sorry to be morbid here  .

been on this road for 6 years now.

1st 3 years its my mother . on and off sick .  heart attack , just 1 month in hosp on life support. as if she knew better to went to the other side as doctor say kenot do anything coz brain severly out ady . if bring home will need 24/7 care . got the ambulance ready to bring home , but yeah she went .

to be completely honest, minimal suffering period is the best . at least you done what u can , . ppl n relative going to come , say all sad2 things, dude, during she alive u din visit pulak, sembang so many memories here n there , etc  .

prefer to keep the good memories while still healthy .

ppl say i good kid, i say no . sometime dunno, got grunt, got accidentally angry, got frustrated, im not buddha , im no saint, lagi banyak dosa got take care compared to those who not . after not my turn take care , (when caregiver come) , i feel so suffocated to sit at home, will go out of house , running or swimming until so late in the evening, mindlessly lepaking at mamak, coz no mood at home ady . of course this hurts the merid life, can't have normal merid life like others. sometime i so jelly see others have life all figured out , traveling w their kids here n there.

ah but this is just /k, sembang only. i'll manage somehow, maybe