if the money will somehow flow back to you our wife just give it then.
most parent will flow money back to their daughter, which my in law somehow great enough to telan it.

if not, negotiate it until an amount you willing to pay, best you can is probably 6888.
take into consideration you still need to give them some tables, roasted pig, pay this and that for them later.

5k is too little bro. maybe you can negotiate to at least 6888 or 8888.

Since her family got the demand of the price, the only way to do is nego, let them know your difficulty. If u can't afford it then you should delay the process.

Her family maybe will worried for her future or scare criticize by other relative or etc. Imagine, one day ppl asked, ur daughter how much dowries? then u say 5k, then the person say " so cheap, the one who who who got 10k, ur daughter is half price oh." then how is ur feeling?

Wedding is not 2 person problem only, it involved 2 family, so her family also need spend a lot like buffet dinner, gold necklace for your wife and etc. The 10k maybe just enough to cover all those only.

Wedding is a happy ceremony, don't because of the 5k then make the things become bad. Remember! money can earn back but relationship is hard to fix.

Since the gal willing to help for the extra, then you are lucky have a understanding wife. U must understand she is the one more suffer, she is the one who in the middle, left is family ;right is husband.

Just my personal opinion.

This post has been edited by ahliang100: Jan 30 2013, 09:52 AM

My feeling is that the other parents treat daughters like properties or prostitutes.

Guys, the world does not revolve around money if you don't want it to.

Given up getting married though, too many terms and conditions from all aspect. Better be single and treat myself better.

market rate is 10k...
so your plan is a bit too low...

Discussing and having disagreements about money before the actual wedding will put a damper to the family relationship in years to come. There will be bad blood if this is not handled appropriately

Be careful when you're about to put on the ring if you're not financially stable.

Laws are changing fast to give more and more privilege to the fairer sex.

Do you know, telling your wife to stop wasting your money is considered “financial abuse” and it’s already considered as such in many countries (Australia, Sweden, Romania, Hungary, UK, France and Spain)

This post has been edited by Tyler__Durden: Jan 30 2013, 12:10 PM

Well said, but if someone someone give 1million then u only get 10k ? so cheap?
how you will act ?
basically MHO is, there's no limitation for the price, it depends on how capable is the couple are.


market rate? is there market rate for this?
or you hear someone someone get how much and someone someone get <insert amount> and u judge based on this?

some how this chinese tradition really is a shit...
if really want to do this, why dont the groom settle all the groom wedding stuff, and so the bride?

If there is one person give 1 million, then tat is special case, maybe he is millionaire or rich father's son.
But if the society rate 6k-10k as normal, then i think better we try to reach around that amount, else sure a lot bad comment will coming from relative or frens.
Yes we can't control ppl mouth, but just try to reduce the risk and reduce the problem haven happen.

for wedding dinner, depending the event location and how grand it is. some family choosing buffet lunch, skip the wedding dinner then can save a lot. But this need both side agreed.
else go back to traditional wedding dinner, that will cover by ang pow also, so maybe this part u can reduce a bit from budget.

communication is the key of the point.

Well, you can suggest that to your future wife and her family.
Basically, this thing depends on both side negotiation and to reach an understanding that both side agree.
That's why you see there are ppl being force to pay dowry, some get back repayment from the dowry, and some don't need to pay at all. Many different scenario.

If both side couldn't agree on the amount of dowry, and no one give in, is either you decide not to marry your gf. Or her parents decide not to let you marry their daughter.

Keep asking why tradition shit here won't solve your problem, unless you nego until her parents give in.. or you give in.

Cool down. It's still comes down to how much you are willing to give in the end. No one wants their own daughter's marriage ends up bad

There is NO SUCH THING AS MARKET RATE!

Totally agree.. if wanna play market rate, male always is the advantage...

i am not so sure... refering to the people around me...
what i was saying is base on more than 10 people...

"market rate" is base on majority of the people paying that amount of money right? if u are asking that...

i think 10k is fair enough to give away their daughter who they raise from small... unless your salary is below 3k... that is another story...

haha... if u want groom to settle his own stuff and the bride does the same...
then why dont u masturbate yourself to get a baby???
i am not here to insult u...
just that this is men's responsibility...
just reduce the spending for the other stuff later lor...
i think one table spare to them is good enuff ady...

If marriage is like trading, then of course there is a market rate.
Like, "Here's RM10K, your daughter is now mine. She will no longer take care of your household, but will instead take care of mine. Oh here's a cow to help you tend your field too"

A baby cost less than a wedding ceremony.

I'm sure if you post in the black market to get a willing surrogate mother, definitely someone will settle for 50k.

It's more of an legal issue of getting the father's name on the birth certificate.

Now, if you have money to grease the wheels, you can get that settled too.

This post has been edited by Tyler__Durden: Jan 30 2013, 05:20 PM

If you can give that much, just give what you afford. No need make it like trading. Why spoil wedding happiness because of money? Money can earn back, happiness can't?

Happiness can earn back what, just divorce marry divorce marry divorce marry.

Question is, why should the groom only need to pay?

Dowry is used to buy gold and other accessories for the bride. The property itself will end up becomes the guy. Besides that, it will use to buy wife cake (老婆饼) to all the guests that arrive for the wedding. Renovation for the wife room for the bridegroom to fetch the wife, that room itself will be a place for the couples to rest feet when come back for dinner on special occasion.

Still, why did the groom only have to pay?

Besides, from the looks of it, only the bride get happiness.

What about the groom?

This post has been edited by Tyler__Durden: Jan 30 2013, 05:28 PM