Cainis wedding really waste of money. In the end who benefit? The restaurants, the wedding photographer, the MC you hire, the wedding planner and the wedding dress designer. Its totally a mafia extortion scheme.

If I get married, I just want to drive my future waifu to putrajaya, with family, relatives and friends for the signing ceremony.

No tea ceremony and hell no stupid dinner banquet.

bro,
i have a same thinking with u , but when u really facing this, its totally a different case, you cant control due to
2 family come together...

TS, is your wife/gf problem for not helping you to negotiate with her mum.
Usually a mother will be understanding if the daughter have a real talk with her regarding your financial ability. ... problem is.. your gf did talk or not? She even thinking to help you pay out instead of negotiating.. that is "stupid".

Last time, I told my mum that my hubby only manage to save $5K and we will give all to her as dowry. For the wedding expenses, he will have to borrow from his father. Indirectly telling my mum that my hubby got no more extra $ to give. My mum understood and due to that, she even help me prepare all the angpao for open door, children, etc. And my parents pay for the girl side wedding dinner themselves.
And the cost of the jewelry my mum given me and my hubby (a ring for the son-in-law) total already cost RM4K++.
But the one of the condition my mum mention is.. the RM5K must be totally his $. I should not sponsor any. If calculate.. my mum given it back to us in other form.

TS, discuss with your gf and do a proper talk to your future MIL. I believe normal mother is not $ sucker. But of coz, if she really is $ sucker.. then forget it. 

Fyi, my wedding was 7yrs ago.. RM5K.
My younger sister wedding 5yrs ago.. RM8K.

Unless the girl parents never request in the first place. They requested RM10K actually is quite normal price.
Thats your choice, chosen chinese girl. Is the custom to pay.. unless they dun 1.

At 1st my dad ask how much my future MIL want, then MIL said " we make decision " (so call cincai )
so my dad said 5k, and my GF said add 1k more to let her mom buy stuff
and my dad agree...

the day after, my gf told me her mom want 10k... and i shocked ! 1st day said cincai, now want 10k, i called MIL asked
can deduct abit? she told me some one (neighbor or ppl she know) married get 10k... and i said,
ppl son might be CEO , im only an Executive level... cannot compare... and she giggle and said im so young... ( FYI im 25, her daughter 27 )
and i said young doesnt meant cannot do anything..

she said every thing price rise...
end up she said we talk about it after she discuss with her husband... so we end the call...

and my gf told me recently due to her brother need money for the school tuition fees,
and im more angry, where can mix 2 things together... trying to take this chance to cut throat?

end up my gf said " nvm then , u paid 5k, i will pay the rest...( from her own saving ) "

suddenly i feel like i dont understand my gf anymore... is she the one that i knew from the day start?
we been together for 3years, being honest with her in everything....

fyi, i have 30k saving
she have 14k saving

any suggestion how?
i dont want end up we married in future i ban her family from my list...

At 1st my dad ask how much my future MIL want, then MIL said " we make decision " (so call cincai )
so my dad said 5k, and my GF said add 1k more to let her mom buy stuff
and my dad agree...

the day after, my gf told me her mom want 10k... and i shocked ! 1st day said cincai, now want 10k, i called MIL asked
can deduct abit? she told me some one (neighbor or ppl she know) married get 10k... and i said,
ppl son might be CEO , im only an Executive level... cannot compare... and she giggle and said im so young... ( FYI im 25, her daughter 27 )
and i said young doesnt meant cannot do anything..

she said every thing price rise...
end up she said we talk about it after she discuss with her husband... so we end the call...

and my gf told me recently due to her brother need money for the school tuition fees,
and im more angry, where can mix 2 things together... trying to take this chance to cut throat?

end up my gf said " nvm then , u paid 5k, i will pay the rest...( from her own saving ) "

suddenly i feel like i dont understand my gf anymore... is she the one that i knew from the day start?
we been together for 3years, being honest with her in everything....

fyi, i have 30k saving
she have 14k saving

any suggestion how?
i dont want end up we married in future i ban her family from my list...

i dont want because of few year savings, finished in 1 day... and after the wedding the rest of the day is on debts...

because of this happen,
i feel like the girl i know for 3 years suddenly change... really scary...

TS, is your wife/gf problem for not helping you to negotiate with her mum.
Usually a mother will be understanding if the daughter have a real talk with her regarding your financial ability. ... problem is.. your gf did talk or not? She even thinking to help you pay out instead of negotiating.. that is "stupid".

Last time, I told my mum that my hubby only manage to save $5K and we will give all to her as dowry. For the wedding expenses, he will have to borrow from his father. Indirectly telling my mum that my hubby got no more extra $ to give. My mum understood and due to that, she even help me prepare all the angpao for open door, children, etc. And my parents pay for the girl side wedding dinner themselves.
And the cost of the jewelry my mum given me and my hubby (a ring for the son-in-law) total already cost RM4K++.
But the one of the condition my mum mention is.. the RM5K must be totally his $. I should not sponsor any. If calculate.. my mum given it back to us in other form.

TS, discuss with your gf and do a proper talk to your future MIL. I believe normal mother is not $ sucker. But of coz, if she really is $ sucker.. then forget it. 

Fyi, my wedding was 7yrs ago.. RM5K.
My younger sister wedding 5yrs ago.. RM8K.

Unless the girl parents never request in the first place. They requested RM10K actually is quite normal price.
Thats your choice, chosen chinese girl. Is the custom to pay.. unless they dun 1.

At 1st my dad ask how much my future MIL want, then MIL said " we make decision " (so call cincai )

"The custom to pay"
But I don't see women following the old "3 obedience and 4 virtues" thing eh?

Yes, tat is the thing that pulling everyone's leg.. but you guys can still decide not to marry them. Decision is still in your hand.
Is good if the gf standby you to fight off or nego the dowry part.. if she is those kind who sided her parents more than future husband, so either leave her or take it. Is still the man's call.

Yes, tat is the thing that pulling everyone's leg.. but you guys can still decide not to marry them. Decision is still in your hand.
Is good if the gf standby you to fight off or nego the dowry part.. if she is those kind who sided her parents more than future husband, so either leave her or take it. Is still the man's call.

people take 20+ years to raise their daughter, for sure have to have geh. of course the price must be reasonable la.