Be a man. Please don't do the abortion, please!! Don't kill a life for your mistakes! And please I know that you're better than a killer...

Tomorrow is what you've worked today...

Sorry for my not so gud english...

TS, berani "buat" berani tanggung lah... u think life always got "undo" button like computer meh...

besides, although the circumstances are not the best, but it is still ok.

u can afford to have and keep a child with ur gf so its not too bad lah, just take one thing at a time... in the long run, i believe u will not regret it but its your choice.

Im speechless. sorry unborn kid, i guess your parents doesnt want you to do what they did.

Im going to mourn for the baby. Poor child, you deserve a better parents.

This is one of the occasion that I think we all regret of having the power to kill or to let alive one soul.

May Allah grants you the best solution in your decision.

This is roughly how much you need to spend..

During pregnancy
Monthly checkup - About RM80-RM130 (Depends on what supplements are given but never more than RM130)

During delivery
C-section - Spent RM 5400-00+ (baby's fees included)
Normal Delivery - RM 2,500-2,800+ (baby's fees included)
*All of the above is charge by a private hospital. It will be alot alot cheaper if you go to the goverment's hospital. I heard it's is only RM20 for the monthly's checkup plus all the necessary supplements and RM100+ for delivery

After baby is born
Baby's clothes, baby bed, etc - RM700 maximum
*there's no necessary to buy expensive branded stuffs, you can get those cheaper one in hypermarket like Carrefour, Giant and Tesco
-4 tins of formula per month - RM45 x 4 = RM 180 per month
-2 packet of diapers per month - RM 44 x 2 = RM 90 permonth (that is for Mamypoko brand's diaper, if you buy cheaper ones like Drypers, Pampers, PetPet, Huggies, etc it's cheaper)
-Doctor's monthly consultation and vaccines fee - RM 35 - RM 200 per visit (Depends on the vaccines given)
*When relatives and friends find out that you are going to be a father soon, most will start giving you old baby's clothes, milk bottles, rash cream etc. I have a box full of baby's clothes given by my husband's relatives. I can give it to you if you want because my baby can no longer wear it by the time your baby is born

Confinement Period
If you mom or mother in law can help you with it then normally you just need to give them RM500-RM600 angpow
If you don't have anyone to help you and need a confinement lady then it's RM2K (for a month ONLY)
*Your wife only need to be in confinement for 1 month.
**There will be relatives and friends that will give you angpows, DOM wines, chicken essences ad hampers whenever they come to visit you

My mom is here to take care of my baby but if you need a babysitter/nanny - RM500-RM600 per month

If your wife is already working for a year, she'll be given 2 months PAID maternity leaves. Taking 2 months leaves is more than enough because 95% of new-moms are ready to work after 6 weeks of resting at home.
*I started working after 7 weeks at home

And as I said, you have another 8 months to work hard and to start saving money in your bank. If you can't afford the costly medication and hospital fees then just go to the government hospital.

If you and your wife's salary add up is RM 4,500-RM5,000, it will be more than enough to cover up your daily expenses, bills, and baby expenses already. You can even save some for your baby's future.

For your wedding, since you don't have any savings, go for a low budget one unless your parents are willing to help you out financially. Or else just held a dinner for close friends and relatives only. You can go for photoshoot and honeymoon much later when your baby is born and when both of you had settled down.

Please reconsider your decision.

This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 06:42 AM

Sigh.
The whole night spent sleepless. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel that I made a bad decision. I just feel sad that there seems to be no other choice...
We sat down again last night. Cried a lot, told each other we love each other and then did the math to see if we could possibly change our decision...
What a lot of you fail to understand is WHY I say we are financially unready to support a child. The main reason is because we just recently purchased a house together...
On top of which we are renting a house now because the house we bought isn't ready yet...
So in short here's a basic run down of spending...

House (Monthly loan payments) - RM 2,000
Car Loan - RM 500
House Rental - RM 1,000
Food and Utilities - RM 500
Other loans - RM 200 (Minimum Payment)
Support for Family - RM 500
Traveling expenses - RM 800 (Petrol, toll, parking)

Total minimum expenses each month?
RM 5,500 for both of us....

