The Big Chief of a Red Indian tribe noticed he was having problems producing manly farts. This disturbed him greatly as he felt a great leader should fart well. He instructs his little tribe boy to walk 20 miles to the nearest doctor, in search of a remedy, so the little boy nods his head and begins his hike. He arrives at the doctors and explains

Little Boy: "Big Chief, No Fart"
Doctor: "No problem, take this can of beans and male sure he finishes the lot, if it doesn't work, see me tommorow"

Off the boy goes, passes on the doctors instructions to the chief and goes to bed. The next morning he is woken to be informed the can of beans have worked to no avail. The chief, still unable to produce a single fart sends his boy on an errand once again

Little Boy: "Doctor Doctor. Big Chief, No fart"
Doctor: "Here's 10 cans of beans, if they dont work, you know what to do"

Once again the chief has not farted a single time after consuming the beans so sends his boy for help.

Little Boy: "Big Chief, No Fart"
Doctor: "Take this crate containing 1000 cans of the finest beans, if this doesn't work, nothing will"

Off the boy went with the huge quantity of canned beans... The next day however, the little boy turns up at his office

Doctor: "Dont tell me he couldn't get a single fart?! Whats the problem now?"
With a worried and urgent look on his face, the boy replied "BIG FART, NO CHIEF"

hahahaha
nice 1 nice 1

but uh.... how the boy carry all 1000 cans over 20miles? hahhaa kesian dia

lemme help

A workmate of mine recently got divorced and I've noticed he gets upset every time he sees the family picture I've got on my desk.

I think he misses them.

i cant brain tis

lol what an *******

he sory of farted until he flew away

A man and a woman walk into a bank and ask to see the manager.

They are ushered in and the manager, despite his professionalism, can hardly keep his eyes off the bulging cleavage and perfect curves of the woman.

"Mr Wilson" says the man, "I have an investment proposition that needs $100,000. I presume, as I bank here, that will be no problem?"

Smugly the bank manager replies, "In banking, one should never assume Sir. I will need to ask a few questions and run a few checks."

"Here's the deal." says the man, leaning forward. "No questions. No checks. $100,000 today and I will let you have my wife for one night and one night only to do whatever you want. And she is very.. adventurous."

Once again Mr Wilson mentally undresses the woman, licks his lips, loosens his tie and becomes flustered. After a few moments he buzzes in his secretary and they draw up the paperwork. He arranges to bring the money to the executive suite of the Radisson hotel at 7 o'clock that evening.

At ten to seven, Mr Wilson nervously enters the hotel lobby and takes the lift to the 17th floor. He knocks shyly on the door of the suite and it is answered by the woman in a low cut short red dress and heels.

"Mr Wilson" she purrs. "Have you got the money?"

The bank manager shakily hands her an envelope.

She smiles. "Then come in."

He follows the woman into the room and stops in shock. Lying on the bed is a hideously ugly woman in faded grey underwear eating a pie. She lies in a provocative pose showing unshaven armpits and bikini line.

The man is sitting in an armchair with a glass of Scotch.

"What's this?!" stutters the bank manager.

"My wife" says the man. "In banking, Mr Wilson, one should never assume."

boohoo.... saw it coming

I just finished masturbating under the sheet.

I hope the barber didn't notice.

An old Chinese tailor uncle is sitting in the lockup at Jalan Bandar police station. He's got a bruised eye. I asked what happened.

"This American lady, she come to my shop to make cheong sam. When measuring how high the slit on the cheongsam skirt, she kept saying "More high, more high". So I MOR la!"

hahahhahahahh mo hai hahahahhaha

i dunt understanded liao

Lol... However the lady should have been a local, cos no American will say "More high". Only a local uneducated girl will say that.

don't worry, this is joke logic, no need to follow real logic one


^
this.

Today is International Women's Day.
It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready.

I was stopped by a woman in the street doing a survey.

She asked, "Can you tell me your favourite memory, as a child?"

"Yes, it was anal sex with a prostitute." I said in my best child's voice.

My wife opened the front door to find the rose petals I'd sprinkled on the floor.

They led her down the hallway, into the lounge, round the sofa, back out again and into the kitchen. From there she followed the petals into the dining room, where she did a couple of laps around the dining table.

Confused by now, she was then led back into the hallway, up the stairs, and eventually into our bedroom, where I was waiting naked on the bed.

"I don't know what all that was about," she said, "but it's still a nice surprise."

She then took her clothes off and joined me in bed. My plan had worked perfectly.

I wasn't sure what time she'd be home, so while she was wandering around the house, my girlfriend managed to get dressed and sneak out unnoticed.

sneaky....

"I've got a boyfriend," is a girl's way of saying f*ck off and leave me alone.

"I've got a girlfriend," is a boy's way of proposing a threesome.