TS, Im not sure hows the actual situation were. But normally if the gf side wishing to speed things up. normally they would gave a helping hand right?

Maybe the signal is not strong enough coming from you that makes them a lil bit uneasy. Hey its their daughter future we talking about. Cant blame them to be cautious right?
It would make sense to re-assure your gf and her family if u were serious about this. Make them believe you not as stranger but as a soon to be family members.

This post has been edited by Sadru: Feb 2 2017, 12:56 PM

marriage is just a piece of paper. U dont need gold to get married.

Starting a family needs financial planning

all other replies are saying to take risk on marriage or wadever is coming AFTER you signed the legal stuffs and pay for all the things u have to for the marriage.

planning for the future is a must these days with all the bullshit going on for the economy. no one know what could happen. would you rather to have a broken family with all the issues that only leads to arguement/anger and get a divorce ?

these days it takes both person to sustain a healthy(mentally) family for the generation to come. my pov is if shes the one (same planning and the will to carry on as a couple/family), both of you will get tru this TOGETHER and not one who wants to take high risk of uncertain future that you might face later on.

if your gf and her family does not agree with you, well i think you already have some thoughts about it.

Its more selfish if u hold on to her u until u are 32 and then suddenly let go of her. By age 30 a women's value falls very drastically. By age 35 she can really consider living with 20 cats. Don't be cruel.

This post has been edited by ~Sherlock~: Feb 2 2017, 09:35 PM

I know. I get that. I am duty bound to do what is right.

Really kenot brain ts. If she not mind spending less bcause of ur age..why not try?

U dun need water tight concrete finanxial planning to survive. I seen people with far less income get by.

you got nothing to say just stfu. this ain't kopitiam

lemme help you understand why.

medium sized wedding 30k
renovation works for double story house to repair leaking roof and walls along with sitting up cupboards and furniture 30k to 40k
parents are divorced so I am not expecting financial help from fama like some people have the luxury of having.
there includes saving for emergency for a dad who doesn't have medical insurance.

I'm beginning to be pissed at some of the posters here who are obviously trolling or being plain assholes.

Im in the same shoes as you and I understand that you are only frustrated because you know its all your own fault, why and what happened that you are not able to provide the best for your lover, even honeymoon or travelling will already zerorize your savings.

I dont know how people are able to stay happy when live paycheck to paycheck, even better they still continue pumping out kids. Only solution is to suck it up and just accept that you did not win the lucky draw when you were born and that life sucks

Then talk to her n tell her u want small simple wedding to save cost. Sometime girl parents wull step in and help out.

Why the heck u want 30k wedding? Just go for 2 table ur family n her family or 10 table also can among very close ones. Scout restaurants now bcause people r crazy they book 1.5 yrs in advance. If u not careful u end up woth restaurant cut throat u. If she want 30k wedding she gonna hv to help.

Dun try to solve everything urself...marriage is abt both of u. Tell her that if wanna marry now hv to trim down cost.

But if she still want lavish spending n not wanna help contribute then u shld make up ur mind not to continue this rship.

Discuss financials with her now n not wait until u r married...bcause by then its too late. Its unpleasant but its a fire test to show how much both of u can be overcomers n persevere for love.

This post has been edited by Pete the great: Feb 3 2017, 08:30 AM

Communicate with her.
Do a great ceremony is just to show.
Plan your marriage expenses and leave some for a rainy day.

Depending on how flexible your gf's family is, is it possible to have the marriage first (ceremony only) then only do the reception later? there are some people who do that, though it sounds unconventional.

Usually among my friends, most want simple but if the parents insist on a grand one, the parents are normally willing to chip in (one of my friend who did hers 60k with her parents insist to chip in for it).
For mine, i saved a lot by not having course dinner but instead chose a decent buffet set. That way also the guests actually have more to chill and catch up with each other while enjoy nice atmosphere. Managed to get it done in less than 14k (include rings, venue, decors, simple gown, everything else necessary for the event). But granted i can only do that because my parents are okay with simple arrangements. Different family different way of handling.
Another friend also just have hers in cafe. No need big hoo haa but some nice food and activities to make the day sweet and lovely.

Tbh actually marriage very simple one. Most important is marriage ceremony. The rest (cake, door gifts, exorbitant decors) is optional. But there has been a lot of marketing involved + peer pressure + social media pressure that makes the costs of it crazy expensive, when money can be put to better use for the couple.

Just sharing some experiences in case these alternatives may work for you.

that's a brilliant idea. 15k can do bro. thanks for the idea. you deserve good karma for this

uh, but consult your family first la. because price highly dependent on number of people in your guest list (mine consist of our family, close friends and relatives). then sometimes parents will insist certain things must have, then need to discuss a compromise. all the best

and don't do this alone! also ask friends who done it before how they do it. your gf can definitely help on this too.

This post has been edited by Hammox: Feb 3 2017, 09:20 PM

I got married when I was 28 mate. Best decision ever. That was many years ago. I thought I wasn't ready but come to think of it...you will only be ready when u start to face it. Mine was a long distance relationship somemore so there was gap of us spending time together or getting to know each other truly well.

Btw, I dont have much help from family either. Built my own home with her from scratch. I brought her to UK for my phd and we both survived on my stipend n part time salary (pittance).

You need to love her whole heartedly to jump into marriage. The rest will take care of itself when the time comes.

Yea, totally agreed. Isn't it expected? Or ppl are just to naive ?

you already made a mistake, im scared now she's going to hurt your son
good luck TS

oh shit... from the other thread just realsied TS is now actually married with kid...

And now wife is requesting allowance 5k a month?

Pity u man.

Marry very cheap only, pay for the certificate. If they want you can do this week even. Question is they want their daughter to get married, or they want the extravaganze of a wedding?

https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/5156707

The fact that he end up marrying her in the first place boggles my mind.

If those huge red flags are already present before marriage, why still go for it?

If he proceed the marriage because he wants a trophy wife, then he has to accept that he'll have to burn money to sustain this person, he's perfectly capable of doing so, but end up complaining needing to burn money.

On the flip side, he will have a much much better life having many affairs with different girls just like his friends instead of all these BS. I don't think any rational male will see this marriage as something they would sign up for. Signed the wrong deal sir.

Would GTFO 10/10.