Nothing is risk free. All you can do is to reduce the risk. If you know you are going into an expensive shit hole, don't go in if you have doubt.

If things look nice and OK, go in with caution.

People talk all the time, the important thing is your GF must stand with YOU. Else, move on. When you marry, two become one. So its important your future wife and yourself must think as one, that's how a marriage/relationship works, if she gets influence by simple comments made by her family, then she is not into you...vice versa.....

All the best man in making the right move.

Let me just say this, have you thought from your gf and her parents perspective? Why are they asking for a marriage? Have you tried to understand their intentions before blowing up?

Other people's parents? Even my own parents complain eh boy why you got no plan for the future? But I do just like you, just that I don't openly tell them. Humans are prone to laying judgement based on what they see, have you brought her parents to go see the house you bought? Do they know the existence of your plans? Manatau they think you're just like their daughter nvr save. Remember seeing is believing. Aunties and uncles will be aunties and uncle, it's the way they were brought up, our generation would be much better parents, that is if we don't shove ipads and tech down our kids throats.

Put aside your ego for a bit and try to understand where they are coming from. Yeah they are wrong for jumping the gun, but all humans do it and we have something called patience and tolerance to use. We can be the better person. If you have any doubts about your relationship get it sorted ASAP.

This post has been edited by siles1991: Dec 28 2016, 11:32 AM

Marriage is something to be decided by both you and your gf. Don't bend to social pressures and parent's pressures.
Ignore whoever criticize you and keep walking. All the best.

That's why I don't bother sharing my love life haha.

Don't need the drama bud

ZERO savings!!!
chip in money to deal with her repair work and save her ass countless of times for not saving and spending every month!!!
for a girl who aged 31, is danger for u..honestly

plan is not just think and execute by u only but need u and ur gfren to do it together.
if ur gfren is no willing to think a plan with u but just relay on u, forget it..
u can get a better one..

This post has been edited by bcth928: Dec 28 2016, 12:38 PM

So u are gonna dish out all the wedding expenditure urself?

looks like it since I don't have any help from any quarters.

i hate this kinds of girls, they expect the male going to foot everything,
they have zero yet they want the most lavish, grandish, once in lifetime wedding.

i can see it from at my office, my cousins even my wife friends. all spending like no tomorrow, fb full of travelling photo.

well, this is where man needed, to control their spending and make saving

If you really do plan to get married in the coming year, I would suggest u and ur gf to save some money starting now...
Communicate with her and manage the expectation...
I doubt with 60k +- 10k will able to have any sort of lavish wedding...
It really boils down to how much you guys communicate over it and manage each other's expectations...



This post has been edited by Freedom15: Dec 28 2016, 02:55 PM

during your relationship with her, had you told her what's your plan like with her in future? buy house, car, have kids bla bla bla..
its ok not to get marry if you think you are not ready..
but to wait economy to better, means no need get married? unless you have a bigger paycheck..
previously i have this issue. sort it out with my mum, gf and her parents. now when ready only commit.

2 years ain't enough??
How long do you need? 4 years? 5 years?

What do you want then? Start a fight here with me just to prove your little brother got hair? If you got nothing to add, sod off!

Exactly my point yesterday when I hentam him for his self-centeredness and arrogant attitude. Everything has to revolve around him. Perhaps he was indeed bitter and angry yesterday lending to his clouded mind and insensitive statements about the girl and her parents. Coming into LYN here to find soul mates who can validate his feelings, but instead of finding comfort, the real men here showed him what it is to be a man.

Well, that's the world for us.

Marriage is not to be rushed. Period.

Need to be ready for marriage? Yes. Financially? Yes. Moreover, need to be mature (not old).

TS - your posts indicated that you are used to make decisions by yourself, for everyone else. That is ego. Not maturity. A relationship is always 2-way. Have you discussed this with your gf? Note - I said "discuss". Not dictate.

Just my 2 cents.

seem like u already made up your mind. just leave her

The family wants your 50% quickly.
Becareful. Don't "accident".

After reading your replies,

This post has been edited by Bellelicious: Dec 28 2016, 08:23 PM

Marriage is also about the union of two families.. not only about you and gf.
Having the support of your in laws is always a positive.

As others have mentioned, try putting yourself in your gf's parents mind. It is natural for them to be concerned for their child's future well-being.

Communication is key.

Also i would advise you to consider carefully the habits and character of your future spouse. Is it in line with what you can accept for the rest of your life?
Don't go into a marriage expecting a partner will change for the better. If it does then thats a pleasant bonus.

One cannot change anothers character and behavior. That person must want to change it themselves.. then only will that change happen.

All marriages r expensive shithole. Its up to ts on how he able to handle his gf and negotiations.

As i said ts situation has big advantages because gf is asking for marriage so he got high bargain power to decide how to lower and share cost.