I feel for you. Been thru this in year 2000 when I was in Kuching and my love one was in KL. I'm actually from KL, I went to Kuching to work offshore. Perhaps meeting once every month is not enough.. after a year, out of nowhere, he asked for a break saying there's this new girl in his life.

That time, I'm in an even worst situation. I was offshore, middle of the sea. My friends are all in KL. I have no one to turn to. All I can do is cry myself to sleep in the dorm. I lost interest in work, and then, I decide to do what I want to do. I went to study my degree. Try to get myself as busy as possible.

The uni is the place where I met my honey. My honey is from Kuching, studying in KL. How ironic We were classmates for 2 years plus, and when we almost graduate, we confess our feelings. And we are together until now, got our own house, own living space..

Cheer up, look forward. Do what you want to do.. keep yourself busy. Who knows, there's another person nearer to you.

Dear miyoko,
Huh? What happened? Why so suddenly? I think you still can do something before it's too late right? Try to talk things out and communication is the BEST solution for your situation now. Try not to think or accuse whose wrong as this is not the right moment to do that. I believe if both of you treasure the relationship, both of you could find out ways to solve the current situation and wont so easily say the words "Break up" as breakup is not the solution but is the beginning of a sad story. Hope that both of you are ok soon.

jdreamer, i dunno about you but music helps to make me feel better, not completely well but at least it accompany when the heart is most fragile.

miyoko, mind sharing about some details? hopefully it's not something petty that place a wall among you two.

let's pray that jdreamer will get back on track soon and miyoko's relationship can be saved

I did tried with music yesterday but its the same to me. I dont know why, today seems like worse than yesterday.. Everything I do, or anything that I hear, reminded me of her. It's like everything is linked to her. The more I run, the more it hunts.

Im really sad....... I cried again this morning when I woke up. I felt so lonely.....

try checking voipstunt...
free calls for ground lines.....yeah...msia is free....UK i dont know...u can check

she's part of your life, there's no way you can't get her out of your mind right now. i suggest a vacation for yourself if time permits, we always forget how beautiful the nature are after we got so engroessed with our so called busy life.

i wonder if anyone want to come out for a gathering to accompany jdreamer

Dear jdreamer,
I was so surprised when you told us about your break up. Actually you dont need to force yourself not to think or reflash good memories between both of you last time as a 4-year relationship could not be so easily forgotten just like that.

No need to avoid them, be relax and calm. Try your best to think in different point of view: Be grateful and treasured as both of you could spend the 4-years happy moments together. Try to do some activities that you enjoy so much but might have neglected them during your coupleship. Mingle around with your friends, try to involve in more group activities.

Try to plan activities for every day so that you wont have any free time to be sad. Honestly, it's kind of useless to keep on thinking the reason she could forget easily a 4-year relationship as it wont turn back the time. As I have said before, not everyone are suitable for long distance relationship. A LDR could only work if BOTH committed to the relationship and BOTH are willing to sacrifice to make the relationship works. Do you realise that I mentioned the word BOTH for both of the ways?

Try not to always remind yourself how she could be so cruel to you or why she could fall in love for someone else. Hope that my advices could help you a bit.

I have arranged some meetings with my church mates. I'll be going to a concert with them tomorrow night, Sunday morning I'll be going to the church for service from 9 to 2pm, and then staying back to clean the church and I'll be going to play basketball with my Pastor and church mates in the evening. But today.. I still cant arrange anything. And I dont know how am I going to walk through next week...... because my mid term break starts on next Friday...... Im going to be so free to be haunted by the memories...

This post has been edited by jdreamer: Sep 15 2006, 11:22 AM

jdreamer...
dont worry...
ive been there...
me n my partner...4 years over...( we r both overseas, at the same place) but one day broke-up... the reason hurts me too....the reason that my partner told me...
then i found out the real reason...and it hurt me more....and the fact that my partner lied about the reason make it hurt even more...
the worst thing is....even though we broke-up...i can see my partner everyday....makes my pain more unbearable....(same school, same frens,can still see each other everyday)

i did felt like killing myself....esp there was nobody i can turn to....
but...life must go on....
after more than 6 months....i started to be myself again....
and after 1 and a half year....i started to love again....

dont worry jdreamer.....wounds will heal...
it just takes time...
what u shud do is...treat the wound...not make it deeper...or make a new wound...

dont go and get urself a rebound girl.....coz u arent ready for a new relationship yet...u'll feel u love her(rebound girl) but in fact it is just ur loneliness...
ull end-up hurting both of ya....

when the time comes...ull be ready to love again...

hey...maybe for me...i took about 1 and a half years to recover....maybe for someone else is longer....and maybe shorter...

time will tell....

be strong....

we r here for you...

now im happy with my new Sweetheart back home in Msia....
even though we r LDR now....

