aiya... both female n male oso need to jaga themselves la.
then this world no divorce.

male: earn enough money. dun find other gal (but if the wife keep fit face pretty sure no scandal rite) know how to spend the money.

female:keep body fit, face dun wrinkle. (n dun cheat using plastic surgery, no michael jackson plz) .and also do whatever ur husband says coz he's the breadwinner. dun refuse sex. unless u r supporting urself.

hey bro, please forgive me, I am not finding fault with you, you got IQ 160 but you have a too simplistic view of life I think.

1 thing you're wrong..you're treating a woman as if you have all the right on the person...

Hmm, you're right. Perhaps I should rephrase myself and add Love + Commitment to my post.

Although I could argue that commitment comes naturally with true love... and that even the most commited relationships can fail when love erodes... when one partner thinks he/she can do better. Hence the people who cheat arent really in true love.

well well well.... it seems some light is coming after all in this discourse.. finally there is some true and real substance.

if you ask me.. a relationship needs two ppl to work on it. its the husbands job to strive and provide what his family needs in good times and bad times. its the wife's job to support his husband emotionally to do so and hold him together in good or bad times.

the problem with todays world is quite simply this and i do believe that this is absolutely true. most ppl today who were born in the 80's and late 70's have had life too easy. they feel that the luxuries of life is a birthright and not something that is earned. ps3, computers, pocket money big cars everything that they get from their parents since they were kids is something that is due to them and not something that they work for. subsequently they feel the same about marriage and love. they feel its their birthright to find the best candidate for love and marriage and not something that they have to work on every single day. if they dont succeed in it they move on and find someone else or resort to defeatist actions.

love and marriage and commitment does not come easy my friends. every single day you have to work for it and at it. the marriage is not going to work unless you work on building a lasting stronger relationship. the money is not going to come unless you work to get it.

If you're thinking of going into business, consider opportunities instead of just limiting to your skills or industry you're working in.

Poor people live within their means. Thats how they survive. If they can't afford education for their kids, they just send them to work, or beg.
Simple. Some even trade food for liquor too. Very nice and warm family.

Do you think those who're undeserving of love should be offered loved unconditionally?

its actually a 2-way kinda thing.
and my view is actually on these kind of women.
u kno the ones who easily leave a guy who's not rich, or suddenly went bankrupt?

what goes around comes around.

when tat woman is old and wrinkled, she's got nothing to offer already, but the husband still has money. so he can go sleep around.

I see Jolibee! Filipinos are quite pretty

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Added on April 29, 2009, 3:45 pmThis isn't the case, if you do read TS's earlier predicament with her bf of 4 years.

This post has been edited by happy4ever: Apr 29 2009, 03:45 PM

well... if you said so...one man's meat is another man's poison

Luxury as one mentioned has somehow been 'downsized' to 'necessity'.
Of course different people have different values.

How many would deem fine dining as need or necessity?
How many would agree that eating out is luxury or necessity? (Even eating out has various levels be it mamak, chinese restaurants, fast food,)

My parents used to live from hand to mouth with practically 0 cash leftover to save. Did they get a divorce or separate? Nope. They chose to get married even in poverty.
With love, hard work and determination, they made it.

yeah.. that means TS isnt that kinda gal.

but... she/he did say "marry a rich guy n hav an affair with the cute guy"

so.. i tink that's because she can afford to while she's young n hawt..

but the rich guy... can say "marry the ugly 1 , ... and hav affair with the hawt ones"

i duno how to phrase this.. but i hope u got me. lol.

so u see.. to blame guys or blame girls for divorce ?

depends on who started this mentality.

in the end its jus a chicken and egg situation.


This post has been edited by arsenwagon: Apr 29 2009, 03:55 PM

Make money for yourself, not to get a girl or even to marry her. The money you make should further your own goals. As for women, rather than marrying up, it is perhaps a better idea to make your own money also, in order to be financially independent. I've known of enough examples where women marry richer men only to find themselves completely dependent and thus completely at their mercy.

A very prestigious wealthy man and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."

Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"

"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember if we get a divorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris , no more wintering in Barbados , no more summers in Tuscany , no more Jaguar in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."

Just then, a colleague of the husband enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

"Who's that woman with Matt ?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," says her husband.

"Ours is prettier," she replies.

Yup.

If you're Chinese then chances are you would have family who came from backgrounds of poverty. Aunts, uncles, or grandparents.

In the old days daughters would be married off into rich families in arranged marriages. This was something that women had to be rather stoic about, but it wasn't unheard of for a girl to cry and be very sad that she would be married off to somebody she hardly knew, chances are is quite ugly, just because of money that her family wanted. In those days women wanted the choice to marry for love, and to be with a man they liked, rather than have that choice made for them.

