The dowry normally not enough to cover it all and the bride's family side will cover the remaining one. Unless the bride's family no need to do anything, no gold, no accessories, no fetching. The bride goes to the bridegroom's house herself, sit there ignored and waiting to be married. TS, if that happen, better just do the ROM and forget the rest. Marry is just a waste of time and money to TS.

99.99 gold is not cheap these days. 10k already depletes. 5k only, do not expect got gold rings ady. Btw, the groom also get the gold in the ends too. It just the bride's family help to buy the gold back to groom on his behalf.

This post has been edited by heinlein: Jan 30 2013, 05:35 PM

ROM alone enough liao, wedding used to be a way to announce that the couple is already married and taken.

Now with the advent of SMS and FB, no need waste so much money.

True, TS should do that and no need worry about dowry.

Im getting married soon.

I also have given dowry....not only dowry, but angpows for the grandparents, the relatives, etc. Actually before that i have to sign a dowry contract, it specifies everything, how much angpow to give (eg 4 angpows of rm500 to each grandparent, 30 angpows of rm50 to each relative, etc).

Really a killer. Then add on the gold rings, the gold bracelet, the gold necklace (jewellery gold goin for $192/g also).

really feel the pinch eh, a big dent.

You signed a dowry contract, but did you get a pre-nup to protect your investment?

My dowry is -ve, that means, I get paid instead and the balance paid by the bride's side hahaha

Tok bout going green, spending less on pointless matters should help a lot in going green, including less gong xi fa cai -.- Bottom line, baby still pops out.

Seriously, are they planning to sue you if you don't fulfill the "contract"?

is it bad if i said to my partner that i'm willing to share my money with him to pay for the dowry?and also willing to use my own money to support my own life after we get married until he got his job?currently he is in medical school and will only grad in 2years. and i myself already started working after graduated last 2 years.we both 26 this year.since this thread about dowry and marriage stuff,i think it's better if i ask here rather than creating new thread.sorry TS

This post has been edited by dafengXX: Jan 31 2013, 09:43 AM

Everyone, don't be so mad about the dowry first. Lets check some tradition practice.. the real tradition. Coincident I watch a chinese drama yesterday.. where this rich family gets married.

The guy side bring dowry and gifts to the bride's family ("ping li" in mandarin), in return the girl family have to bring tons of stuff to the guy family during wedding ("jia juang" in mandarin).
At that generation, girl family will look at how great the offering by the groom's family and at the same time the guy side will also checking out what the wife bring into the family. The "jia juang" can be as great as gold, cloths, priceless old item (gu doong), etc.. but no cash.

So during that time, all the daughter-in-law will be judge mostly based on their family background (basically depends on how much jiajuang they bring in). The more they have (richer), the more respect given. Coz this jiajuang is automatically belongs to the guy's family indirectly. Coz if the family bankrupt or even the shoo away the bride.. these items stay with the guy family.

Similar for poor family.. just the amount offer is much lesser to each other.. but the meaning still carries.

For today generation, why ppl only mention about dowry forgetting about "jia juang". Couldn't understand.. but probably the jiajuang is.. in return you get a wife who can earn salary. Instead of old generation, the wife is to be kept at home 100% under the guy family expenses.

Since we were born into this generation, if could not agree to dowry.. perhaps the guys can start asking about "jia juang" from the girl side already.

My mum told me, 60yrs back.. my elder aunty married to my uncle. Very tradition. She bring tons of cloths and clothes (dunno y just this).. and folded it in flowery pattern.. laid nicely in the closet and drawers. During wedding day, gotta open up all the drawers and closet and let the guests to view it. Ppl want to see what "jia juang" she brought.

Me Chinese, I gave RM10k in 2010. They din give a sum, but I give 10k anyways as I love my wife. Though may not b high, after married we do give them monthly around RM200 a month. CNY, birthdays, parents days, give additional. Well we do need to show appreciation once a while. I don't think the amount i give will break a leg, so just give.

Getting married is actually a very simple thing.. the culture makes it into money pit >.<

Agreed. pay the dowry first.
then before actual wedding days only bring all the traditional stuff to parent in law house. haha!

True.
it is 2 kampung problem.
Aunty Uncle each and everyone just have to advise your parent in law with one single word, then you are dead.

This post has been edited by sovietmah: Jan 31 2013, 02:50 PM

Agree. That's why my fiancee and i were like fark this! and will hold our small wedding overseas. No pointless traditions, no gatecrash no dowries etc.. not going to invite anyone but closest friends and family.

There is eternal shame and loss of dignity if didnt fulfill the contract. Also a lifetime of nagging.


But yeah, sometimes u give a dowry with whatever you can but people will still say many. Another danger is relatives, they will talk so much cock n bullshit to ur parent in law until their minds get poisoned. Eg they tell ur mom in law ask for this, ask for that, ask for the sky, ask for the earth.

Good thing is, some traditional things no need to do lah...like getting a virgin kid to pee in the bedside 'kong', or ask an old man to carry 'lepiah' some kind of big round chinese biscuit/pastry.

Depends on your income.
I think you should not give more than your 3 months income.

l would feel eternal shame and loss of dignity if l got bullied to such an agreement.
You have obviously chosen your path and I wish you a happy marriage ahead.
However, if you don't mind me prying a bit, what does your wife says about all these demands?

She said something about 'if you want to marry me, this is necessary'.

Actually the contract is a recycled one, written by her grandad for her elder sister who got married 2years earlier.

Im jus thankful there is no inflation in prices

then u also comes out a contract, 3 babies within 5 years.

quote her back 'if u want me marry u, this is necessary'