Malaysian Racist Jokes (not religion)

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Malaysian Racist Jokes (not religion), For mamak sharing, share here

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orenzai	Nov 4 2007, 09:29 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #201
Look at all my stars!! Senior Member 3,114 posts Joined: Dec 2006	hahaa...some very good and rare jokes by castelloz...good job... after rading all the posts..i decided to post up one...hope you guys don find it offensive... there was this contest in some place whereby the challenge was to sit inside a room with a goat for as long as possible...the person who could stay in there the longest wins... first person, a chinese went in and came out withing 2 minutes...he could stand the smell and gave up... second person, a maly went in... 5 minutes...ten minutes...he came out also... saying it was too smelly... third person was an indian, he went in... ten minutes, twenty minutes... and after half an hour the goat came out with its nose covered... this was translated version as it should be funnier verbally... hope you guys could imagine the scene...hah..
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kenny B	Nov 4 2007, 09:39 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #202
Enthusiast Senior Member 846 posts Joined: Nov 2006	QUOTE(yewkhuay @ Nov 3 2007, 12:13 PM) Chinese wish : 1 - One luxurious MPV 2 - 2 wives 3 - 3 kids 4 - 4 shop lot 5 - 5 Room semi-D 6 - 6 figure income Malays wish : 6 - 6 figure income 5 - 5 director posts 4 - 4 pretty wives 3 - 3 maids 2 - 2 working days 1 - 1 bungalow built like istana see, we do hav some similiarity. i do wish for the second though. just that if not presented with such choices, most likely id say the 1st, without kids and wives
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kazasho	Nov 4 2007, 09:44 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #203
カザショ！ Senior Member 1,964 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: San Andreas	QUOTE(gregy @ Nov 4 2007, 01:30 AM) Ok here's a story about some students studying in the UK. I can't verify its authenticity but apparently it really happened. A few Malaysian students were on board a train in UK, heading back from their uni. Standing next to them is an old Englishman who seemed a little tardy and looking the worse for wear. He was also not very good at personal hygiene, so he smelled a fair bit. The M'sian students couldn't stand the smell oozing out of the old geezer, and started b****ing about it among themselves. As they were in UK, they didn't want to curse in English, so they spoke in BM. "Wah, orang ni busuk macam babi la,". This went on for a while, with the students making really bad comments about the old man. Then as the train reached the old man's stop, he prepared to get down. The students were busily joking and talking among themselves that they didn't realise the old man wanted to get off. The old man looked at the M'sian group and said, » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « "Tolong tepi sikit, babi mau turun!" Here's also another true story. This Ah Beng named Tan successfully made a call to Hitz.FM during a call in session for tickets to Mika's concert in KL (or was it for his CD, I can't remember). So anyway, the DJ asked him to sing a few lines from Mika's album. Of course his most famous song was "Relax, Take It Easy". But the DJ didn't tell him specifically to sing that song, just any song from Mika's album. So Tan Ah Beng started singing confidently, guess what he sang? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « "PHOENIX! take it easy yeah.........." The DJ laughed like mad, Tan was damn shy hahaha! I think Ah Beng needs to get his ears waxed or get a better stereo set lol! One more radio fcuk up. DJ Yasmin Yusuff used to host this programme that asked callers to describe the common name for scientific terms that she dishes out. So one day this Chinese woman calls up and excitedly asks Yasmin to bring it on. So Yasmin said "Sodium Chloride" (which is commonly known as salt) or Natrium Klorida in BM. So poor aunty doesn't have a clue, she kept asking Yasmin for clues. Yasmin: "It's something you commonly find in the kitchen" Aunty: "Err, I still not sure la, can pleez give me one more clue ah?" Yasmin: "Ok, one more and that's it. It's something you put on your husband's eggs in the morning" » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Aunty: (Shouts) Ah! I think I know, I think I know! Is it...........TALCUM POWDER??" huahuahuahua superbly funny!!! after lick then put talcum powder
