*Joke in BM

Sepuluh Sebab Cuci Motor Adalah Lebih Baik Dari Berkhalwat Bawah Tangga.

1.Cuci motor boleh dilakukan depan kawan-kawan tanpa merasa malu dan
bersalah.

2.Masa sedang asyik menggosok dada motor tak perlu tengok-tengok kiri kanan.

3.Motor tak merengek-rengek masa ia mula basah dan licin oleh sabun.

4.Boleh tangguh beberapa minit, pergi sambut telefon, makan nasi, pergi
tandas tanpa sesiapa yang tak puas hati.

5.Tak perlu pujuk-pujuk dan berjanji untuk bertanggung jawab sekiranya
hendak mula mencuci motor.

6.Lepas cuci boleh naik dan henjut-henjut serta tunggang-tunggang dalam
sebarang posisi tanpa emak atau JPJ tegur sekiranya belum dihidupkan enjin

7.Tak perlu bersusah payah mencari tempat tersembunyi, depan rumah atau di
stesyen minyak pun boleh.

8.Nak pancut air sepuas-puasnya dalam atau luar enjin tiada yang larang.

9.Nak buat setiap hari lagi digalakkan, malah dipuji oleh kawan-kawan.
Majikan tidak akan memecat anda.

10.Jika kebetulan tok kadi dan ketua kampung melintas, anda boleh menegur
dengan senang hati dan mempelawa mereka mencuci motor

Malam Pertama Pasangan muda yang sama-sama masih perawan akhirnya menikah.
Masing-masing gugup ketika menghadapi malam pertama,
namun tidak ada yang mau mengaku atau bertanya kepada pasangannya tentang apa yang harus dilakukan.
Didera kebingungan,
si pengantin lelaki bertanya kepada ayahnya "Ayah, apa yang harus saya lakukan?"
"Telanjanglah dan naik ke tempat tidur", jawab ayahnya.
Kemudian ia melakukan apa yang disarankan ayahnya.
Si pengantin perempuan terperanjat setengah mati melihat kelakuan suaminya,
ia kemudian bertanya kepada ibunya. "Telanjanglah dan ikutlah suamimu", saran ibunya.
Setelah berbaring beberapa lama, si pengantin lelaki pergi ke luar bilik dan bertanya lagi kepada ayahnya, "Apa lagi yang harus saya lakukan?"
lalu ayahnya menjawab, "Lihatlah tubuh isterimu. Kemudian masukkan bahagian tubuhmu yang paling keras ke tempat isterimu kencing!"
Beberapa saat kemudian, giliran si pengantin perempuan bertanya kepada ibunya. "Apa yang harus saya lakukan?"
Ibunya balik bertanya, "Apa yang sedang dilakukan suamimu?"
Setengah mengeluh si pengantin perempuan berkata, "Ia sedang membenamkan kepalanya ke dalam mangkuk tandas!"

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How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

This post has been edited by hyperx: Jan 11 2005, 10:53 PM

wad kencing masam, LOL