hey i rarely post anything... but i m realy surprise that u had such a problem at this moment... i think for now u better juz let go n move on with ur life... u also know that ur relationship had been 4+years n she had call for an end... for her to call for an end n yet to have said something like tis i will say that she's already very tired with it...

for now i will suggest u to share ur problem with ur best frens who really can share ur problem with because by merely sending msg-es here like this will not be much help... it will be even better if both of u have a same good fren... then make him or her to talk to her n c wat had made her make such a decision...

not that ppl here r not willing to help u... but i will say that direct conversation can calm u down even better... it's obvious that u can put her away from your head as u guys had been for 4years so if she really had made such a decision then juz let her go... if u really want to think of her then just think of the sweet memories n juz stop there for a while n don't relate it back to the statement that she makes to u when she wan to end everything...

n for now when u thought of calling her or msg-ing her juz do it as though both of u r good frens n don remind her that u still love her a lot n u will waiting for her or wateva that reminds her of the relationship...

hopefully u guys will get back soon... if not u will still have to move on... anything i m sure everyone here is willing to help n so do i.... live on n b strong

just let it cool off 1st....
with gurls, u cant rush things...

they think too much with the emotions, not logic.
give her time.
Dont sms her. No contact.

After a few days, or weeks...say hi, how r u...be friendly...
but let her know indirectly u r still there

Jdreamer,im back adi..can ihelp in anything?

Since she's going to have her semester exam in two weeks time, Im going to stop finding her in these period. Wait until she finishes the exam. I'll try to think this all over in this time too. I don't know.. really. I wish to have her back, but when I asked her what caused her to make this decision. I asked whether its the distance, its my fault, or anything. She said.. no, its because she has changed. I asked when. She just said recently, maybe 1-2 weeks ago only.

If after two weeks, she still say the same. I might really give up... and I'll call her and maybe pray over the phone together, thanking God for all the memories, bless us with His love and give us strength to move on stronger. Something like that to end everything.. But I doubt that I can really let go like that... because maybe after 2 weeks, Im still willing to wait for her. I really dont know.

This post has been edited by jdreamer: Sep 17 2006, 08:12 AM

Be strong. Give both of you a time off. Cool down and do the things you always do with your friends. If you want to find her during her semester break, then sms her lo.. perhaps by then, the situation already changed.

I just looked at her latest photos at her friend's friendster. They were taken on the day we broke. Its really hurts.... I miss her a lot.........

Hmmm.. I dont know whether I've made the right decision. I just smsed her, and shown my caring about her. But I added "Ur not going to ignore a friend right ?" I'll support her as a friend from now on. Let everything calm down first, be it one month, one year or even longer than that. I'll try my best.

Long time never drop by here already... Hows every1?
Jdreamer... be strong and take k ok? I understand your feeling... Try not to think that much... get something else to do...
I.... also dont know what i wan to say... mayb not the right time for me to talk for now... Mayb just i dont feel like talking...
but anyway,all the best for all LDR-ians out there,i believe you can make it... dont give up easily

She just agreed that we can be friends to share ups and downs, even secrets. I guess this is enough for me now. I'll be here, waiting for her even if she has got a new guy or something. I'll be supporting her. I believe that there's a day when she realised that Im still here for her, and hopefully by then, she will be touched and turns back.

I dont mind anything, I just love her. I waited for a year for her to accept me, I went through 4 years with her, waiting for her now is nothing to me. All this just because, I still love her.

Guys, wish me good luck. Hopefully, I'll rejoin this fellowship in the future. Be it 1 year, 2 years or maybe 7 years. Just pray for us, alright ?

This post has been edited by jdreamer: Sep 17 2006, 07:42 PM

All the best and good luck to u...
If for me i will also do the same... willing to spend my whole life to wait for him... willing to continue love him eventhough he would onli treat me as a normal friend... but its more than enough for me ... bcos i still love him... So i know i will do that...
When u get some1 who u love... appreciate him/her... bcos no matter wat kind of problem... as long as you hav the love there... everything will b able to solve...
Im just missing him badly but then i know i cant disturb him cos he was working... but then there r kind of bad feeling back to me which make me think of some incident which took place last month that really make me down badly...
Dreamer... i believe she will b back to you... So lucky that she could get some1 who love her so much like u...

that's nice jdreamer... hope that u can put this down slowly for the moment... but remember don't push urself too much... there's nothing wrong for u to still miss her but don't pressure her by telling how much u miss her for the time being...

wish u good luck n all the best...

Yea, we smsed until she went to bed. It was enough for me. I wont be pushing her anymore because that was one of my wrongdoings when we're together. I guess, I'll need to grow up, and change more before I can really get back to her. I'll wait, definitely will. I dont mind anyone call me stupid or anything but I'll wait.

I've finally taken my first solid meal since that day. I was starving myself last few days not because I was trying to seek for sympathy or anything. I just had no appettite to eat, and I dont feel hungry as well. But there were twice that I almost fainted for not eating, but only drinking water.

I need the strength to be there for her, therefore I need the food.

I'll wait, no matter what.

I didnt tell her anything about waiting for her or I still love her or anything. She told me that she's stressed because of her studies, having some problems in certain subjects and stuffs. I gave her some supports, told her to be strong and be confident. I guess, thats all she needs for the moment.

It's really okie for me, if she's going to be with that guy in the future, or already been together. I do believe that there's still chance for her to turn back because she hasnt married yet right ?

I dont know whats going to happen in the future. Maybe she will be with a guy until marriage, or maybe she will turns back to me.. or something else. But for now, I'll wait. That's all that I need to do. At least, I'm relieved that she's still willing to sms with me, telling me about her.

