> >
> > > > Al Kisah Nama Pulau Sumatera
> > > >
> > > > Sekembalinya dari mengutip ufti dari
> > negara-negara bawah jajahannya,
> > Datuk
> > > > Lakasmana Ganesh beserta 100 hulubalang singgah
> > di sebuah pulau
> > > berhampiran
> > > > Majapahit. Pulau besar yang tiada berpenghuni
> > itu sejak zaman-berzaman
> > > > terbiar tanpa pembangunan. Seluruh pulau itu
> > dijelajahinya, tiada apa
> > pun
> > > > yang ditemui selain hutan belantara, semak samun
> > dan binatang-binatang
> > > > hutan... Sesampainya dia ke Majapahit
> > dipersembahkanlah hal ini kepada
> > > > Sultan Sri Wijaya...
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: "Tuanku, patik rasa ada elok
> > juga kalau itu pulau kita
> > > kasi
> > > > jajah sama dia?"
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Sapa ada sana?"
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: "Tara sapa"
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Apa nama itu pulau?"
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: "Tara tau"
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Sana ada orang?"
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: "Tara"
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Rumah?"
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: "Tara"
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Sign-Board?"
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: "Tara"
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Apa pun tara?"
> > > >
> > > > Datuk Laksamana: " Hutan ada la, Lain suma
> > tara..."
> > > >
> > > > Sultan: "Okey kalu itu macam kita ambil ini
> > pulau, pasal suma pun tara
> > > dekat
> > > > situ kita kasi dia nama 'SUMATARA'."
> > > >
> > > > Begitulah ceriternye asal usul nama pulau
> > sumatara yang sekarang
> > dipanggil
> > > > PULAU SUMATERA...

i dono whether tis has been posted b4, but few years back, tis joke is voted as the world's funniest joke...here goes..
one day, ah beng and ah cheng decided to go hunting in the woods. they picked their best tools and off they go.

half way hunting, ah cheng felt a pain in his chest suddenly collapsed. frantically, ah beng try to wake his fren up by slapping him...since he doesn't have any experience in first-aid techniques. he did everything he could to help his fren, lifting his legs, beat his chest, tickling him...!!!....

then, he saw his mobile phone. quickly, he dial the emergency number. he waited for a few moments, then a lady operator at the other end of the line answered his call...

"Hello, 999, how may i help u?", answered the lady operator

"Help! my fren suddenly shooting ah, he fall down woh. diden come up! i see he maybe pengsan...!!!", replied ah beng

"err, ok. first, lets make sure that he's dead", replied hte lady operator

ah beng went off for a moment, then, "BOOM!!!" the lady operator was wondering wat happen.

after a few moment, ah beng returned to his call, and replied to the lady operator...

"ok, now how ah?"

"......", lady operator

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
science has with God, the Almighty. He asks one of his new Muslim students
to stand and.....
 
Professor: You are a Muslim, aren't you, son?
 
Student : Yes, sir.
 
Prof: So you believe in God?
 
Student : Absolutely, sir.
 
Prof: Is God good?
 
Student : Sure.
 
Prof: Is God all-powerful?
 
Student : Yes.
 
Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him.
Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is
this God good then? Hmm?
 
(Student is silent.)
 
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God
good?
 
Student :Yes.
 
Prof: Is Satan good?
 
Student : No.
 
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
 
Student : From...God...
 
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
 
Student : Yes.
 
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
 
Student : Yes.
 
Prof: So who created evil?
 
(Student does not answer.)
 
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible
things exist in the world, don't they?
 
Student :Yes, sir.
 
Prof: So, who created them?
 
(Student has no answer.)
 
Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the
world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
 
Student: No, sir.
 
Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
 
Student : No , sir.
 
Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you
ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
 
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
 
Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
 
Student : Yes.
 
Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says
your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
 
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
 
Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
 
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
 
Prof: Yes.
 
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
 
Prof: Yes.
 
Student : No sir. There isn't
 
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)
 
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega
heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything
called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we
can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is
only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold.
Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of
it.
 
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)
 
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?
 
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
 
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You
can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you
have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't
it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make
darkness, darker, wouldn't you?
 
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
 
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
 
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
 
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is
life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the
concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science
can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has
never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the
opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a
substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of
it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved
from a monkey?
 
Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of
course, I do.
 
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
 
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the
argument is going.)
 
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work
and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavour, are you
not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
 
(The class is in uproar.)
 
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's
brain?
 
(The class breaks out into laughter.)
 
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain,
felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have done so. So,
according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect,
sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
 
The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable.)
 
Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
 
Student : That is it sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all
that keeps things moving & alive.
 
NB:  I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll
probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same... won't
you?...forward them to increase their knowledge...
 
Have a nice day..