I had to pay a symbolic dowry of rm888, my father in law gave it back as angpow. But honestly i have not heard of any of my chinese friends having to pay a dowry.

you are right, keep it as cheap as possible, in 6 months, no one will remember the wedding/dinner/ceremony....but the debt is still there.

Be responsible and firm...say you arnt a rich man...and you are being prudent and responsible, promise them that one day, when you are in better position financially, then you can provide a decent dowry

my best fren broke off the wedding over this issue. hotel already booked, deposit paid.

he couldnt make the girl understand that ...yes...he made more money than her, it doesnt mean she didnt have to contribute to the relationship/wedding. He wanted her to contribute 20/80....he could not make her understand that marriage is a PARTNERSHIP...both work together...not husband take care of wife 100%

OP...trust me..if you cant settle this money issue now...it will get worse.

My best pal now happily married to a consultant who makes alot more and doesnt expect him to settle everything.

This post has been edited by jwrx: Oct 21 2016, 06:22 PM

its not about settling for a smaller wedding...no matter what size, the expectation is that both parties contribute as per thier abilities. 1 partner earns more, then he contributes more.