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NasiLemakMan	Nov 4 2007, 09:55 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #204
oh hai! wan naslemak? Senior Member 962 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: KL	» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « QUOTE(gregy @ Nov 4 2007, 01:30 AM) Ok here's a story about some students studying in the UK. I can't verify its authenticity but apparently it really happened. A few Malaysian students were on board a train in UK, heading back from their uni. Standing next to them is an old Englishman who seemed a little tardy and looking the worse for wear. He was also not very good at personal hygiene, so he smelled a fair bit. The M'sian students couldn't stand the smell oozing out of the old geezer, and started b****ing about it among themselves. As they were in UK, they didn't want to curse in English, so they spoke in BM. "Wah, orang ni busuk macam babi la,". This went on for a while, with the students making really bad comments about the old man. Then as the train reached the old man's stop, he prepared to get down. The students were busily joking and talking among themselves that they didn't realise the old man wanted to get off. The old man looked at the M'sian group and said, » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « "Tolong tepi sikit, babi mau turun!" Here's also another true story. This Ah Beng named Tan successfully made a call to Hitz.FM during a call in session for tickets to Mika's concert in KL (or was it for his CD, I can't remember). So anyway, the DJ asked him to sing a few lines from Mika's album. Of course his most famous song was "Relax, Take It Easy". But the DJ didn't tell him specifically to sing that song, just any song from Mika's album. So Tan Ah Beng started singing confidently, guess what he sang? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « "PHOENIX! take it easy yeah.........." The DJ laughed like mad, Tan was damn shy hahaha! I think Ah Beng needs to get his ears waxed or get a better stereo set lol! One more radio fcuk up. DJ Yasmin Yusuff used to host this programme that asked callers to describe the common name for scientific terms that she dishes out. So one day this Chinese woman calls up and excitedly asks Yasmin to bring it on. So Yasmin said "Sodium Chloride" (which is commonly known as salt) or Natrium Klorida in BM. So poor aunty doesn't have a clue, she kept asking Yasmin for clues. Yasmin: "It's something you commonly find in the kitchen" Aunty: "Err, I still not sure la, can pleez give me one more clue ah?" Yasmin: "Ok, one more and that's it. It's something you put on your husband's eggs in the morning" » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Aunty: (Shouts) Ah! I think I know, I think I know! Is it...........TALCUM POWDER??" I can imagine the radio crew burst laughing at the talcum powder part. The auntie sound so confident lol.
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SUSkillingspree	Nov 4 2007, 10:19 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #205
Casual Junior Member 456 posts Joined: Dec 2006	QUOTE(NasiLemakMan @ Nov 4 2007, 09:55 PM) » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « I can imagine the radio crew burst laughing at the talcum powder part. The auntie sound so confident lol. hahaha....talcum powder..... sometimes shit ass happened.... husband's eggs , she thought that balls....hahahahahahaha!!!!
