TS, is your wife/gf problem for not helping you to negotiate with her mum.
Usually a mother will be understanding if the daughter have a real talk with her regarding your financial ability. ... problem is.. your gf did talk or not? She even thinking to help you pay out instead of negotiating.. that is "stupid".

Last time, I told my mum that my hubby only manage to save $5K and we will give all to her as dowry. For the wedding expenses, he will have to borrow from his father. Indirectly telling my mum that my hubby got no more extra $ to give. My mum understood and due to that, she even help me prepare all the angpao for open door, children, etc. And my parents pay for the girl side wedding dinner themselves.
And the cost of the jewelry my mum given me and my hubby (a ring for the son-in-law) total already cost RM4K++.
But the one of the condition my mum mention is.. the RM5K must be totally his $. I should not sponsor any. If calculate.. my mum given it back to us in other form.

TS, discuss with your gf and do a proper talk to your future MIL. I believe normal mother is not $ sucker. But of coz, if she really is $ sucker.. then forget it. 

Fyi, my wedding was 7yrs ago.. RM5K.
My younger sister wedding 5yrs ago.. RM8K.

Unless the girl parents never request in the first place. They requested RM10K actually is quite normal price.
Thats your choice, chosen chinese girl. Is the custom to pay.. unless they dun 1.

Yes, tat is the thing that pulling everyone's leg.. but you guys can still decide not to marry them. Decision is still in your hand.
Is good if the gf standby you to fight off or nego the dowry part.. if she is those kind who sided her parents more than future husband, so either leave her or take it. Is still the man's call.

people take 20+ years to raise their daughter, for sure have to have geh. of course the price must be reasonable la.

this is why, when the son got grandchildren that time follow the son's surname lo 

wah so expensive. i got married last year, chinese ceremony going to be this year. my mom asked for RM99 only  , same amount she got when she got married and same amount my sis in law got from my parents when she married my brother.