she is with her parents side.

I didn't know marriage can be so expensive.

I only wanted a simple marriage but ended needing to expense for this and that. The in laws want it this way, my family want it another and my fiancée want it this way.

I try to save cost wanting a simple church and banquet but end up it becoming more complex for me. More complex for me is that I try to say it as tactful as I can to save cost, even justify to save money for future as my housing loan is coming up and I don't have a lot of disposable income left.

I think weddings are important but don't want to spend too much on it, as I more eager to invest into marriage than wedding as the wedding profits the photographers, bridal houses and restaurants.

Now I have another new conflict, the dowry. I have totally thought that it was not required afterall I am a Chinese. But now my future in laws are asking for dowry. It became a big issue and they appear not happy with me, because I was thinking of giving presents to them instead of money. This has caused tension between me and my gf.

Sigh, I am not good at communicating with people end up say things I don't mean. But I am finding it tough going to organize a wedding.

I think by the time the wedding is over, the money can buy a pesona. Bye bye $$$. If I don't spend one pesona my gf will be extremely mad at me. Sometime I wish I am born a woman, it so tough being a man.

Try talking with the parents, marriage are tough times for all races.  Tougher for us as its our money going out.

But just try talking and try meeting up half way. do your best though, you do not want to strain your relationship with your in-laws. manyak leceh.

easy for you to say.

Invitation card all send out.

You want me to cancel half way when I already paid the deposit for banquet?

Very embarrassing, I don't know how to face my office colleagues.

Divorce is expensive man. Don't play play. I wished that some one told me this at that time, or I can travel back in time to slap myself silly to tell myself.

The trouble with my gf is that she is not a very firm person and she is afraid to speak out.

So I didn't know dowry need to be paid, I thought this only apply to indian and malay weddings. She brought up the dowry issue, then I discuss with her, to be a token, some gifts. It caused a rift between us.

She later said her parents wanted dowry in $$$.

How to discuss when she keeps coming up with new things? She doesn't want to confirm everything at the beginning.

who say no need dowry for chinese....you sleeping kah?
no enough money...don't marry.

settle.

The trouble with my gf is that she is not a very firm person and she is afraid to speak out.

So I didn't know dowry need to be paid, I thought this only apply to indian and malay weddings. She brought up the dowry issue, then I discuss with her, to be a token, some gifts. It caused a rift between us.

She later said her parents wanted dowry in $$$.

How to discuss when she keeps coming up with new things? She doesn't want to confirm everything at the beginning.

That shows the lack of communication between the both of you.

No solid confirmation and yet want extravagant wedding.

Don't you have a budget before really comes into a conclusion?

Its really not about her parents but i think its about her lifestyle.

If card sent out already, now you just have to refinance your plan. Be a man and tell her NO.

Don't know how to talk to them. They are talking through her.

Haha. Man, they sounded just like my ex-wife and ex-inlaws. That is why they are ex now. Seriously. Marriage is no play. Call it off if you are not sure if this is the one. Like really. I am not joking, not trolling. Loosing face now is nothing. The suffering you take in after the wedding in terms of emotional torture is beyond words. Especially when your gf is siding her parents. She is not even on your side, not thinking for you, not on your team. Good luck.

Wow, I only had to pay 8k dowry.

For once in your GF's life, she has to be firm.  Both of you agree on a figure, let her work on her parents, then you come in, discuss, and agree.

For weddings, normally the angpow will cover, as long as your table is NOT RM2k++ per table.  Find a reasonable table cost of about 1k/table.  As long as it's KL, you should break even.

P.S. The reason I mentioned KL is because I've heard of really low low angpows in Penang, JB, and elsewhere.

well she is not that bad.

She was wonderful until wedding all the conflict come in.

I look at it more about my 3 years of relationship.

Per table is RM 1.4k

So you think will cover?

Its not in KL, its in PJ.

Wow, I only had to pay 8k dowry.

For once in your GF's life, she has to be firm.  Both of you agree on a figure, let her work on her parents, then you come in, discuss, and agree.

For weddings, normally the angpow will cover, as long as your table is NOT RM2k++ per table.  Find a reasonable table cost of about 1k/table.  As long as it's KL, you should break even.

P.S. The reason I mentioned KL is because I've heard of really low low angpows in Penang, JB, and elsewhere.

I think the only way is to cancel the banquet then save cost.

DOnt have a wedding dinner if u expect your guest to cover your cost.

When I have my wedding dinner, I'm prepared to fork out the money and will be fine even if no one give any ang pao.