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kerazul	Nov 4 2007, 10:42 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #206
Regular Senior Member 1,176 posts Joined: Aug 2007	QUOTE(kazasho @ Nov 4 2007, 09:44 PM) huahuahuahua superbly funny!!! after lick then put talcum powder ZOMG KAZASHO!! NOOO!! puke puke
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kazasho	Nov 5 2007, 12:47 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #207
カザショ！ Senior Member 1,964 posts Joined: Jun 2006 From: San Andreas	QUOTE(kerazul @ Nov 4 2007, 10:42 PM) ZOMG KAZASHO!! NOOO!! puke puke LOVH!!! after tired discussing on pda,come to jokes heaven n have a lol sure good one
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oUtLawMaNia	Nov 5 2007, 10:58 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #208
New Member Junior Member 38 posts Joined: Aug 2005 From: /k/uching	QUOTE(shinnosuke @ Oct 16 2007, 10:17 AM) dude .. the original joke is about nationality .. China have alot of malay? i will not point any but please stop posting joke that doesnt potray the characteristic of the race.. anyone can replace the subject of that joke with any race and that surely has no point except to offend ..especially those nigra copycat joke Msian chinese la ngong, tell me how can u replace that smarty
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JiaWei123	Nov 7 2007, 05:10 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #209
Getting Started Junior Member 96 posts Joined: May 2007	There are a few Jokes, which i found that i dunno whether its been post b4. One day, Muthu asked his wife, Muthu: Do i look like a foreigner? His wife replied NO. Muthu`s wife : No, why did you asked? Muhtu replied : when i was in London, they said i am a foreigner. Kinda Lame.. ONe more.. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Superman, Spider man, Ultraman , Smart Malay and Stupid Malay chasing for a ball. Guess who got it? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Stupid Malay » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Because Superman, Spider man, Ultraman and Smart Malay dosent exist. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Muthu`s theory , he cut a leg of a cockroach and yell at it to move, it move. He cuts another, and yells at it it still move. He remove all the legs and yell at it but it dose not move. WHY??? Muthu : I can conclude that if you cut all the cockroach legs, the cockroach will be deaf » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Why are indian so fast? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « The slow ones are in jail. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « An American, a Jew and an Indian are all 3 sentenced to death. The judge tells them: "I am a good guy, so I will allow you to choose the way you want to die...". The American says: "Hang me, just like in the Old West"; they hang him, he dies... Then the Jew said: "I want you to put me in an oven, kill me like Hitler killed my ancestors!"; they cook him, he dies... The Indian comes laughing and the judge reminds him: "there is nothing funny about death you know..."...the Indian apologizes and says he wants to be infected with the most dangerous form of HIV/AIDS...they inject it and the Indian bursts out laughing: "HA! HA! I am not going to die...! I was wearing a condom!!" » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « What do you call a white man surrounded by twenty five indians? You call him bartender! » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « How do you keep Indians out of your neighborhood? Keep a liquor store between your house and the reservation. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « How do you keep an indian out of your back yard? Move the trash cans to the front. » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « What you call a singh with one ball? Jaswant singh (just one singh) » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Two balls? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Balan Singh (balancing) » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Singh with three balls? Ama Singh (AMAZING) » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Who is the Sikhs' favourite pop musician? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Barry Manilow, because he wrote the hits "I Write The Songs That Make The Whole World Singh" <<NICE SONG What is the study of Sikhs called? Bhai-ology. What is the study of young Sikhs? Microbhailogy. What heart surgery procedure did Mr. Singh undergo? A bhaipass. What do you call a young Bhai? A Singh-let! What is the official mode of transport for Bhais? Bhaicycles! What do you call a Bhai who celebrates Mother's Day? Amarjit Singh! What do you call a Bhai on a tightrope? Balan Singh! What do you call a Bhai with only one testicle? Balwant Singh! What do you call a Bhai pharmacist? Dispen Singh! What do you call a Bhai who likes Chinese herbs? Gin Singh! What do you call a unique Bhai? Justwan Singh! What do you call an alcoholic Bhai? Jagbir Singh! What do you call a Bhai in a swimming pool? Kuldip Singh! What do you call a Sikh swimming UNDERWATER in the pool? Kuldip Singh Gill. What do you call a Bhai who's coming only tomorrow? Mahjit Singh! What do you call a Bhai who lives between Singapore and Kuantan? Mer Singh! What do you call a Bhai who's lost? Mis Singh! What do you call a Bhai who keeps turning round in circles? Pu Singh (pusing) What do you call an idle Bhai? Relac Singh! What do you call a Bhai who comes to visit you every three days? Sarjit Singh! What do you call