Malaysia is built on the backs of the poor. How many stories and examples do we know of, of hardworking, poor people who were constantly on the lookout for business opportunities and finally made it big, being able to afford nice houses, expensive cars and send their children overseas for education where a mere generation ago they came from a Chinese ghetto (I mean kampung baru), or plantation? Back in those days, a woman with choice would rather be with a man who would care and appreciate her and was hardworking, than go for somebody who already had the money - because the psychology of the latter usually meant that a poorer woman from a poorer family attaching themselves to such a man would only be used and then chucked like expendable goods.

But things have changed. They are no longer the same. People themselves have changed.

That was then. THIS is now. Old values no longer have meaning in a world that has changed so drastically in a mere two to three generations.

I can only exhort the menfolk here to also evolve with the times. Evolve, or be extinct. Clinging to past values will not save you or give you inherent worthiness - no matter how many people pat you on the head and coo at you the words "good boy", "responsible" and "gentleman". Most of these same people will not be around when you fall on hard times and are in need of support.

You must be able to tell apart the real and the fake.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Apr 29 2009, 04:29 PM

that;s why u need to be a bad boy as well.
if u got the money, go out n hav affairs.

dont juz get used by gals who korek ur money.

note: as said by previous poster this only applies for current generation.

This post has been edited by arsenwagon: Apr 29 2009, 04:17 PM

dickson, i agree with you that ppl have changed and that society has changed. however, i beg to differ on the point that men have to discard past values and evolve to become one of the herd. why should we? what do we gain? acceptance into the norms of the society perhaps? it could be so, but does it guarantee happiness? does it guarantee self-satisfaction? why cannot we evolve and elevate our position in the society and the hierarchy while retaining our values? why cant we be both a true classic gentleman and a rich man all at the same time? i do not think that this is utopian nor is it futile to be attempted. in my own experience, i have had the pleasure of having a number of friends who are both very rich and yet so refined and these are the ppl whom i look upto and make an example of. i look with scorn to the scum of the society like chua soi lek and look with adoration at my friends whom i personally know.

i do not think that past values are irrelevant nor dispensable today. on the contrary past values in my opinion is what will lead us into a brighter future. a future where one is judged by the depth of the character and not the pocket. if there is anyone who feels that the past values should be discarded, i feel sorry for them.

No. Not evolve to become one of the herd.

But to evolve to become ABOVE the herd.

Do you understand now?

ahhahahhahahahahhahahhahahah.

For some reason, that just came out... Hmm?

The secret is simple. Setting a goal and attaining it. I think you don't really have a goal, even if you do, its vague and unclear.

You blame it on salary, boo hoo. A lot of people are getting paid a lot less than you, how come they can get by? You know what separates them from you? The willingness to work hard to achieve their goals. If you're getting paid crap, that only means 2 things. One, you have a lousy employer. Two, you're a lousy employee. People who are good in their fields are sought after, people who such are just "average" or lousy don't get to negotiate salary. So its either you find yourself a better employer, or you improve yourself to the point where you will get a better offer!

Even in business, its not just about owning the business. Owning a business doesn't mean you'll make money, in many cases people actually LOSE money. Almost no one succeeds in a business the first time around, they will probably have failed multiple times before they succeeded. Business is all about finding opportunities, taking risks and building up from scratch when you've failed.

Its easy to blame the girl when she leaves you for a richer guy, but guess what? Its not really about the money that she left you. Its about the mentality and character that made the guy rich that she's attracted to. The money just comes along naturally with it. That is the quality people like you probably lack. I don't think moorish would have left her lorry driver partner if he strived to improve himself.

That's what you think, the problem is you can't even define what is true love. So how can you say one person is truly in love with another person or not? Commitment is simply the choice to stick with a decision and take responsibility for it. The attraction and passion between couples will always reach a point of normality, so its easy to get attracted to people that can give you some excitement. That doesn't mean you don't love your partner, the question is, can you be true to your commitment?

Very well said. I've been saying pretty much the same thing all along. Social dominance, along with the charm, confidence and charisma that comes with it is very difficult to achive without money in the modern world.


If you have cash, you can spend on your dates. You can take her to places and spend more time with her...increasing your chances of clicking on an emotional level and building a relationship. If you are successful in your career, you would be a more confident person... and charisma is built on confidence.


Money and social dominance are very intertwined in the modern world.

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Added on April 29, 2009, 5:59 pm dude, read the sentence properly lah... it was a RHETORICAL argument that I myself do not quite believe in.

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Added on April 29, 2009, 6:02 pmI agree... though you must admit that "depth of character" aka charm/confidence/charisma in guys that is just so appealing to women comes naturally when a guy is thriving... It is VERY DIFFICULT to build depth of character without money in the modern world...Without social dominance, you could have a very complex evolved character...but it would not be the right type of character that attracts women

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Added on April 29, 2009, 6:03 pmHAhahahahaha. ROFL. Should be pasted into Jokes Haven..




This post has been edited by ezralimm: Apr 29 2009, 06:03 PM