QUOTE(@lice~~ @ Sep 9 2022, 03:49 PM)
Can women comment on this thread?
Anyway as a wife + mother, I understand you and your wife's situation. Maybe you need to sit her down and talk like adult and try to understand her problems. Let her talk and you don't interrupt. Then both of you come out with the solutions for the those issues. Remember compromise.
If the above matter still don't work then both you need to get sometime for a date, only 2 of you. Go for movies, dinner, shopping or a night of stay out maybe. Try to have quality time together. Normally after we have the kids we have less quality time together.
QUOTE(NightFelix @ Sep 9 2022, 04:16 PM)
We are not you. We do not know the journey you two being through together.
But what I can know/understand is a few paragraphs you wrote above. I understand you still love your wife. But what I think is. Now you can try treat your wife as a friend or partner for now. But at the same time, you are trying to go after her to get your attention to be your girlfriend. She maybe need some sort of fresh spark that you both doing when you were young.
I'm suggesting some idea/solution. It may not work, but it worth to try. I do read a lot of women no longer feel love/sex life interest toward their husband after giving birth on Facebook mom group. Is not their fault, is because of hormone issues.
QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Sep 12 2022, 10:41 AM)
i notice from your replies, you mentioned a lot on intimacy/sexual topic.
maybe this is the main reason she's avoiding you, she could be thinking that you only wanna have sex & nothing else, could be the way you talk / do / act / expression.
some women after giving birth, she will feel her private part is not attractive anymore or became ugly, this feeling has huge impact on her self-esteem, so in the end causing her to change & become what she is today.
current condition she doesnt wanna talk / speak to you directly, you can use other methods of communication.
whatsapp messages (typing not voice record), emails, actual hand writing letters.
but avoid mention anything which can possibly lead to thinking of intimacy/sexual topic.
QUOTE(@lice~~ @ Sep 12 2022, 02:41 PM)
I agree with this part. You let us feel that we women only your sex slave and nothing else.
Try take thing naturally, like go for dating first eg movie + lunch, some massage and follow the flow. Don't make it like you purposely set it up just for that session - like you mentioned book air bnb and take sexy photos
QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Sep 14 2022, 10:10 AM)
do you know any of her friends?
or some of her BFF?
maybe you can ask them for some advice or ask them to help with the talking?
did you discussed this issue with her parents or her siblings?
since she clearly doesnt give you any chance of communications, you have to make the talk with her closest relatives & friends
ask those people to do the communications for you
anything you wanna convey to your wife, let those people do the job for you
until one day she opens up to you then you can slowly talk with her directly
To everyone who heard me, and responded to me - a million thanks. I did not have any outlet to share my feelings. Here's an update for everyone.
Things have drastically improved. I guess my patience, and persistence paid off. I feel like I have gotten back the women I loved, and married after almost 5 years. What changed?
I guess my wife finally realised that I was drained, and I am putting in a lot of effort in not only raising our child, but also with the house chores, and in providing for the family. And she was being cold for selfish reasons. She certainly took her time, and we did have a talk - like a proper talk where she finally opened up. The combination of being a career driven women, and then having a child did not sit well with her the last couple of years. However, she has come to realise that she is not only punishing herself, but also those around her.
And of course, I have been putting in more effort than before in being a husband and father. It was not a smooth journey, but it is slowly healing. Our intimacy is there and I appreciate each moment I spend with here, although it is not frequent. I have come to terms that it may not be ideal, but I am glad, and happy to have my wife back, and my family together.
The thing I learned is that, being silent, and not talking nor sharing things nor seeking help makes things worse. My wife has her regrets, but boy are we glad we stuck together. End of the day, child is our priority.
Not sure how many daddies/men have been through this, or going through this. But if you are, just talk to your fellow brothers, siblings, or trusted ones. Do not suffer alone. Society sucks as it says men should not whine, complain or cry. Seriously, screw them. Not all men are a-holes, and these good bros really need a shoulder to lean on at times.
Again, thanks to all who listened, and responded. I truly appreciate your feedback.