DatukNameTooLongItIs?


>I suffer from an incurable disease. Its called Datuknametoolongitis.
>
>Datuknametoolongitis is typically characterised by the sufferer's
>inability to remember people's names in full, especially that of the
>Datuks. At best the sufferer can absorb the first three syllables of
the
>name. Anything after that becomes pure gibberish.
>
>
>
>Jalan Datuk what-what-what?
>
>
>Kuching, my hometown, is a city that discriminates victims of
>Datuknametoolongitis, like me. I'm saying that because 70% of the
roads
>here are named after famous people, most of whom are Datuks, some of
>whom have unfortunately very very long names.
>
>
>Many years ago I remember studying at a Chinese Primary School along
>Pineapple Road, not too far from Palm Road. I remember a Jalan
Keretapi
>(Train Road) near Wisma Saberkas. There's even a oddly named Jalan
>Central Barat (Central West Road), which is a strange fusion of Malay
>and English words.
>
>
>
>Jalan Rambutan. One of the few old road that retained its name. No
>there's no Jalan Coconuts.
>
>
>I then travelled to Perth Australia where I stayed for eight years
>growing accustomed to road names like Hay Street where I do my
shopping,
>and James Street where there's good bubble tea, great coffee and
>fantastic pubs at night. The longest road name I've came across is
>probably Sir Charles Court Promenade, which is more of a walkway on
>campus than a road.
>
>
>And then I return to Kuching. And I experienced reverse culture shock.
>
>
>There are some changes with Kuching that I can put up with. Then there
>are some that I cannot.
>
>
>
>One road, two names. One new, one old. Kinda defeats the purpose of
>changing its name isn't it?
>
>
>Gone was Jalan Central Barat, its now Jalan Tan Sri Ong Kee Hui. Gone
>were Palm Road and Jalan Keretapi, its now Jalan Tun Ahmad Zaidi
Adruce
>.
>
>
>I have nothing against their names. I don't even know who the heck
they
>are. But I'm sure at one point or another probably they did something
so
>magnificient the city council decided to name a road after them. Then
>another. And another. And one more. Then another...
>
>
>As if remembering long and complicated names wasn't difficult enough
for
>sufferers of Datuknametoolongitis like me, I was further punished by
>having to differentiate between two almost similar road names.
>
>
>
>Two roads, similar names. But the difference is day and night.
>
>
>Its not that I didn't try remembering the names. Believe me, I tried.
>Its very difficult to know the names by heart. One trick I find very
>useful is to associate the road name with food.
>
>
>
>
>Doing so helps me remember long road names, but makes me hungry very
>easily.
>
>
>Its too bad some road names are a bit too long for me to use that
trick.
>
>
>
>
>Umm... Jalan Murtabak?
>
>
>Then they start naming the roundabouts after these famous people.
>
>
>
>Try reading them double fast without pausing.
>
>
>How bad can this get? I thought those were the worst, I have no idea.
>
>
>Until I came face to face... with The Mother of All Long Roundabout
>Names.
>
>
>
>Its not true what they said about Sarawakians living on trees you
know.
>That's not what we're famous for.
>
>
>We're famous for giving road directions to tourists.
>
>
>Angmoh tourist: "Excuse me, how do I get to the library?"
>
>
>Local Sarawakian: "Oh that's easy! >From here, go along Jalan Datuk
>Abang Abdul Rahim, turn right at Jalan Tun Abdul Rahman and drive
until
>you reach Bulatan Datuk Temenggong Abang Kipali Bin Abang Akip . Do a
3
>o'clock towards Jalan TunKU Abdul Rahman, make a left at Jalan Tun
Ahmad
>Zaidi Adruce and drive until you reach the roundabout at Bulatan Datuk
>Amar Abang Haji Suleiman Bin Haji Taha . Exit at Jalan Tun Abang Haji
>Openg, then turn left at Jalan Laksamana Cheng Ho. Soon you'll reach
>Bulatan Datuk Menteri Abang Haji Mohammad Zin Bin Haji Salleh, where
you
>should turn into Jalan Tun Datuk Patinggi Abang Haji Muhammad
Salahuddin
>until you arrive Bulatan Datuk Patinggi Abang Haji Abdillah Bin Datuk
>Bandar Abang Haji Mohammad Kassim.
>
>
>The library is just on your left. Any questions?"
>
>Angmoh tourist: "Huh?"