It shows...that i still can be happy after what has happened to to me...
But it taught me many things about relationships.....
Take the positive points....use it....
take out the negative points.....and leave it.....

Hope u are ok now....
it takes time to heal....
dont go and do somthing stupid to make it hurt more...to make the wound deeper...

be brave, be strong,

be urself again. cheer up!

ok, our problem starts after he started his own business and gets very busy with it. even so, he still have time to call me to check on me, but those are just very short calls. then at night, he will totally shut himself off and gets involved in his work. you see, day time, work, no communicate, night time work, also no communicate.

i understand that i have to give him time and that is what i'm doing. but you see, sometimes, when i'm really down or face problem, send sms to him, he never reply. eventually, i settle the matter myself. but sometimes, i do feel weak. when i called him, he is kind of moody and dont wanna talk much, just wanna keep the conversation short and gets involved in his work ASAP. so, i just let him be like that.

this morning, i called him and he suddenly say that he feel our gap is getting bigger. as in he's moving very much forward ahead of me. and i'm still lagging behind. lagging behind in career progress and also in my personal development and self-improvement. he said that there's a gap between both of us in those things that i said and that gap is gettin bigger and bigger. he said something which hurt me and i dont wanna say it here, and that is where when i cant hold it and i said the breakup word and he agreed.

thinking about it now, i believe i didnt say those breakup words out of anger. and thinking about it, our relationship seems to be perfect from outside but actually, lots of problem inside. we just didnt acknowledge it and leave it as it is. the moment he said that i am lagging behind, i realized that i felt pressured all the while cos i need to chase his speed and achievement. it clicked me that he seems to be trying to mold me into becoming him.

sigh... i dunno whether you guys understand what i said or not. well, the point is, it isnt a petty matter.

yeah, a vacation will do you good, jdreamer.

This post has been edited by miyoko: Sep 15 2006, 11:42 AM

Dear Miyoko,
Just ask yourself, do you satisfy with this result? Do you happy with your action? Do you feel happier and less stressed? If all the answers are yes, then that's mean you are doing the right thing. No matter what, the most important thing is you feel happy and comfortable in everything that you do. I will support whatever your decision ok.

Im flying back to Sibu on Friday night. Thats when my mid term break starts. Going to go back for a week.

Haih..Problems.Who wants them right?Now,jdreamer,words cant help you much now as its something inside your brain and heart and you misses her a lot.I need to tell you that everytime when you are alone,you'll surely thinnk about her.Its the same if you go for vacation alone or maybe worse coz she's not with you to enjoy the place.The only thing you can try now is not to be alone these days and whenever the memories pops out,you straight away do something to not think about it.You have to do something about it.I know its difficult to forget someone but you just have to try.Dont resort to drugs and stuff coz its foolish.I felt like you before and immediately drank a lot of beer till admitted to hospital and it sucked.Now,by all means,try to keep all her things she gave you and try avoiding thinking bout her k.

Miyoko,i've had more harsh words through my ears before.Not harsh exactly..Painful..I cant help much with words but i can give you words of encouragement.Everyone is buzy with their daily life,work and sorts.And when ppl like us are left alone to fend ourself and not paid much attention to,we feel sad and hurt inside.You need to know that you were a free girl before you met your guy.Jdreamer,you need to know this too.we were once all carefree people with only our friends and family with us and need not special attention from anyone to feel happy inside.I dont know how to put this but i hope you all understand that what im saying is,we have to quit feeling bad and not nice inside when we are left alone.We need to be independant and should try not to let another person cause pain to us.Im sorry if you dun understand coz i dont know how to put it.Anyway,you can find me or pm me and i'll try my best to help and advice..Or even a yamcha session or something to try talking,sharing and saying things out.Miyoko,I hope you dont take it too badly and signs of braking up.

I'll try my best............

Try to keep it controlled la k..I myself oso very 'fan' now..haih...

my mind couldnt think now. i dont know whether my decision is correct or not. i dunno whether i've said it due to anger or what. i guess i need time to think about it.

yeah, i totally understand what you said. after becoming a couple, i eventually become dependent on him while he is still being himself, not dependent on me. this is where i'm lagging behind. i'm so "fan" now.

Distance..distance...Calm down and think properly k..take more rest oso..

I told her once.. that shes the final piece of my life puzzle. It was the proudest thing that I've ever achieved in my life to have her as my gf. I used to tell her that Im not a confident guy. But then, now, to think of it.. I was overconfident that it got me. I thought we could make it through until the end but, this was what got me....

Im really disappointed.... hurted badly....

?
this thread is about ldr between jdreamer and miyoko ?