Relationship Joke
|
|
 Jan 20 2007, 08:29 PM
Return to original view | Post
#1
|
 
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru  
|
QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 19 2007, 03:58 PM) Romantic Food ...he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"   ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
Feb 3 2007, 08:13 PM
Return to original view | Post
#2
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Feb 2 2007, 02:13 PM) Cupid at Law A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.  Waa, what a way to do business. |
|
|
Mar 30 2007, 05:22 PM
Return to original view | Post
#3
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
I love the 'symptons' description. ROFL!!!
|
|
|
Nov 20 2007, 05:33 PM
Return to original view | Post
#4
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... « All the jokes are superb but I roared with laughter at this. Took me several seconds to register but it's goooood! |
|
|
Jan 19 2008, 12:25 PM
Return to original view | Post
#5
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 8 2008, 09:10 AM) Extending the pleasure A man went to his doctor and asked him how to prolong the lovemaking experience. The doctor told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer, extending the pleasure for them and their partner. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he came up with a plan. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there, because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."  ROFL!!!QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Jan 9 2008, 11:00 AM) Blood Bank Took me a few seconds to get the joke. ROFL!!! A guy was running for an elevator and he stuck his hand in to stop the doors, and the doors opened. Inside stood a blonde. He said, "Good morning, which floor are you going to?" She responded, "3rd floor." He pushed the 3rd floor button, plus the 5th floor for himself. As the elevator started moving the gentleman struck up a conversation and asked the blonde where she was going. She said, "I'm going to the blood bank on the 3rd floor; I donate blood once a week for $10 to supplement my income." Then she asked the gentleman where he was going. He responded, "I'm going to the sperm bank on the 5th floor; I donate sperm there once a week for $50 to supplement my income". The next week the same scenario happens. He stopped the elevator doors with his hand, the doors opened and the blonde was standing inside. He smiled and greeted her and asked if she was going to the 3rd floor? The lady responded in a garbled tone (as if she had something in her mouth), "No 5th floor first."   |
|
|
Dec 18 2008, 10:43 AM
Return to original view | Post
#6
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
QUOTE(aLittleMisfit @ Dec 17 2008, 05:32 PM) Hanging Around LOL!!! Gangrene alert.A white man noticed the impressive length of the black man's pen1s at the adjacent urinal. "Sure wish I had one like your's." The black man replied "You can--just tie a string around it and hang weight on the end of the string. Put the weight down your pant leg, and you can have one like mine." The white man thanked him for the suggestion and left. Some weeks later, they met again in the lavatory. The black man asked how the project was going. "Great--I'm half way there!" "Really?" said the black man. "Yes. It's black!" |
|
|
Feb 23 2009, 11:20 AM
Return to original view | Post
#7
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
Hamsap one :
Once upon a time lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them, but he had to try. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause Nick readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and hailed as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, and with a laugh told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick. This post has been edited by chibi_tenko: Feb 23 2009, 11:24 AM |
|
|
Mar 20 2009, 11:55 AM
Return to original view | Post
#8
|
|
Senior Member
1,250 posts Joined: Oct 2006 From: Tropicalu Janguru
|
Eh, really? Congrats ya. We'll be waiting for real life relationship jokes from you
 |
| Change to: |  0.0511sec
 0.44
 7 queries
 GZIP Disabled
Time is now: 30th November 2025 - 04:31 PM |
Quote