I am more than happy to hear from women, especially wives who have experienced something similar. I get you and I agree. As I have mentioned, I have tried all of the above. We have not gone on a date in like 4 years. I have tried all kinds of things. The most we have done is lunch during workdays. Which is not romantic at all...And we are unable to leave our son anywhere as we do not have any support system. Both of our parents/inlaws are not in KL/Sel - so it has been the both of us all these while. No one to jaga our son over night. It is such a painful situation.

I have also lost count of the times I have spoken to her. The latest was like two weeks ago. I am with the hope she'd initiate something. Two weeks - nothing. And I have been quite silent and sulking. Still, she is like not bothered or just avoiding.

I am very sure , many men are going through this.
I agree, and I have been doing a lot of reading on this topic lately. The most common explanation is hormonal issue and the changes a woman goes through. But what I cannot accept is that, I am being a good husband (again not expecting brownie points here), and I have expressed many times to her that she is very attractive and I yearn for her. Recently I even suggested, let's get an air bnb during the day since baby sitter can only cover during the day time, get a nice place. Spend the day the there, and let me take some sexy photos of you. My intention is to make her feel sexy again... but again, no reaction.

Hi guys

Been married since feb 2019, we(well me actually) finally decided to want to have kids of our own.

Replying to my own old account...cant retrieve back...

Now we are expecting our first boy...22 weeks now

It is me again guys. I previously shared the challenges I was going through with my wife. And sadly, things are not much different this year. Personally I have ramped up my responsibilities in making sure I help out more with house work. However, sex is life is still non-existent. And to make it worse, she doesn't even touch me sexually, and there's absolutely no intimacy whatsoever. We do not have and deep conversations anymore. We are not going out. Nothing. No dirty talk, no jokes

And each time I ask her, she just has a defensive wall, citing tiredness, busy with work. I mean, who is not busy with work. And I do not intend to compare our workloads. Anyway, she does not initiate anything. I am actually very frustrated with all these, and I am not sure what else to. I have slowly began to understand what some men end up violating the marriage rule. We signed up for monogamy. But not for celibacy.

Our son is older now, and it is easier to manage him on our own. Although we are still sending him to the baby-sitter on the weekdays. Despite all these, she still has no mood for any husband and wife time. Next year, we will be sending our son to nursery. I can already forsee the other excuses that may come.

What should I do? Go to therapy and waste money? By the way, we're in our mid 30s, and our issues began right after having our son - only child, and wife does not want another one  

We've been together since we were teenagers. I can also confirm there's no adultery involved as both of us are working from home and hardly go out.

I really feel like I am going through some kinda of mental torture at the moment. There have been nights were I have cried to bed thinking about this. Like, why do I deserve this? It gets very lonely considering that she is the one person I love with all my heart. But deeply inside, I know I cannot live like this. I am getting older, and I do not wish to waste my life by not receiving any love from my spouse.  And the thought of separating is too painful because I do not wish to go through hell, and put my son through hell. He is too young, and innocent.

Any other dads out there who have been through this before? I will really appreciate if you guys could advise me. It's so lonely and I don't know who to talk to. I did try asking some female colleagues previously, without shedding much detail, and they just shoved it aside. Of course, siding a fellow woman. I am not sure if men even talk about this openly.

   

Congrats! It gonna be sleepless night awaiting you!

been reading and getting good info from you guys....expecting my first....10 weeks d

but my wife been looking into confinement centers and they all kasi marketing talk etc etc.....must book this month ada promo 2k / 3k etc etc

i think i can wait out until 1-2 months before deciding which center is good.....what do you guys think??

Haihz....It kinda pisses me off that women can just sweep this under the carpet. And when things go south, blame the men.

Thank you brother. I will check out Opt 1 for now. I am not gonna lie, Opt 2 has crept up into my head many, many times but I am quite reluctant. But I am not looking to pay to 'release' which is of course the easiest option. I just want love and care. Also, I am not I judging anyone. I perfectly understand why many man go for Opt 2.

I need advise to be a father. I want to have PIV with my wife but my p*nis does not get hard enough when she is very simulated. Which forum can I use in lowyat to discuss more?

I need advise to be a father. I want to have PIV with my wife but my p*nis does not get hard enough when she is very simulated. Which forum can I use in lowyat to discuss more?

need help from the fathers here....especially chinese fathers

how to choose baby chinese name....not sure where to start....cant ask my parents coz they unable to assist.

need help from the fathers here....especially chinese fathers

how to choose baby chinese name....not sure where to start....cant ask my parents coz they unable to assist.

need help from the fathers here....especially chinese fathers

how to choose baby chinese name....not sure where to start....cant ask my parents coz they unable to assist.

did any of your elders say the newborn name must include certain specific chinese characters?
did any elders say the newborn name must contain certain specific meanings?
did they asked to choose names base on the "eight numbers of birth 生辰八字"  ?
how / what type of person would you & wife want your baby to grow up become?
have you thought of going temple to ask "sifu" for opinions / suggestions if you're Buddhist?
or you can ask opinions of pastor from your church if you're christian?

for my kids, our family have the so call "family tree book 族谱", we give names to our newborn following the specific chinese characters mentioned in the book
at the same time we also refer to the suggested suitable characters according to the eight numbers of birth

Can women comment on this thread?    Anyway as a wife + mother, I understand you and your wife's situation. Maybe you need to sit her down and talk like adult and try to understand her problems. Let her talk and you don't interrupt. Then both of you come out with the solutions for the those issues. Remember compromise.

If the above matter still don't work then both you need to get sometime for a date, only 2 of you. Go for movies, dinner, shopping or a night of stay out maybe. Try to have quality time together. Normally after we have the kids we have less quality time together.

We are not you. We do not know the journey you two being through together.

But what I can know/understand is a few paragraphs you wrote above. I understand you still love your wife. But what I think is. Now you can try treat your wife as a friend or partner for now. But at the same time, you are trying to go after her to get your attention to be your girlfriend. She maybe need some sort of fresh spark that you both doing when you were young.

I'm suggesting some idea/solution. It may not work, but it worth to try. I do read a lot of women no longer feel love/sex life interest toward their husband after giving birth on Facebook mom group. Is not their fault, is because of hormone issues.

i notice from your replies, you mentioned a lot on intimacy/sexual topic.
maybe this is the main reason she's avoiding you, she could be thinking that you only wanna have sex & nothing else, could be the way you talk / do / act / expression.
some women after giving birth, she will feel her private part is not attractive anymore or became ugly, this feeling has huge impact on her self-esteem, so in the end causing her to change & become what she is today.

current condition she doesnt wanna talk / speak to you directly, you can use other methods of communication.
whatsapp messages (typing not voice record), emails, actual hand writing letters.
but avoid mention anything which can possibly lead to thinking of intimacy/sexual topic.

I agree with this part. You let us feel that we women only your sex slave and nothing else.

Try take thing naturally, like go for dating first eg movie + lunch, some massage and follow the flow. Don't make it like you purposely set it up just for that session - like you mentioned book air bnb and take sexy photos 

do you know any of her friends?
or some of her BFF?

maybe you can ask them for some advice or ask them to help with the talking?
did you discussed this issue with her parents or her siblings?
since she clearly doesnt give you any chance of communications, you have to make the talk with her closest relatives & friends
ask those people to do the communications for you
anything you wanna convey to your wife, let those people do the job for you
until one day she opens up to you then you can slowly talk with her directly