that how funny life would be i think, maybe they ( goverment) want us to remember all those name who serve for our country this way.... so pathetic

This post has been edited by whiteboard: Sep 15 2005, 06:29 PM

i liked the one bout samy vellu...dam funny

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who
was in charge. Each organ took a turn speaking up:

Brain: "I should be in charge because I run all body functions."


Blood: "I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain."


Stomach: "I should be in charge because I process food to the brain."


Legs: "I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go."


Eyes: "I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going."


*S*HOLE: "I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste."


All the other parts laughed and made the *S*HOLE very mad. To prove his
point, it immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way
for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.


Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief.


Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly.


Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable.


Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred.


Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body.


Day 6 - The other organs agreed to let the *S*HOLE be in charge.


The moral of the story:
No matter who you are, or how important you think you are, you
will find that it is always the *S*HOLE that is in charge.

This post has been edited by Koi_Espiritu: Sep 19 2005, 09:50 PM

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy O'Hara up in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "this is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"

"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next-door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub -- that makes eight!"

Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have a million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorrah!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right, Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."

Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy that I have sixteen thousand tanks, fourteen thousand armoured personnel carriers, and my army has increased to two million men since we last spoke."
"Bloody hell!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right, Mr. Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "We've had a look at the Geneva Convention, all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

I like the joke about Saddam Hussein. No matter how crappy the Irish is, he still found reasons for not doing war.

------ Bunuh Diri ------

Seorang anak muda duduk di sebuah bar. Dia menatap hampa pada gelas
minuman. Dia melakukan hal itu kurang lebih satu jam lamanya.Kemudian,
datanglah seorang ganster, merebut gelas minuman orang itu dengan kasar,
lalu segera meneguknya sampai habis.Dan tiba-tiba anak muda itu menangis
tersedu-sedu...
 
Gangster itu terkejut, menepuk bahunya dan berkata,"Hei, anak muda, saya
kan cuma bergurau. Mari saya belikan minuman lainnya. Saya tidak suka
melihat seorang lelaki bersikap manja seperti ini." "Bukan, bukan itu
masalahnya. Hari ini adalah hari paling malang. Pertama, aku baru saja
membuat syarikatku rugi 10 juta, boss memarahiku dan aku baru saja dipecat.
Kedua, ketika hendak pulang, kenderaanku hilang dicuri orang. Kata polis,
mereka tidak boleh buat apa-apa, Ketiga, aku terpaksa pulang naik taksi.
Tapi, dompetku tertinggal didalam taksi itu dan akhirnya hilang.Keempat,
ketika membuka pintu rumah, istriku ternyata sedang berlaku curang dengan
kawanku sendiri...
 
Dan di bar ini... aku berpikir untuk bunuh diri saja.Tapi, Anda baru saja
merebut gelas minumanku, yang telah kuisi dengan racun...
-------------------------------------------------------------------

------ Termos --------
Suatu pagi seorang gadis membawa termos singgah di sebuah kedai kopi untuk
membeli minuman sebagai bekalan kepejabatnya.
 
Gadis:"Encik, rasa-rasanya berapa cawan air boleh diisi kedalam termos
saya?"
 
Pelayan: "Saya rasa mungkin tujuh cawan."
 
Gadis: "Baiklah.....Bagi saya dua cawan teh,empat cawan kopi susu dan satu
cawan kopi tanpa gula.
 
Pelayan: aaa...?????
---------------------------------------------------

------- Orang Kampung -------
Pada satu hari Bedah dan bapanya datang ke Kuala Lumpur dan pergi ke
shopping mall... Anak beranak nie baru first time datang Kuala Lumpur, sebelum nie asyik dok memerap kat kampung...

