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yoonyin_V2 P
post Mar 16 2022, 09:14 AM

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QUOTE(quebix @ Mar 15 2022, 10:18 AM)
any side effects to be expected?
fever, sore arms etc?

my son not of age yet. he will be 5 in a few months.
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Just abit sore arms in the next day only. After that everything was okay.
steevan1000
post Jun 1 2022, 03:32 PM

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hi, i'm a single dad of 2
a boy 11y/o + a girl 8y/o
due to lack of time to educate them as i need to go for work
they have become very evil in heart
what should i do to make the change in their heart?
Yveatel
post Jun 1 2022, 05:33 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 1 2022, 03:32 PM)
hi, i'm a single dad of 2
a boy 11y/o + a girl 8y/o
due to lack of time to educate them as i need to go for work
they have become very evil in heart
what should i do to make the change in their heart?
*
I guess you already given the solution
steevan1000
post Jun 2 2022, 09:59 AM

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QUOTE(Yveatel @ Jun 1 2022, 05:33 PM)
I guess you already given the solution
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i dont understand
it's very hard to make balance for work-kids-self
Yveatel
post Jun 2 2022, 11:03 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 2 2022, 09:59 AM)
i dont understand
it's very hard to make balance for work-kids-self
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I am a father of two, and like most of us, I am working too. I do not earn 20k per month. I finish with my Master and looking forward to PhD (currently preparing my research proposal and IELTS). Besides all that, I am UN Online Volunteer, supporting a non-profit organisation from Papua New Guinea in their research paper on sustainable development. Of course, I can see my daughter throwing tantrums sometimes, and I believe I am not perfect. But at least, when I am around, in the evening I spent time with my kids gardening and walking. I always travel outstation, Johor, Sarawak, Pahang for work. The weekend is a big no-no for me to work. It is either family time, or if I am rushing on my thesis, I will work on it for a couple of hours. Sometimes, we spent time going to have a walk at the park. In my daily routine (If I am around), normally after dinner, I will prepare my kids to bed, around 9pm, my wife will let my kids sleep and I will continue on my study, personal me-time until 12pm. I try to ensure I get 6hours of sleep daily. Very rare I sleep later than 2am, and honestly, sometimes, it does happen when I did not sleep at all and straight go to the office. But it happens a couple of times. If you are wondering what is my age, I am in my mid-30s. My rule set for my family is - All meals must eat together at the same time, especially dinner. On the weekend, normally I will work on my personal stuff after breakfast with the family. For 2-3 hours after breakfast, I will work on my personal stuff. After lunch, I will spend an hour or two with my kids on their activities. Then continue on with my personal stuff again.

And yes, I do not watch TV (or netflix nowadays). I no longer watch football. You have to sacrifice something. There is never a work-life balance. It is how you juggle in between the load. When you spent time with the kids, you have to do something together with your kids. Drawing, painting, Lego, Playground, heck, I even bought some science puzzles and match them together with my kids. When I am accompanying my kids to bed, I chat with them, asking about their friends, food, schools, etc. At your kids' age, I guess they are entering teenage, getting rebellious. But you should be able to salvage your relationship with them.

I do not know how heavy your workload is, but for me, the work in the office will never end no matter what. No matter how well I perform or spent time on the reports, there will always comment and negative feedback on how they should be written. So, nowadays, I spent more time on my personal goals rather than on the company. After all, the day after I quit/die, the company will have another 100 people queuing up for my position.

Best of luck.
steevan1000
post Jun 3 2022, 09:27 AM

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QUOTE(Yveatel @ Jun 2 2022, 11:03 PM)
I am a father of two, and like most of us, I am working too. I do not earn 20k per month. I finish with my Master and looking forward to PhD (currently preparing my research proposal and IELTS).  Besides all that, I am UN Online Volunteer, supporting a non-profit organisation from Papua New Guinea in their research paper on sustainable development. Of course, I can see my daughter throwing tantrums sometimes, and I believe I am not perfect. But at least, when I am around, in the evening I spent time with my kids gardening and walking. I always travel outstation, Johor, Sarawak, Pahang for work. The weekend is a big no-no for me to work. It is either family time, or if I am rushing on my thesis, I will work on it for a couple of hours. Sometimes, we spent time going to have a walk at the park. In my daily routine (If I am around), normally after dinner, I will prepare my kids to bed, around 9pm, my wife will let my kids sleep and I will continue on my study, personal me-time until 12pm. I try to ensure I get 6hours of sleep daily. Very rare I sleep later than 2am, and honestly, sometimes, it does happen when I did not sleep at all and straight go to the office. But it happens a couple of times. If you are wondering what is my age, I am in my mid-30s. My rule set for my family is - All meals must eat together at the same time, especially dinner. On the weekend, normally I will work on my personal stuff after breakfast with the family. For 2-3 hours after breakfast, I will work on my personal stuff. After lunch, I will spend an hour or two with my kids on their activities. Then continue on with my personal stuff again.

