Be strong bro. I have been there before and it is not easy.

I used to be very affected by my parents on the way the treat me and what they say. Usually it is very hurtful especially if you are the one taking care of them. But, nowadays especially my Alzhemeir mother talked rubbish (as she can't mask it out anymore), I would just laughed it out rather than let the words affect me. Might feel awkward at first, but once you have gone over this phase, no words shall affect your emotion anymore. This is the only way I keep myself sane and not affecting other people like my own child.

Most siblings and relatives are the same. Just ignore them

sorry to be morbid here .

been on this road for 6 years now.

1st 3 years its my mother . on and off sick . heart attack , just 1 month in hosp on life support. as if she knew better to went to the other side as doctor say kenot do anything coz brain severly out ady . if bring home will need 24/7 care . got the ambulance ready to bring home , but yeah she went .

to be completely honest, minimal suffering period is the best . at least you done what u can , . ppl n relative going to come , say all sad2 things, dude, during she alive u din visit pulak, sembang so many memories here n there , etc .

prefer to keep the good memories while still healthy .

ppl say i good kid, i say no . sometime dunno, got grunt, got accidentally angry, got frustrated, im not buddha , im no saint, lagi banyak dosa got take care compared to those who not . after not my turn take care , (when caregiver come) , i feel so suffocated to sit at home, will go out of house , running or swimming until so late in the evening, mindlessly lepaking at mamak, coz no mood at home ady . of course this hurts the merid life, can't have normal merid life like others. sometime i so jelly see others have life all figured out , traveling w their kids here n there.

ah but this is just /k, sembang only. i'll manage somehow, maybe

I feel you all. Have two meltdowns in the two months taking care of my father in hospital. I want to be put out of my misery.

What a horrible experience. If only got option to push the button and turn off the life support.

I'm worrying it's gonna be this way soon with my father, which we doesn't get along with and is a very difficult person to deal with. If I can't stand him at the moment, I wonder how I can cope with him if those things happens?

When the time comes, the sick cannot say anything but to accept his condition. The caregiver will just accept that his parents is now going through his final days.

This post has been edited by mini orchard: Sep 4 2025, 01:41 PM

Tough situation and won't know till you're that crossroad. Whether the elderly wants or not is another issue. Some has no choice but to go nursing home because situation doesn't permit for taking care. Some think hire maid solve all, that is the another problem if the maid is able to take care of the elderly and do other things...In the end, nursing home is the reality.

To each their own, maybe your case is different, and hope you have a better outcome.

not so easy, there are some hard headed elderly that doesn't want this and that...also not so care giving compassionate family members around.

tough world we live in.

This is quite common. Those who stay far far away who calls once a while are considered very loving. Those who stay there to be the primary care giver get complained a lot. Why are people like that? Then when you do this do that, those far far long time only come back once will complain why you do like this. Cibai, did they even do anything? Calling to ask how are you is considered loving and doing something?

I gave up everything, all dreams and hopes to move back home to take care of my dad till his final days. At the beginning of the caregiving days, physical tiring but fulfilling because he was my dad. The mental struggle on the other hand was horrible while I still need to figure out a way to make a living

It got even worse when my old man was on hospice cancer treatment, tiap tiap hari kena fak and maki by him sbab he was weak n miserable due to the chemo after effect. It was especially heart breaking when bringing him to choose his cremation plot, I will always remember his expression when he realised he is actually going to die

Lucky it was minimal suffering for him and when he passed, I actually felt a sense of relief for him. I still grieve every now and then but no regrets as am glad I walked with him till the end, made sure he lived his final years with dignity

So bub, hang in there. It is tiring and mentally draining but since u have decided to take care of them, chin up n walk with them till the end. Nak mengamuk go scream at the sky. It helps. Org lain might think we psycho. Lantak la dia org 😀

dementia you mean?

I meant the caretaker's. The person whose taking care of the eldery..

1. its important to take care of yourself 1st in order to give your best on taking care of others

2. the hardest person to take care off are those who no longer want to take care of themselves

can you give me some examples...

Stay strong TS... stress just sembang kacang at /k..

Most job take a toll on either physical, mental, psychological.

Care giver whack you on all three fronts.

All the best...

at the end of the day, you know you did the best you could with all the circumstances. be proud OP

Human nature is like this. If you are there everyday, people will bising. Overtime it add up and they feel you as nuisance. Once take on responsibility for a while people also take for granted that things will be handle. But if only see them once in a while their last memory is of those sibling/relative is based on past memory when they were kids who could do no wrong. Like their thinking of them is frozen in past state while their thinking of you changing everyday from good to annoyance.

But yes, those who are not there day to day visit once in a while then criticize this and that like they know best are the worst. Tokok all high and mighty, but fail to realize they just maybe visit few times a year like CNY. The smart ones knows you handle everything and will keep quiet at least until time come to fight inheritance. Then they come very out strong.