a Bhai in shock? Surpri Singh! What do you call a Bhai doctor? Tantock Singh! What was the Six Million Dollar Bhai also called? The Bhai-onic man! What do you call a Bhai wife-abuser? Rotten to the Kaur! What was Mrs. Singh called when she joined a Cantonese criminal gang? Dai Kaur! What was Mrs. Singh called when she posed for Playboy? Bohcheng Kaur! What was Mrs. Singh called when she acted in a porno movie? Hard Kaur! What do you call a Bhai who drinks only beer? Jasbir Singh. What about the Sikh who likes tao hway chwee? Yeo Heap Singh. What do you call a Sikh driving a flashy red BMW who cuts into your lane? * Lei Ah Singh. What do you call a Sikh who wants to make a U-turn? (contributed by anonymous) Kebelakangpu Singh What is a Bhai's favorite Christmas Carol? (contributed by R. Gomes) Hark The Herald Angels Singh! What do you call a Sikh who doesn't bathe but always goes to the disco? (contributed by R. Gomes) A Dirty DanSingh Did you hear about the Sikh ambulance? Its siren goes Babu, Babu, Babu... Why do Sikhs make good shopkeepers? (contributed by Edwin) Because when you enter their shop to buy something, you are the buyer; which makes them the buyee. Why are there so many Sikh money changers in Singapore? (contributed by Edwin) Because they like to deal in Sing dollars. What do you call a Sikh who is drunk? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Yum Singh What do you call a Sikh who is a gangster? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Sum Singh What do you call a Sikh who is noisy? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Bisingh (bising is Malay for 'noisy') What do you call a Sikh who killed Indira Gandhi? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Assassingh What were Indira Gandhi's farewell words? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Bhai, bhai What do you call a Sikh who swims underwater in a swimming pool? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Kuldip Singh Gill What do you call a Sikh parking attendant? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Pakir Singh What do you call a Sikh who is friendly to Americans? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Pal Singh What do you call a Sikh who works very hard? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Choor Singh What do you call a Sikh who is blind? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Buta Singh What do you call a two-wheeled vehicle for Sikhs? (contributed by Gerald Soo) A bhai-cycle What do you call a Sikh who uses insecticide? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Bhai-gon. What do you call a Sikh who is recovering from surgery? (contributed by Gerald Soo) Convales Singh » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « What you call a Girl Singh who likes PORNOs?? HArd KAUR Added on November 7, 2007, 5:16 pmSorry bout the poor posting. Cause first timer-post with spoilers.. Here are some others.. Dr M, paid a visit to the White House. After finishing formal discussions with Clinton, Dr M checks with Bill to find out if there is a way to sell the Kancil in the USA. After going through the brochure Bill said: "You know, I think this Kuncheel is too small for us Americans" Not one who gives up easily, Dr M persisted and finally Clinton offered: "Ok, take this number down. This guy is my good buddy and he's also the CEO of the biggest compact car distributor in North America". Dr M was satisfied with the meeting and returns to Malaysia. The next day he decides to call the number suggested by Bill. The phone rang for awhile, after which a lady on the other end answered: "TOYS R US". Can I help you?" Just to give you the hang of it... How many Irish does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five. One stands on top the table holding the bulb, the other four rotates the table. How many Chinese does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One screws in the bulb, the other one gives you the bill. How many Indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fifty. And they'll form a union after that. How many Malays does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Malays are not supposed to screw anything other than their wives. How many TNB workers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One screws in the light bulb, nine others claim overtime. How many MIC members does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They can't reach the bulb. Somebody threw all the chairs and tables. How many Sarong Party Girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Sarong Party Girls don't screw anything that's yellow. This post has been edited by JiaWei123**: Nov 7 2007, 05:16 PM
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ShinAsakura	Nov 7 2007, 10:46 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #210
티파니씨 를 좋아해요 Senior Member 2,134 posts Joined: Jun 2006	my god....."one more"
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redeye84	Nov 7 2007, 11:08 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #211
Getting Started Junior Member 177 posts Joined: Mar 2005	u suck in spoilers...
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JiaWei123	Nov 7 2007, 11:44 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #212
Getting Started Junior Member 96 posts Joined: May 2007	Yea, i do...
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NasiLemakMan	Nov 8 2007, 12:03 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #213
oh hai! wan naslemak? Senior Member 962 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: KL	I loled at the too much spoilers.