Jalan punya jalan, akhirnya Bedah terpandang lif, lalu dia pun tanyalah bapak dia....
" Pak, itu amenda pak?"
Bapak menjawab," Entah lah nak....bapak pun baru kali ini nampak menatang tuh...."
 
Tak lama lepas tu seorang nyonya tua terbongkok-bongkok, tergigil-tergigil pergi ke dinding dan menekan butang lif tersebut.....lif pun terbuka lalu nyonya masuk ke dalam lif dan lif tertutup.....tidak lama kemudian lif terbuka...TINGGGG!!!!!

Keluarlah seorang amoi yang punyalah cun cam SHANIA TWAIN...
lantas berkatalah bapak si bedah kepada Bedah...
 
"NAK! KAU PERGI AMBIK EMAK KAMU BAWAK KEMARI,
KITA MASUKKAN DIA DALAM GUA AJAIB NIH....CEPAT
-----------------------------------------------------------------

------- Telefon ---------
Seorang ayah mempunyai anak gadis yang kerjanya menggunakan telefon. Setiap kali menerima telefon pasti anaknya itu akan berbual sampai 5 jam tanpa henti.. Entah apa yang dibualkan pun tak tahulah...

Suatu hari.. anak gadisnya menerima panggilan telefon dan bergegas mengangkatnya.. ayahnya mengeluh kerana sudah pasti 5 jam lagi baru selesai... Tapi.. Alangkah terkejutnya.. apabila anaknya itu cuma berbual selama 2 JAM bukan 5 Jam
seperti biasa...

"Tunggu sekejap.... Siapa yang talefon tu?" tanya ayahnya kehairanan..

"Tak tahu la ayah... salah Nombor! " jawab anaknya sambil tersengih..
----------------------------------------------------------

------- Penjual Roti ------
Seorang penjual roti di langgar sebuah bas. Akibatnya, dia tercampak dari motor rotinya dan masuk ke dalam longkang..
 
Sementara itu rotinya bertaburan di atas jalan.. Sambil menyapu darah yang mengalir dari kepalanya.. dia terus merintih kesakitan.
 
Tak lama kemudian datanglah pihak polis menghampirinya dan bertanya..
 
"Ada apa encik..? Ada apa ?"
 
Dengan suara yang perlahan dan dengan merintih kesakitan.. penjual roti itu berkata,

"Adaaaaaa rotii kejuuuuuuu ... Adaaaaaa rotii coklaaaattt ..."
 
Polis "?????***"
----------------------------------

This post has been edited by leinnz: Sep 21 2005, 06:07 PM

------- Jualan Murah -------Satu hari... sebuah gedung mengadakan jualan murah.. berpusu-pusu orang ramai ingin memasuki gedung tersebut... sehingga ada yang beratur seawal2nya... walaupun gedung tersebut dibuka pada waktu 8.30pg.
 
Seorang lelaki dengan selambanya berjalan menuju ke depan... malangnya sebelum sempat sampai... tiba-tiba seorang lelaki didepannya menolaknya kebelakang sambil memarahi...
 
"woi..tak nampak ke orang !! jerkahnya..
 
"Sedap..Sedap jer nak potong line orang.. "...
 
Lelaki tersebut bangun semula..dan cuba menuju kedepan semula.. malangnya dia ditumbuk sehingga terjatuh... setelah beberapa kali mencuba utk kebarisan depan... tapi tak berjaya... akhirnya dengan nada marah.. dia berkata...
 
"Ahhhhh kalau kali nie aku tak dapat gak kedepan sana... jangan harap aku nak bukakan kedai tu..!!"
 
Laaaaaaaaaa... Tokey kedai rupanyer... hehehe
kesian dia kan????
-----------------------------------------------------------

-------- Senaman -------
Che'gu Nasyor sedang mengendali kelasnya dalam aktiviti sukan di padang sekolah. Seperti biasa, Che'gu Nasyor akan menyuruh murid²nya melakukan regangan otot. Tiba di satu bahagian, dimana murid² baring dan mengankat kaki lalu menggerakkannya seperti sedang mengayuh  basikal.
 
