The trouble with my gf is that she is not a very firm person and she is afraid to speak out.

So I didn't know dowry need to be paid, I thought this only apply to indian and malay weddings. She brought up the dowry issue, then I discuss with her, to be a token, some gifts. It caused a rift between us.

She later said her parents wanted dowry in $$$.

How to discuss when she keeps coming up with new things? She doesn't want to confirm everything at the beginning.

DOnt have a wedding dinner if u expect your guest to cover your cost.

When I have my wedding dinner, I'm prepared to fork out the money and will be fine even if no one give any ang pao.

Seriously, I refuse to disclose the dowry, already so many posters here jump the conclusion to say my gf family are money lurchers. Wah so fast and rash they jump to conclusion. There are a few that I managed to determine that they are reasonable in their responses, that's why I PM them. I can filter those that are really negative. I mean what has a divorce (one very bitter and miserable poster whom I shall not mention) got to do with my wedding preparations? For crying out loud?

To be fair, I am only talking about one occasion - the dowry. I haven't even described my gf's character, people start to call her a money grabber.  I really shake my head.

Yes she mentioned the figure, I made the comparison and determine its a fair amount.