And yes, I do not watch TV (or netflix nowadays). I no longer watch football. You have to sacrifice something. There is never a work-life balance. It is how you juggle in between the load. When you spent time with the kids, you have to do something together with your kids. Drawing, painting, Lego, Playground, heck, I even bought some science puzzles and match them together with my kids. When I am accompanying my kids to bed, I chat with them, asking about their friends, food, schools, etc. At your kids' age, I guess they are entering teenage, getting rebellious. But you should be able to salvage your relationship with them.

I do not know how heavy your workload is, but for me, the work in the office will never end no matter what. No matter how well I perform or spent time on the reports, there will always comment and negative feedback on how they should be written. So, nowadays, I spent more time on my personal goals rather than on the company. After all, the day after I quit/die, the company will have another 100 people queuing up for my position.

Best of luck.
*
as i'm a single dad, no wife around to help me with housechores & kids, i'm getting into late 30's
my earning less than 5k, everyday after work rush to tuition centre to fetch kids & reach home around 7.30pm
had to rush them settle everything & sleep by 10pm but most of the time actually get onto bed already 10.30pm
after dinner had to do some housechores & cleaning, also praying
every night sleep after 12.30am after done the laundry, wake up at 6am to rush them to school by 7.10am
monday & friday had to wake up 20 min earlier as they need be at school before 7am
previously i still manage to squeeze bit of time to workout at gym after work, but now had to stop gym as there's literally no free time after work
i hv lost interests in many things, cant find motivation in most things
Yveatel
post Jun 3 2022, 01:31 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 3 2022, 09:27 AM)
as i'm a single dad, no wife around to help me with housechores & kids, i'm getting into late 30's
my earning less than 5k, everyday after work rush to tuition centre to fetch kids & reach home around 7.30pm
had to rush them settle everything & sleep by 10pm but most of the time actually get onto bed already 10.30pm
after dinner had to do some housechores & cleaning, also praying
every night sleep after 12.30am after done the laundry, wake up at 6am to rush them to school by 7.10am
monday & friday had to wake up 20 min earlier as they need be at school before 7am
previously i still manage to squeeze bit of time to workout at gym after work, but now had to stop gym as there's literally no free time after work
i hv lost interests in many things, cant find motivation in most things
*
ok, now I see your problem. So, is there anyone in your mind to get married again? Perhaps, if you do not mind; may I suggest:

1) Doing laundry once a week, or every 2-3 days once.
2) Train your kids to help
3) Cut out tuition if it is not helping financially.
4) Meal - perhaps can do some simple meals or train them to help you cook rice. Daily can buy some additional dish. Can cook extra for tomorrow. Or kept in the fridge, tomorrow can fry rice. Housechore wise, maybe once a week cleaning?

I am sorry you have to go through alone, but stay strong. You do not lose interest in many things, it is just that fatigue sets into your mind. Try to have a break. Go to the park with your kids, spend a day on weekend having a walk and breakfast nearby. You may feel refreshed. Or you can join some classes, or clubs, or community service. By speaking to different people, you may feel relieved.
steevan1000
post Jun 3 2022, 03:49 PM

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QUOTE(Yveatel @ Jun 3 2022, 01:31 PM)
ok, now I see your problem. So, is there anyone in your mind to get married again? Perhaps, if you do not mind; may I suggest:

1) Doing laundry once a week, or every 2-3 days once.
2) Train your kids to help
3) Cut out tuition if it is not helping financially.
4) Meal - perhaps can do some simple meals or train them to help you cook rice. Daily can buy some additional dish. Can cook extra for tomorrow. Or kept in the fridge, tomorrow can fry rice. Housechore wise, maybe once a week cleaning?