Che'gu Nasyor asyik memerhati seorang muridnya yang pada mulanya  menggerakkan kakinya tiba² memberhentikan kakinya. Lalu Che'gu Nasyor menyergah muridnya yang bernama Man Tapah.
 
"Woiiii Man, apa sebab kau berhenti ni hah"
 
"Oh Che'gu Nasyor, basikal saya tengah turun bukit Che'gu,
sebab tu saya berhenti. Takkan nak kayuh jugak.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

------- Syurga -------
Waktu sekolah telah tamat.sebelum keluar kelas, Che'gu Nasyor telah bertanya kpd murid²nya. 
 
Che'gu : Siapa nak masuk/pergi syurga?
 
Semua murid mengangkat tangan kecuali! Man Tapah lalu Che'gu Nasyor pun berkata,
 
Che'gu : Man, kenapa awak tak nak pergi/masuk syurga?
 
Man : Mak saya kata lepas habis sekolah, terus balik
rumah.. jangan pergi  mana-mana.
---------------------------------------------------

-------- Tepung -----------------
Che'gu Nasyor sedang mengajar Bahasa Melayu dalam kelas 1 Mawar...
 
Che'gu :Man, boleh kamu buat ayat dengan menggunakan  perkataan tepong?

Man :Itu senang saja cikgu.. ayatnya ialah.... emak sedang membuat kek di  dapur.

Che'gu :Mana tepungnya??
Man :Tepong kan ke dalam kek tu.... Che'gu nie tak sekolah ke hape??
-------------------------------------------------

-------- Sembahyang ---------------------
Seperti biasa, Che'gu Nasyor nie mengajar pelajar di Sekolah Agama. Che'gu Nasyor mengajar budak tahun satu. Pada hari  tersebut, beliau mengajar bab "cara berwudhuk"  Selepas mengajar, beliau (Che'gu) selalu meminta muridnya bertanyakan  soalan jika terdapat kemusykilan.

Che'gu : Ada sesiapa hendak bertanyakan soalan?
 
Tiba² seorang anak muridnye mengangkat tangan, nama murid tu adalah Man Tapah.
 
Man : Ada Che'gu. saya ada satu kemusykilan. Boleh tak kita ambil wudhuk  dua kali?

Che'gu : Boleh, tapi kenapa sampai dua kali ambil wudhuk?

Man : Saya ambil dua kali sebab kalau saya terkentut,  wudhuk lagi satu tu boleh buat spare part!
 
Che'gu : Allahhuakbarr!!!
--------------------------------------------------

------ Educated --------
-Seorang pegembara ditangkap di orang asli di sebuah pedalaman. Mereka hendak memasak lemak gulai dan memakan daging pengembara tersebut. Tiba-tiba datang chief orang asli yang fasih berbahasa Inggeris.

Anda nampaknya berpelajaran tinggi dan mahir berbahasa inggeris... kata pengembara. "tapi Anda masih memakan daging manusia?"

"Ya.." jawab ketua orang asli itu, "tapi sekarang saya menggunakan pisau dan garpu."
------------------------------------------------

-------- Wad ---------
Ada sorang makcik kelantan nih, dia mai HKL nak carik sedara dia eksiden. Sampai  kat HKL dia tanya la sorang nurse kat situ...dalam loghat kelantan la.

"nak tupe tanyo, mana dio wad kecemase"

Nurse tu selamba jer jawab...

