I agree it may be good for the deceased with minimal suffering period, but for me it come as a shock as it is too sudden and he showed signs of improvement, so I had my hopes up

This post has been edited by Youth City Nilai: Sep 2 2025, 10:33 AM

Actually, it's sort of true that it is easier to die there. One of the reasons is bacterial infection. A late change of soiled pampers, for example, promotes bacterial growth. And it spreads to the rest. Someone will flu will spread to the rest too. This is the risk associated with communal living.

Of course, staying at home also has its own risk - falls, etc.

People are inherently selfish. Parents too. Most fail to see how they affect their children's quality of life by insisting on staying in own home when they cannot take care of themselves.

I feel you bro. Reason I stayed here was to spend more time with aging parents. Both my siblings went working elsewhere to make more money. But in the end, I'm the "unsuccessful and useless" one in the eyes of my relatives, and parents also seem to treat my siblings better (but also maybe because they see them less) but see me almost everyday.

Actually people tell me, I am a good kid taking care of mom. I think my brother goes to heaven while I goes to hell even thought I am the one taking care of mom. Because taking care of mom have high stress and frustrations. Sometimes I scolded my mom. Argued with her. Isn't that worse karma compared to those who didn't take care of her? Those who have my stress please raise their hand. Haha.

Unker foreveralone, now thinking to secure myself a spot in old folks home when I'm old, any good place in kl?

You are not alone. Many who worked there will find themselves family-less as people avoid them when they are no longer working there. It doesn't matter how well they treated their family members when they were working in sinkie.

I totally feel u bro, hats off to u too to have the iron will and unwavering dedication to take care of your old folk. It's extremely challenging task if u are the only caretaker as it will drain u mentally, psychically and monetary, at one point deep in ur heart u will wish it to end soon. (abit jahat and unfilial but it came naturally)

Take care bro!

This post has been edited by anzen600: Sep 2 2025, 04:16 PM

u r not alone bro.. thinking of the karma thing

One of my relative baru only check in facility. Quite high keras type.

Husband full blown dementia. Wife go there stay together both total 15k per month.

Can already forsee 30 years later many homeless cuckoo old ppl running around. Anak tak ramai, no retirement savings cos all busy taking out from epf account3. good luck guys

if you have done your best, your heart knows it and won't feel bad.

it's never easy to look after them (more so, if you aren't their fav child... kkkkk... imagine they need to see their least fav child everyday, but old people, weird thinking..)

bed sores too if the old folks are bed ridden

and there are some unscrupulous old folks home that doesn't bother gender. I've seen with my own eyes that some purposely leave the bathroom door open in front of others to see. Such humiliation and then got old man go show his penis openly.

Those far far away and least they see are their favs. Those close by taking care of them day in day out threat them worst than trash.

These char siew parents also deserve it sometimes.

need a AA nursing home bah.. RM3 to RM5K/mth

betul. my mader only calls me when she needs something (not even hello, how are you, or care about me)... but im the black sheep (she talks shit about me to everyone when I was busy working to earn money for the house bills and groceries)... while her fav son who doesn't spend a cent or a second with her is very good son.

so to me, i have done my part, she has 3 other kids to take care of her... i live with no regrets. shouted... frustrated... all of which been ignored.

grieving happens when the other person is still alive. it's sad.

Your relatives and other siblings:
1. why you so cold blood? Not a filial child la u.
2. Those who suggest have to pay for the bill. I’m not part of it. We have our family too so I’m not rotating with you as well.
3. (Touch wood if anything happen at the nursing home) see la ? Suggest nursing home summo la? Told you this would happen. It’s all your fault.

Normally NF with these ppl bah.. Bring no value to ur life why bother nia?

You don't have to give a fuck about these people. Whatever you do, they will spin it to their liking. Even if they are your family members or relative, just cut them off completely. They are not paying your bills, so they should STFU.

Well frankly I don’t. Just sharing what I have seen myself when this things happen on other people. Not everyone can handle it.

And the worse part? The sick old parent will still side with the these people instead of the child that taking care of them. What would you do den?

simple, tell them talk so much for what, give them 1 month taking care of the parents see how fast they throw to old folks home or nursing home.

This part is absolutely true. But is ok! You have done your part as a responsible adult, filial child, and as a human, the rest leave it as there.

Those who did nothing are the fastest to judge and criticize.