I am sorry you have to go through alone, but stay strong. You do not lose interest in many things, it is just that fatigue sets into your mind. Try to have a break. Go to the park with your kids, spend a day on weekend having a walk and breakfast nearby. You may feel refreshed. Or you can join some classes, or clubs, or community service. By speaking to different people, you may feel relieved.
*
current situation, no one for me, me for no one, hints from temple sifu "maybe that someone will come after 10 years"
1. i mz do laundry everyday, kids change clean school uniforms everyday
2. i can try to train them to help only on weekends, there's no extra time on weekdays
3. tuition centre act as a daycare for me as i'm at work, after school the transport will send them to the centre for lunch & teachers there guide them on homework & studies, i do some further explanation & checking at home everynight after dinner
4. u hv a point, should make them learn some of those skills

any community park recommended for family & kids around / nearby old klang road area?
i notice they like to see animals hmm.gif any places free of entrance which get to let them see animals?

this thread seems to quiet down a lot for past few months (briefly read thru all 60+ pages)

This post has been edited by steevan1000: Jun 3 2022, 03:51 PM
Jazzer00
post Jun 4 2022, 03:42 AM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 1 2022, 03:32 PM)
hi, i'm a single dad of 2
a boy 11y/o + a girl 8y/o
due to lack of time to educate them as i need to go for work
they have become very evil in heart
what should i do to make the change in their heart?
*
QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 3 2022, 09:27 AM)
as i'm a single dad, no wife around to help me with housechores & kids, i'm getting into late 30's
my earning less than 5k, everyday after work rush to tuition centre to fetch kids & reach home around 7.30pm
had to rush them settle everything & sleep by 10pm but most of the time actually get onto bed already 10.30pm
after dinner had to do some housechores & cleaning, also praying
every night sleep after 12.30am after done the laundry, wake up at 6am to rush them to school by 7.10am
monday & friday had to wake up 20 min earlier as they need be at school before 7am
previously i still manage to squeeze bit of time to workout at gym after work, but now had to stop gym as there's literally no free time after work
i hv lost interests in many things, cant find motivation in most things
*
I think you are doing an excellent job as a single dad. back to your initial question, i think it is more of them becoming evil at heart?
I dunno what you mean by that so I cant give you any feedback because i dont understand the full picture.

I would sit them down and bash them up (kidding), but I do believe communication to tell them what they are doing wrong (you as a father to them) and what your children think?

vice versa, are they evil or acting evil because of something/? get their perspective, are they purposely doing that to put you off? i think once you can settle that evil thingy, i think it will be easier for you and them.

Yveatel
post Jun 5 2022, 12:36 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 3 2022, 03:49 PM)
current situation, no one for me, me for no one, hints from temple sifu "maybe that someone will come after 10 years"
1. i mz do laundry everyday, kids change clean school uniforms everyday
2. i can try to train them to help only on weekends, there's no extra time on weekdays
3. tuition centre act as a daycare for me as i'm at work, after school the transport will send them to the centre for lunch & teachers there guide them on homework & studies, i do some further explanation & checking at home everynight after dinner
4. u hv a point, should make them learn some of those skills

any community park recommended for family & kids around / nearby old klang road area?
i notice they like to see animals  hmm.gif  any places free of entrance which get to let them see animals?

this thread seems to quiet down a lot for past few months (briefly read thru all 60+ pages)
*
If you mean directly near Old Klang Road, I guess it is hard. But if you expand your range to further around Klang Valley, there are many places to go. I do understand financial may be a problem for you, but most of the place with animals charge a small fees such as Zoo Negara, Taman Burung, Taman Rama-Rama or Selangor Fruits Valley (Bestari Jaya). I know an Orchid Nursery at Ulu Yam do have some koi and ducks, but that is primarily for people to buy orchids. If you like dogs, Desa Park City's park, there are fish in the pond and people bring their dogs around. I am sure more dads around can tell you better.
steevan1000
post Jun 6 2022, 01:10 PM

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QUOTE(Jazzer00 @ Jun 4 2022, 03:42 AM)
I think you are doing an excellent job as a single dad. back to your initial question, i think it is more of them becoming evil at heart?
I dunno what you mean by that so I cant give you any feedback because i dont understand the full picture.

I would sit them down and bash them up (kidding), but I do believe communication to tell them what they are doing wrong (you as a father to them) and what your children think?

vice versa, are they evil or acting evil because of something/? get their perspective, are they purposely doing that to put you off? i think once you can settle that evil thingy, i think it will be easier for you and them.
*
evil i meant here include
- lying to make people around to believe they are "good" boy/girl, believe they didnt do anything wrong
- incline to amuse self by inflict some kinds of suffer on others
- like the feeling of seeing others getting in fear of something horrible/scary
- invert black & white to put blame on others
steevan1000
post Jun 6 2022, 01:11 PM

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QUOTE(Yveatel @ Jun 5 2022, 12:36 PM)
If you mean directly near Old Klang Road, I guess it is hard. But if you expand your range to further around Klang Valley, there are many places to go. I do understand financial may be a problem for you, but most of the place with animals charge a small fees such as Zoo Negara, Taman Burung, Taman Rama-Rama or Selangor Fruits Valley (Bestari Jaya). I know an Orchid Nursery at Ulu Yam do have some koi and ducks, but that is primarily for people to buy orchids. If you like dogs, Desa Park City's park, there are fish in the pond and people bring their dogs around. I am sure more dads around can tell you better.
*
seems most of those suitable places are quite far away from here hmm.gif