I cannot depend on my parents because my dad just lost his job due to the economic recession and my mum is retiring soon...
Her mum is not working due to her medical condition and her dad passed away a long time ago...
So parents are out of the equation. No one is coming to save us. Cause no one can...
And all these expenses don't even cover income tax, car insurance and other 1 off payments that can happen at any given time...

So yeah.. maybe now u can see clearly the situation. We both agree we would like to keep the child but it just doesn't seem possible at this moment.
We have to face reality in the end. Its easy to say work harder and make more money but if that were honestly true then there wont be any monetary problems in this world just cause you can work harder. Don't forget that to secure a better paying job u need better certification and working experience. Which only come with time.

Based on the numbers above u can tell that me and my GF are earning above average salary and I would definately keep the child if I could but due to commitments already made it just doesn't seem likely. I already work very hard cause at age 25, how many ppl do you know earning my kind of salary? Honestly? Unless your a genius which I am not..
We put away about roughly RM 1.5k each month but remember that accidents do happen and they cause money.

What happens if the baby is born with a medical illness? Medical costs?
What happens if we end up having twins? or triplets? We can budget at max for 1 child... (also very suffer)

Sigh. Don't judge me harshly without understanding my pain. My suffering. My sadness.
We still have today to figure things out but the odds are still 9 : 1 in favor of termination.

For our benefit, we got a very famous doctor from the US to perform a special procedure. Statistical risk of future complication in pregnancy is 0.5% he assures us that it is perfectly safe and that I can be there with my gf when he performs the procedure...

And I will celebrate the 19th of November every year as the day my son / daughter should have been born...

Minimize house rental maybe? Instead of renting a house, why don't you guys just share a room or something? I know its hard to make a decision and you just want to be able to provide for your baby but in my opinion...isn't it harder thinking whether you've done the right thing in aborting the unborn child? It's going to haunt you for the rest of your life you know...

u've made the decision, happy murdering

my advice, love ur gf (wife) forever, gv her full support all the time.

pls stop using "what if" with those lame excuses

or better if u said "what if i use condom when having sexual intercourse"

"what if i find a part time job and work harder"

"what if i find an alternate solution"

that's only what if.....

since u have made ur mind, then i'm not intend to change it...

the lesson from this thread, wear a condom or happy father's day

house loan RM2k? u buy bungalow mer?

just sell the damn house ! or let it lelong or what soever.

what more importatnt .life or property?

really pissed me off now. 1st i tot u really is very poor. salary 1k like that.

u know how many families outthere can survive family few few hundred bucks only.!

with the numbers above i really don't understnd why you can't afford to give the baby a chance. if me and husband are able to earn that much, we're probably on our baby number 2 already.

you seems to have a lot of excuses.

1st, you say that you are not financially secured as you have almost zero saving.

2nd, you said you are afraid that your gf's mother might have a stroke and die upon knowing the good news.

and now you say you two got a lot of commitments already.

JUST F*CKING ADMIT THAT YOU TWO STILL WANNA HAVE FUN AND DON'T WANT TO HAVE YOUR FREEDOM TIE DOWN BY HAVING A BABY! AND THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO BECOME A PARENTS YET.

FOR YOU TWO, FREEDOM AND FUN > BABY'S LIFE!

Ahhh just blardy close this thread since you've made up your mind. in the future when there are problems arise due to this, don't forget that WE'VE TOLD YOU SO!

you already blog it lulz

ur idiXt ..... arent u both know each time u having sex u will be having chance to having a baby even in a very safe days +dun spoil inside,,,,,,, if u dun have any ready 2 be parent then dun do d sex la,,,,,if u really to terminated pregnant that mean u murdering a new life here!!!!!!!!!!!if u ar a muslim did u know wat have u done ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

No matter what they say about abortion being fine and legit and all, it's still consider murder. Those excuses are made up by doctors who wants to earn income and those who just thinking that running away is the best option. Yeah Malaysia Boleh. Good luck finding peace.

