RM 500 for one indian killer ...RM 500 x 2 for 2 cases...problem solved.

wHAT is Your Race?

IF u married with that girl just because u want to get married, your partner will ask many things in the relationship..so face it, everything is depend on ur future wife, whether she accept or not, if she on your side, she also will confront together with u...

this i agree...

TS, if your gf's family really expecting so much from you ... suspecting that they want the RM10K to settle the brother's school fee.
I certainly suggest you to postpone the wedding plan.
Discuss with your parents and if they ok to postpone... just go ahead to postpone it. Ask your parents coz they deserve the respect.

You are just 25yrs old and so young. You don't have to get married at this young age, forcing yourself to purge out so much $... unless you have to marry her due to some reason.
Wait for another 3-5 years, when you have more income... you probably don't feel the pain of paying more dowry.

Always remember, you only have RM30K (am I right?), and you have to keep some savings to build a young family without anyone support. You certainly cannot afford to pay RM10K dowry and expecting to settle the dinner tables. So.. just answer your gf's parent "Yeah, I am young at 25yrs old and can't afford to spend so much on wedding. Guess we have to postpone so that I can save more money."

It will sound cruel to your gf, but this is for both you and her future. You guys should not finish up the savings on the wedding and become a broke couple.

Another alternatives is telling them you pay them RM10K (cover all). They will have to settle their own tables. No roast pig, wine, or any other barang hantaran. Tell them they won't rugi from the table.. as they will collect angpao from their guests. By doing this, reduce your headache... give them the max RM10K cash.. settle all. They shouldn't be asking anything else from you.

if the sex sucks....get a refund

Im 26 married last year dec . I have a worst nightmare for downry and all the ang pao about 140 pack to give i can sleep for 3weels until the wedding is over now im in a big hole T_T

I've already spent RM50k on her rings alone. I hope they don't expect much more.

50k can cheong for at least 250 times yo. If you cheong twice a week, it will last you over 2 years. Money well spent woi.

Yeah. Well spent. I hope. lol cheong? Scared of aids la.

My wedding on 2011 n my mum asked for 5k n she used it all to buy gold for me....

5k is not a lot and your husband must be very happy

ya, initially my mum said no need.....den after some time, she changed her mind, request rm5k........

+1
Definitely... later when the gold grow in price.. surely be even more happy.

dowry by my definition is to cover the girl's side of the wedding, dress/jewellery etc etc. If you are forking that 10k, better make sure she asks nothing in return, but susahlah rite. talk easy

else like what above quote. compromise loh.

u give 5k, her family angpau she take, table either u give or she pay table.
u give 10k, all the angpau u take. tables u give .

atleast some forumers here the parents still wise, take dowry and then return to the kids. I'm so going to be dead, gf Masters.

Last time, my eldest bro take 100k Lo..
10k, can just simply take a personal loan settle la.
What so head wire..

Most importantly is the gf.
As long as gf is on your side and wisely understand that making fiance spend more during wedding = marry to a broke husband.
Then the guys' pocket will save alot. And at the same time, meaning got a smart wife who will not simply drain your money.

I attended a fren's wedding last weekend. Both side parents are from other states, but they hold the wedding in KL coz both working in KL.
We the lady frens simply bzbody and asked him during his preparation for wedding few days earlier. He is quite blur and doesn't really follow much of the tradition. As he said both parents never say anything, leaving both himself and the wife to do everything.
So there is no dowry given. He said they (wife and him) share 50:50 in a wedding pool fund. So he let his wife decide and just pay watever from this fund.
When we attended the wedding dinner, found that 30tables.. consist at least 10tables is his colleagues/friends. Wife side only mayb 5 tables. And the rest are still all his relatives.
From there I see... his wife probably spend lesser amount from the wedding pool fund compare him.. so he untung.
Parents side.. contribute probably just the wedding gift to the young couple.

This post has been edited by cc980024: Jan 25 2013, 09:56 AM

6-10k is reasonable.

just think your parents in law also need:

- banquet
- prepare gift for you both
- decorations
- etc allowances like petrol,phone

if your in laws retired or poor. where got money to do all those?
Be considerate. Unless they really use it for their own benefit.
Then feel free to wrath!

My sister just got married last 2 weeks. My parent's is quite follow our nenek moyang's culture. My brother-in-law paid rm10k for the dowry and my parents took rm8k (according to the culture, bride side cant take all the money, the other rm2k is paying back groom side for their so called pay for their properties in future). My parents use the RM8k to buy gold accessories for my sister. Hmm for me I wish my parent will not take the dowry from my husband next time, as you all said they are not selling their daughter. I just dont understand why most of the chinese family will minta the dowry...

if this is the case, it is correct. guy give the dowry,dowry is used for the wedding by the bride family side. the problem arises when the dowry is given, and the guy still have to fork out the rest of the cost also.

It seems that this dowry thing will happen to you also, as usually it will follow the similar way your sister got married. Anyway, based on your sister's experience, is confirmed that your parents is taking it just to fulfill the wedding custom, at the end the money still flow back to you... no harm to follow it, instead of trigger any unnecessary argument.
To think on the positive side, they forces the newly wed couple to fork out this lumpsum and convert it to gold for you all. Few years later, you will laugh looking at the price of the gold, and thank your parents for it.. coz if this dowry have not been converted to gold and return to you.. that money probably already spend on some fancy wedding stuff.. which is useless.