This post has been edited by steevan1000: Jun 6 2022, 01:12 PM
hutazi
post Jun 10 2022, 02:59 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 3 2022, 09:27 AM)
as i'm a single dad, no wife around to help me with housechores & kids, i'm getting into late 30's
my earning less than 5k, everyday after work rush to tuition centre to fetch kids & reach home around 7.30pm
had to rush them settle everything & sleep by 10pm but most of the time actually get onto bed already 10.30pm
after dinner had to do some housechores & cleaning, also praying
every night sleep after 12.30am after done the laundry, wake up at 6am to rush them to school by 7.10am
monday & friday had to wake up 20 min earlier as they need be at school before 7am
previously i still manage to squeeze bit of time to workout at gym after work, but now had to stop gym as there's literally no free time after work
i hv lost interests in many things, cant find motivation in most things
*
i just wanted to say that it seems you are doing a great job and working hard to ensure your household is running! respect bro.
steevan1000
post Jun 10 2022, 03:13 PM

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QUOTE(hutazi @ Jun 10 2022, 02:59 PM)
i just wanted to say that it seems you are doing a great job and working hard to ensure your household is running! respect bro.
*
no one around me have the same thinking as you
especially relatives
hutazi
post Jun 10 2022, 03:31 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 10 2022, 03:13 PM)
no one around me have the same thinking as you
especially relatives
*
relatives are always like that. everyone believes they can do better or they are better. just ignore and do your thing flex.gif . cant give much advice because my kiddo still small and didnt reach that rebelious age yet unsure.gif

This post has been edited by hutazi: Jun 10 2022, 03:31 PM
Yveatel
post Jun 11 2022, 02:02 PM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 10 2022, 03:13 PM)
no one around me have the same thinking as you
especially relatives
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It does not matter what you do, relatives always look down on you to boast their own ego. Ignore them. Try get those with same mindset together.
steevan1000
post Jun 11 2022, 07:43 PM

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QUOTE(Yveatel @ Jun 11 2022, 02:02 PM)
It does not matter what you do, relatives always look down on you to boast their own ego. Ignore them. Try get those with same mindset together.
*
luckily found this thread
let me know there's still some hope for a single father like me
steevan1000
post Jun 14 2022, 09:37 PM

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any recommendations on board games suitable for kids above 6 year old?
Jazzer00
post Jun 17 2022, 06:05 AM

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QUOTE(steevan1000 @ Jun 6 2022, 01:10 PM)
evil i meant here include
- lying to make people around to believe they are "good" boy/girl, believe they didnt do anything wrong
- incline to amuse self by inflict some kinds of suffer on others
- like the feeling of seeing others getting in fear of something horrible/scary
- invert black & white to put blame on others
*
In my humble and honest opinion, lying is big no no for me, i usually give my ice cream example to prove a point, saying i bring out to baskin robbins/haegan daz, in the end if i buy paddle pop will it be the same, tell ur kids not syiok kan, something like x tepati jani kan because not fulfill promise to that person, how would tat person feel? felt like got lied to right. so when say or do anything must be honest, and then when cannot say or do the thing that was promised, at least will build up courage or character to not lie and tell the truth and apologize.

but of coz each parent their own as they will know their kids in and out, well, u r their parents kan. regarding the rest, my approach is usually to show them what they are actually doing and apply it to them as they can feel what they doing/how others will feel on themselves.

as for ur board game question, MONOPOLY, GAME OF LIFE, CLUEDO idk what else is there out there these days, monopoly deal the card game i find quite fun, and KK sells a way cheaper version than the hasbro 1.


steevan1000
post Aug 8 2022, 09:21 AM

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recently i found out there's some problems with my girl
i cant certain if it's mental or psychological
normally a lil' girl of her age (8 y/o) should already has her own personalities & characteristics of a young teen girl
should know how to reject / say out loud when something made her feel annoyed / angry / dislikes
should have her own way / style / method of thinking for most of the things happening around her

but my girl seems to very lacking on all this
any fellow fatherhood have any idea ?
how should i do?

i've been telling / explaining / teaching / talking with her for long & many times
she doesnt seems to improve, still give the expression that shows she doesnt understand anything

i'm at lost here, very stress & worry of her future if this condition persist

This post has been edited by steevan1000: Aug 8 2022, 09:22 AM

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