She is very staunch evangelical. She really want the church wedding lah. I headache lah, have to buy flowers and deco for the church. Jee Whiz, my gf think I am ATM. If I want to save money, she say I am not prepared to marry because wedding also I cannot afford.

Well try to smooth talk to her parents lah. They are willing to walk out of the wedding if they have to. My gf has threaten to walk out if I don't pay the dowry.

Yeah I wanted to give gold jewelleries but they refused.

I think this is beyond money and financial. Not that you cant afford. You are not willing to. When you are not willing, there is no point doing. I am saying this from my experience.

There is a saying of "Do not look down at a poor young man who is willing to work". If the parents can't see the potential in you, you GG. Nothing is going to come out good after the "wedding".

Dowry confirm have to give but amount can nego mar. You are the one that is wrong if u think this is optional. The thing is you and ur gf have to come with agreement first regarding the amount. If is an amount she agree then she have to stand firm in front of her parent, after all marriage is between u 2 and those money are meant u both future use.

Do face this together and not pushing her alone to nego with her parents because clearly is not working else u wont need to start this topic. Better come out an agreement with ur gf then arrange face to face discussion with her parent together. But u have to be very calm and not strain the relationship, present your point why u can only pay this much dowry and listen to their point. In the end if u still cant agree on the amount, dont say straight NO. Just say u need time to consider.

Anyway u are partly at fault for missing the dowry part and is too late now since invitation is out, deposit paid. So now is mainly nego down the dowry amount, unless her parent given a "heaven price" that is unreasonable then just cancel the wedding. Both side will lose face. But u can always make up excuse like important family member pass away so have to postpone etc.

My advice, if after the face to face and all this drama u still think ur gf is the ONE u want to married. Then just try nego down a bit and paid the amount they want. Is not worth argue for a few thousand and be labeled cheapskate or cause strain to the relationship in her family for the rest of your life.

No la it did not enrage me la, don't get me wrong.

I am grateful for your advice. Just that I don't think its practical. Sure my mum may master nego with them, but if they agree with jewellery, at the end they still not happy in their heart and they will express it to their daughter, you see.

My gf colleague joked to her that she was coming to her wedding and only want to give RM 60. I immediately tell my gf not to invite this colleague.

pity u TS.
ive been married for sometime now.
and after a couple years of marriage only my wife realize the money that she had spend on the wedding is not worthwhile at all its just money down the drain for nothing actually.

its hard to put some sense into a lady into when she went into this
"wedding zone"they somehow have gone into some sort of fairytale hollywood movies kinda zone.just try to talk to her on what is important and that is the LIFE after marriage.no point a couples of days event and suffer after that.
i think a cheap and classy wedding can be achieve if both parties can compromise.

and BTW seriously if this takes its toll on your relationship and ended your guys have to split due to this differences believe me its better for your life in the long run.you dont want to get married with someone who only sees it their way.

a lady needs to be lead and love. and perhaps now its time to start practicing your leadership skills and take charge of this situation. if your words were always emotional and confrontational plan your talks before you speak and weight the consequences of each decision.

anyway hope it`ll all ends well with a nice and lovely wedding to both of you.

If I'm your fren I wont even go to your wedding with this kinda attitude.

Yeah Wedding Zone, what a genius terminology.

I think she is into that.

Trouble is she is much younger than me, and she has that little girl in the wedding zone mentality. Just because I earn 3 times more than her, doesn't mean my money is unlimited, I trying to tell her that. but made her cry that day. So somehow I managed to make her happy again with my leadership and thum thum skills

Yeah Wedding Zone, what a genius terminology.

I think she is into that.

Trouble is she is much younger than me, and she has that little girl in the wedding zone mentality. Just because I earn 3 times more than her, doesn't mean my money is unlimited, I trying to tell her that. but made her cry that day. So somehow I managed to make her happy again with my leadership and thum thum skills

my best fren broke off the wedding over this issue. hotel already booked, deposit paid.

he couldnt make the girl understand that ...yes...he made more money than her, it doesnt mean she didnt have to contribute to the relationship/wedding. He wanted her to contribute 20/80....he could not make her understand that marriage is a PARTNERSHIP...both work together...not husband take care of wife 100%

My gf colleague joked to her that she was coming to her wedding and only want to give RM 60. I immediately tell my gf not to invite this colleague.

woah hotel expensive. He must have wanted like 50 tables?

See how first lah, if they are requesting gazillions then I got to do something serious about it.

I have a limit threshold.

But if they wanted 20/80, he should have just settled for a smaller wedding.

TS another idiot hoping to REAP reward on getting BIG return in angpow
So what if people want to gibe RM60....you should accept with open mind.

Now tell me again why no need dowry?

hahaha why not? I only invite very close close friends.

If I wanted to invite people give RM 60, I would be having 50 table wedding.

It is the right how much they wanna give but same time its also my right whom I wanna invite.

since you pointed out your right...
isn't bride parent have the right to dowry deem suitable to them as well?

since you pointed out your right...
isn't bride parent have the right to dowry deem suitable to them as well?

since you pointed out your right...
isn't bride parent have the right to dowry deem suitable to them as well?