Next time, think carefully before having an unprotective intercouse.

@TS

Just screw your house loan and rental. last time when i live in KL, i rent a room in a flat just for RM80 per month. Even now i rent a house in seremban only at Rm100/month. As daruma said, just let the bank lelong your house. No matter what happen the innocent baby comes first.

Ts .. you did your maths ... knew ur options ..
maybe u are right about the best options for you two is to have an abortion .. but make sure the procedure is as safe as it should ....
the trauma ur gf is about to be endure is great physically and emotionally ...so be there whenever she needs you ..

all best of luck ....

---

Added on March 24, 2009, 9:18 amwith all due respect ..
we couldnt possibly fully understand TS 's situation ..
after deep thoughts ... i assume they had already figure out the very best options for both of them ,.,,
remember .. once a lady undergoes abortion .. her chances of conceiving in the future is threaten ... so dont simply blame them ..

This post has been edited by AngelOfDestruction: Mar 24 2009, 09:18 AM

@TS
If you love your fiancee, dont let her do the abortion. Even if she's only taking pills to abort the child, there are still risks of death.

Sigh. You know Pink I really appreciate ur input but you are too emotional. Please calm down. I appreciate ur feedback very much but you are simply looking for reasons to keep the baby. I'm looking at it objectively. Think about it, if I really wanted to destroy this baby I would have stopped replying to this thread by now. This means I'm actively seeking a way to give it a chance.

A lot of you are very simple minded saying that we should not think about the 'What ifs' imagine you buy a car and say to yourself that it wont get into an accident so you dont buy insurance or cause you cant afford insurance. So when accident? You just throw away the car or let it rot in the garage? Contingency plans must exist. It is a fact of life that babies get sick often and that pediatricians are not cheap.

And about moving into a room? Who's gonna take in a young couple with a child? Seriously? Are you even thinking straight? A child who will cry all night long and disturb the other tenants? ARE YOU SERIOUS?

In fact the house we bought was so that we can raise a family. So you want me to throw away ALL OUR HARD EARNED INVESTMENT for a future that is uncertain? Seriously? In this economic crisis where the price of real estate is falling rapidly?

And if you think that 2k per month for a housing loan is too high, u seriously haven't tried buying a house in KL before have you? Grow up and smell the bills.

Those of you who feel that money is so easy to come by, if any complications should arise, will you come to my help? Or you will just say, "Hey not ready, shouldn't have had a child."

And I'm sick of you idiots who say that we didn't take precaution. WE HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ACTIVE FOR A YEAR YOU MORONS. I HAVE BEEN TAKING PRECAUTION. BUT REMEMBER YOUR CONDOM IS ONLY 99% EFFECTIVE. TAKE THE NUMBER OF TIMES WE'VE HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS OVER THE PERIOD OF A YEAR AND YOU CANT BE SURE THAT THE MINUSCULE 1% DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Sigh... To all you people who say 'Use a Condom'. I pray you all get what you deserve....

do u know alot of couples out there who've been married many years but still can't hv a single baby? they need to spend amount of money jz to get 1 child...

but now u say want ur gf go for abortion? this is not a way to solve it kid. go talk to ur parents and her parents. u wont know what is their reaction if u dont tell them.

unless both of u still not yet ready to be parents....then so be it.

All they think about is
what if the baby is born with medical illness
what if it's a twins triplets octuplets..

but they never think about..
what if she might not be able to conceive.. so.. it's obvious that they just really care about this. Or maybe their mind had been poisoned by the doctor telling them that everything is gonna be OK after the abortion.

I'm really pissed now. If I knew TS and his gf personally I would really slap some sense into their face.

kakakakakakakakaa!!!!!!!!!!! padan muka!!!!!!!!!!!!!

masa main tak pakai otak.... dah kene baru nak guna..

This post has been edited by killingspree: Mar 24 2009, 09:27 AM

TS, no matter how many people are opposed to your idea, you do realize that you & your gf are going to make the decision. do what you think it's right mate. all the best