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HangJebat	Nov 9 2007, 02:29 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #214
New Member Junior Member 28 posts Joined: Jan 2003 From: Shudokan KL	hi all... good jokes here this' just a repost: ---- I was looking for an empty space to park my car at Bangsar when suddenly there's a knock on the glass "Encik ah..tanya sikit ah..itu Chimpeng mana ah..?" "Apa?" "Chimpeng, Chimpeng...saya sudah tanya itu guard ah.. dia ckaap sini ada satu Chimpeng..." "Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh...Apa tempat itu Chimpeng?" "Aiyah...itu Chimpeng balu punya..Saya mau pigi angkat wang la..." "Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa?Along ka?" "Chimpeng bukan kedai ma..lu itu pun tak tau ah..? itu Chimpeng macam itu Maypeng, Public Peng, RHetB Peng...itu balu punya Peng.." buat aku pening je.. dia actually cari ....... CIMB Bank .. !!!!!!!
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gregy	Nov 9 2007, 04:59 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #215
Casual Junior Member 411 posts Joined: Apr 2007	Hey you forgot about the Sikh currency, can either be » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Singh Dollars or Matawang Ah Singh (asing) Or what about a Sikh's favourite telco? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Singhtel, of course! Or the Sikh who takes the little blue pill before making love, » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « RiSingh What about the Sikh girl who loves gaming? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Hard Kaur Gamer And a fashionable young Sikh living in the city is called? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « A Turbanite I'm sure you've also heard of the Cyborg Sikh who came from the future of the machines? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « The Turbanator A Sikh's favourite verse from the Bible is? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « "Sikh and you shall find" A Sikh who loves to do it with two women.... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Dual Kaur (Dual Core) A Sikh girl who is too strong in bed for her man.... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Kaur Too Kuat (Core2 Quad) A Sikh's favourite GPS map system is called? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « MalSingh maps, of course! A Sikh 'bhais' his electrical appliances invariably from... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Singher (Singer) Why do Sikhs love to shop at Giant? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Cos of their frequent Best Bhais A perverted Sikh is called a.... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Sikho (Sicko)
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xingal	Nov 9 2007, 10:57 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #216
Getting Started Junior Member 144 posts Joined: Dec 2006	QUOTE(redeye84 @ Nov 7 2007, 11:08 PM) u suck in spoilers... QUOTE(JiaWei123 @ Nov 7 2007, 11:44 PM) Yea, i do... The spoilers indeed screwed up the jokes a bit but JiaWei's reply takes the cake! Jiawei~
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SUSdgrebel	Nov 9 2007, 11:10 AM Show posts by this member only \| Post #217
Oldfag Senior Member 2,475 posts Joined: Nov 2005 From: kopitiam	haha. malsingh map
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JiaWei123	Nov 9 2007, 04:24 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #218
Getting Started Junior Member 96 posts Joined: May 2007	QUOTE(xingal @ Nov 9 2007, 11:57 AM) The spoilers indeed screwed up the jokes a bit but JiaWei's reply takes the cake! Jiawei~ Takes the cake??? Meanin g? Added on November 9, 2007, 4:28 pmWhat you call a singh with one ball?? » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Ball one singh A singh who dont like Backside (ass) » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Su pri sing (surprising) This post has been edited by JiaWei123: Nov 9 2007, 04:28 PM
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gregy	Nov 9 2007, 05:57 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #219
Casual Junior Member 411 posts Joined: Apr 2007	And then there's the self-made Sikh businessman.... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Enterprisingh A paralegal Sikh.... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Conveyansingh A Sikh who loves bums.... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Not surprisingh A Sikh girl without a husband is ..... » Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « Singhgirl This post has been edited by gregy: Nov 9 2007, 05:59 PM
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xsan	Nov 10 2007, 09:52 PM Show posts by this member only \| Post #220
Ouh Emm Gee I Can Edit This Nao Senior Member 1,020 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: Bastion Keep	finally singh jokes.. i got one.. Problems of a country: India = poverty China = population Malaysia = stupidity.. ( protest name BERSIH but ends up with non BERSIH protest)
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