This post has been edited by jdreamer: Sep 17 2006, 11:04 PM

no u r not stupid n u shdn't think that u r... at tis moment it is normal for u to stil think of her all the time... n it's even rare to have someone like to still support her... continue to support her from stress n pressure...

mayb she will find that u r still the one who cares her even she had hurt u... it's no surprise that u have no appetite... sometime when i quarrel with my gal n didn't get any msg from her for a few days i also will kinda of lost appetite... so rugi when go buffet to celeb fren's b'day...

anyway once again all the best...

jdreamer, seem like you r progessing well...

1st few days will be the toughest day after broke off, I rarely eat anything too for 3 consecutive days after I broke off with my ex b'coz of LDR.

Maybe the heck feeling will obsess in your mind for 1st few months but you will eventually open your mind days by days.

What u say are right...she not marry yet thus u still have chance. Maybe not now but who know what happen in future. Let the fate decide our destiny if the situation in beyond our control.

Yea, thanks.

This morning, I wake up at 6am, and I send her something like "Good morning, good luck and gambateh for ur day! Have a blessed day" and she replied that she's waiting for the bus etc. Before we broke up, it was always her who sms me first in the early morning but I decided to msg her even earlier than she used to. Hopefully, she can feel that I really decided to change and still have feeling for her indirectly.

She's not married yet, and we're still young. I may, or may not have a chance to get her back but if I dont try.. I'll never know. But one thing I know for sure, I'll wait for her.

Hey jdreamer,i wish you all the best and if i were you,i'd make the same decision to wait oso.good luck to both of you.

And one more thing that I need to learn now is to be strong. Or else, when there's this day when she got a new bf, I might not be able to take it. I'll be striked down. So, I have to learn to be tolerant, strong, everything. Try to be strong, and determined.

Thanks.

Great to hear that. Good luck to ya

hey guys, sorry for missing in action for a few days. well, things with my dear is back to normal. we talked things through and promised each others to work together to conquer our problem together.

anyway, back to jdreamer. hey, you are progressing well now. i hope you are in the good hand of good people. i dont know about others, but here are the things that i do when my ex-bf suddenly broke up with me. i was devastated at that time:

1) pamper myself - shopping, aromatherapy, vacation.
2) kept all "our" stuffs in box, but i didnt throw it. i just place it into the storeroom. as long as it's out of my view. (i'm still having it now and still using some of it, hehehe)
3) rearrange the furniture in my room, because staying in my room is so unbearable to me. i have reflection of him in every corner of my room, even on my bed.
4) talk things through with him and ask him to give both of us another chance. give him time to think about it and give a time duration for him to think about it. i gave around 1 month. during this period, we are to think our relationship over and dont bother each others. basically, see whether we really dont wanna be together liao.
5) then have his answer. for my case, he didnt give me an answer after the duration that was given.
6) then i give myself a duration for waiting for him. i gave myself 3-4 months. if during this period, he didnt come back to me, then i'm gonna move on.

FYI, i have no appetite at all for 3 months. each time i feel hungry, i try to eat, but end up feel like vomitting and indeed, i vomitted. yes, i do fall sick and all that i want is him but he refused to even come and see me (according to him, he wants me to stand up by myself without depending on him). i also have insomnia and fear of the night. i was like a walking ghost at that period (~3 months). however, i'm lucky that i have a very good friend with me who always by my side when i need her.

basically, i took around 6 months to recover. during this 6 months, my emotion change from ---> hate and blame myself --> hate and blame him --> forgive myself --> forgive him --> accept our breakup --> road to recovery. basically, during the 6 months, i almost cried everyday, however, towards the end of that 6 months, i rarely cry, except sometimes when emotion surpasses me. pain in the heart is definitely very unbearable.

when i started to forgive myself, i stopped contacting him and i asked him not to contact me up until i contact him. the reason why is because i need time to recover and not to be dependant on him. and he agreed to it. well, after some time, after i have recovered, we eventually be friends, even until now, that i have my dear now. being friend with our ex is a privelegde because we understand each others.

anyway, jdreamer, i telling you from my own experience. love yourself first, then love the others. if you couldnt love yourself and keep on torture yourself, how are you going to love others? it's ok if you wanna wait for her, but set a time limit. dont ever wait indefinitely. after the period is over, no matter what the outcome is, learn to forgive yourself and forgive her. FORGIVING is the road to recovery. if the waiting period is over and the answer is still negative, i think you ought to be secluded from her for some time in order for you to recover and let go and to accept the breakup. after you have really let go and recover, then both of you can be friends again.

at the moment, if you feel like talking things in your heart out, just say it to your friend whom you trusted. yes, as one of the forumer said, verbal communication is certainly better than online. cry if you wanna cry, laugh is you wanna laugh, PAMPER yourself and learn to FORGIVE, both you and your ex-gf. all the best, yeah.

This post has been edited by miyoko: Sep 19 2006, 12:57 PM

I actually tried my best to eat now. But seriously, after a meal, suprisingly I can stand it for one day. I just dont have the appetite to eat anymore. My friends have been comforting me and advise me to move on.. but its really difficult. Actually.. I cried every night. I just felt so lonely and sad. It's like... she wont be there anymore. Im really sick of that feeling. I tried to overcome it but its really difficult. I'll wake up every night, cant have good sleep at all.. it's really frustrating me. I wanted to rest but it's all her images in my mind once I closed my eyes.....

I cant rearrange my furnitures here. Im renting a room at my friend's house in Kuching.. I came here for studies. I've kept her stuffs away from me but I still keep her photos in my wallet. There is a corner where I can put the photos and then cover it up. I have 4 photos there but Im not going to open it up anymore. I kept the stuffs she gave me and our couple hp straps.

I dont know about the period. It's really hard for me to set a time or anything. I dont want to. I really cant do that.....