Srsly man.

ayam feel yesterday ayam at breaking point alrdy. Work is already tiring, then come PH, no rest, have to take care full time . felt that even merid life oso is taking a hit. I miss those days when there are no responsibilities at all . well, that's being adult, I guess.

taking care of elderly is really hard man . 60kg + want to up and down each n every time , change pampers, etc .

Now I'm trying to diet and exercise almost daily, quit all vape n smoking, so that I'd either go out early with heart attack or live healthily like Tun at 100 and not be dependent on anyone.

seems like a taboo for type M to send to old folks . now manageable with caregiver . but even then when the caregiver is on leave i have to take over.

unfortunately no help at all since they all had their own family . also since the parents house i bought for a discount. so no choice .

if i known it would be this hard, i would've chose otherwise.

true. not even locals want to do these kinds of jobs .

79 now

sorry to be morbid here .

been on this road for 6 years now.

1st 3 years its my mother . on and off sick . heart attack , just 1 month in hosp on life support. as if she knew better to went to the other side as doctor say kenot do anything coz brain severly out ady . if bring home will need 24/7 care . got the ambulance ready to bring home , but yeah she went .

to be completely honest, minimal suffering period is the best . at least you done what u can , . ppl n relative going to come , say all sad2 things, dude, during she alive u din visit pulak, sembang so many memories here n there , etc .

prefer to keep the good memories while still healthy .

ppl say i good kid, i say no . sometime dunno, got grunt, got accidentally angry, got frustrated, im not buddha , im no saint, lagi banyak dosa got take care compared to those who not . after not my turn take care , (when caregiver come) , i feel so suffocated to sit at home, will go out of house , running or swimming until so late in the evening, mindlessly lepaking at mamak, coz no mood at home ady . of course this hurts the merid life, can't have normal merid life like others. sometime i so jelly see others have life all figured out , traveling w their kids here n there.

ah but this is just /k, sembang only. i'll manage somehow, maybe