"wad kencing masam takde....wad kencing manis ader la"..
--------------------------------------------------------------------










This post has been edited by leinnz: Sep 21 2005, 06:05 PM

STRAIGHT-TALKING BIRDS

A woman approaches her priest and tells him: "Father, I have a
problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to
say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquires.
"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Want to have some
fun?'"
"That's terrible!" the priest exclaims. "But I have a solution to your
problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put
them with my two male parrots, whom I have taught to pray and read the
Bible. My parrots will teach you parrots to stop saying that terrible
phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
"Thank you!" the woman exclaims.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's
house. His two male parrots are holding beads and praying.
When the lady puts her two female parrots in the cage with the two
male parrots, her two say: "Hi! We're prostitutes. Want to have some
fun?"
At which one male parrot looks at the other and shouts: "Put the beads
away! Our prayers have been answered!"


>PHYSICIAN ATTRACTION

"Won't you kiss me, doctor," asks a beautiful woman.
"No, it would be against my code of ethics," says the doctor.
"Please just one kiss," begs the woman.
"It's completely out of the question," he goes on. "I shouldn't even
really be having sex with you."


>HER BODY'S A TEMPLE

Patrick O'Malley hoisted his beer and said: "Here's to spending the
rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" - and he took home the
top prize for the best toast of the night.
In bed later that night, he told his wife: "Mary, I won the prize for
the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, Paddy, what was your
toast?"
So he told her: "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in
church beside me wife."
"Oh," she said, "that is very nice, dear."
The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking partners in the
street. Mischievously, the man said: "Did you hear about your husband
winning a prize in the pub the other night for a toast about you,
Mary?"
She replied: "Aye - and I was a bit surprised. Till now, he's only
been down there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had
to pull him by the ears to make him come".


>WHO'S THE BOSS?

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.
As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed
his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on."
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
"I can't wear your trousers," she said.
"That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm
the one who wears the trousers in this relationship."
With that she flipped him her knickers and said: "Try these on."
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his
kneecaps.
"Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your knickers!"
She replied: "That's right... and that's the way it is going to stay
until your attitude changes."


>CHRISTMAS BONUS

Three dustmen are doing their last round before Christmas. The first
goes to a house, knocks and finds himself being invited in by a
stunning blonde, who takes him upstairs and gives him a good seeing
to.
Afterwards, he rushes out and brags to his two pals about it. So the
second
decides to try his luck. Sure enough, the same thing happens to him.
Finally, the dustcart driver, reckoning he's on to a sure thing, gets
out and knocks on the door. The woman answers, smiles and gives him a
fiver.
Severely disappointed, the man asks: 'How come I just get money, when
you gave my pals a proper Christmas bonus?'
'Well,' the woman replies, 'when I asked my husband about tipping you
all, he said 'Give the driver £5 - screw the other two'.'


>THE LANGUAGE BARRIER

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant
and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are
furiously masturbating.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" she says.
One of the Japanese men replies: "We are all very hungry."
The waitress asks, "So how is jerking off in this restaurant going to
help the situation?"
A second businessman replies, "Because menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST
SERVED."

>SALVATION

A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.
Man: "Hi! I am so happy to see you."
Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it
been since you've had a cigarette?"
Man: "It's been 10 years!"
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet
suit and gives the man a cigarette.
Man: "Thank you so much!"
Girl: "So tell me how long has it been since you had a drink?"
Man: "It's been 10 years!"
The girl unzips another pocket on her wet suit and comes out with a
flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: "Thank you so much. You are like a miracle!"
Girl (starting to unzip the front of her wet suit): "So tell me then,
how long has it been since you played around?"
Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in
there, too...!"
Girl

-------------------------------------------
Let us keep this thread alive

--TEKA TEKI MENGHILANGKAN BORING

S : Apa dia: ayam di luar, ikan di dalam?

J : Ikan sardin cap ayam.

S : Bebanyak tempat, dimanakah air tidak pernah cerah?

J : Ayer Hitam (Air Hitam)

S : Kalau semua binatang jadi ikan, ikan jadi apa?

J : Ikan jadi banyaklah.

S : Bebanyak ikan, ikan apa yang selalu sakit perut?

J : Ikan kembung.

S : Apa dia: bila kecik dia hitam, bila besar jadi putih?

J : Michael Jackson.

S : Bebanyak singa, singa apa yang tak makan daging?

J : Singapura.

S : Kenapa hidung lembu sentiasa berair?

J : Lembu tak tahu nak kesat hidungnya dengan tisu.

S : Burung apakah yang paling penyayang?

J : Burung belatuk... sebab dia bela atuk.

S : Lembu apakah yang selalu dicari?

J : Lembu apalagi... lembu yang hilanglah.

S : Bom apakah yang tak pernah meletup?

J : Bomba ataupun kuih bom.

J : Kereta apa yang orang tak pernah panggil kereta?

S : Teksi.

wad kencing masam, LOL

CAR IN HEAVEN

Three guys died; when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter
met them and said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because
you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you
something. Your answer will depend on what kind of car you get.
You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big!"

The first guy walks up and Peter asks the first guy, "How long
were you married?"

The first guy says, "24 years."

"Did you ever cheat on your wife?" Peter asked.

The guy said, "Yeah, 7 times, but you said I was forgiven."

Peter said, "Yeah, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto to
drive."

The second guy walks up and gets the same question from Peter
and says, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her once,
but that was our first year, so we really worked it out."

Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that; here's your Lincoln."

The third guy walked up and said, "Peter, I know what you're
going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at
another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"

Peter said, "That's what I like to hear. Here's a Jaguar!"

A little while later, the two guys with the Lincoln and the
Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk,
so they went to see what was the matter.

When they asked the guy with the Jaguar what was wrong, he said,
"I just saw my wife; she was on a skateboard!"

The Trumpeter

This trumpet player was on the phone with his agent. He was concerned that he didn't have a gig in a while. His agent tells him; "Listen, there aren't any gigs out there but I found you something". I got you a gig bagging lions. To which the trumpet player says, "What does that have to do with my playing. The agent then says "Look, the gig pays 100.00 for each lion that you bag, don't worry about playing".

At this point the trumpet player will take anything so he hangs up and flies to Africa. Not wanting to miss any practice time he takes his trumpet with him while looking for the lions. He notices a lion coming toward him and the only thing that he could think of doing is playing his horn. He starts to play a beautiful ballad. He then notices that the lion starts to get sleepy and eventually goes to sleep.

He grabs the lion, bags him and throws him in the back of his truck. He goes a little further and sees another lion. Again he plays a beautiful ballad and again the lion falls asleep. This goes on all afternoon. The trumpet player has about 99 lions in his truck when he sees another. He says "What the heck, one more won't hurt".

He starts to play his ballad and notices that the lion is not paying any attention to him so he starts to play louder. The lion starts to run toward the trumpet player. The trumpet player starts to play faster and faster but the lion keeps coming toward him. The lion jumps on the trumpet player and eats him.

One of the lions on the truck turns to another lion and says "I told you that when he gets to the deaf one the gig would be over."

A burglar broke into a house one night.

He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he
picked
up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice
echoed
from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised
himself
a vacation after the next big score then clicked the light on and began
searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he
could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching
you."

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the
source
of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam
came
to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, and then squawked, "I'm just trying to
warn
you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird
Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."

Nice!

the burglar is gonna get owned....

hey tunertoobe, watz that car on ur sig?

Esna Venere, probably Malaysia's most powerful/exclusive/expensive(RM600,000-800,000)/fastest(300km/h) car.
Inspired by Italian cars, targeted at Italians.
Trust me, It's malaysian.

Or did you mean this one?(I changed my siggy, forgot when):

If you do mean this one, this is the Koenigsegg CCR, Swedish.
For now, the world's fastest car(current speed record, 388km/h, targeted top speed, 400km/h+)

806hp!!

This post has been edited by tunertoobe: Oct 4 2005, 09:26 PM

that car next to da FP1 is..malaysian car...?
wow..itz kinda hard to..believe...

Believe it.
It's going to come out next year. Only the engine and possibly the transmission and handling package is from overseas, but the design and engineering is Malaysian.

This post has been edited by tunertoobe: Oct 5 2005, 04:48 PM