i know this is not a relationship joke... but post too...

Go onto google maps
Get directions from japan to china
Look at instruction 43..

Now tell me that isnt cool!

A Gay bloke is sat in the Undertaker's Office crying his Eye's out Hhe has just lost his Partner.

The Undertaker ask's the usual question's,such as preferences on Burial or Cremation.The Grieving fella,through his tears,insists on having his dead boyfriend 'cut into chunks and cooked up into a ring stinging red-hot curry'.

The Undertaker explains to the Bereaved bloke that this would be highly illegal and that Burial or Cremation really are the only services available.

the Puff still insists on the curry. He insist's on this for some time before The Undertaker finally ask's why he would want to eat his dead Partner in a hot and spicy Curry, to which the Gay fella replies....

'I just wanna....feel him dribble out of my arse...just one last time'..

During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French were soundly beaten in, the French just happened to capture a British Major.
An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why do you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you."
The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said, "That is a very good idea,"

The general turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."

Some of the jokes are not related to relationship joke already. =/

cannot
relationship jokes only pls

this IS my thread, stfu
---------------------------

After a trip abroad, a lady inquired of her maid:

"Lucy, do you and your husband quarrel now the same as you used to?"
"No, indeed, ma'am," was the reply.
"That is good. I'm sure you're very glad of it, aren't you?"
"I surely am!"
"What caused you to stop quarreling, Lucy?" the lady asked.

The explanation was simple and sufficient:
"He died."

Why so f**king serious?

If butthurt GTFO somewhere and remove the filing cabinet!

I was just looking at my house on Google Streetview and I saw my wife through the window in the front room, shagging the milkman.

It was only after I'd bludgeoned her to death that I realised that the image was two years old.

When I used to be a milkman.

I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping. I took my girlfriend into 8 different pubs without a drink, and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.

^lol praised the mom stabbed wife

I don't understand that.....what use finger to drive legs 

drive up thigh, and that where the "accident" happen...in the tunnel!
Fire in the hole!!! time to put out some fire...

er..?

Edward Cullen and his two vampire friends walk into a vampire bar.

The first vampire friend orders a "Blood screwdriver",
The second friend orders a "Blood on the rocks",

Then Edward asks the bartender for a cup of boiling water,
"Just a boiling water" says the confused barman
"yes please" says Edward
Still confused the bartender obliges and gets Edward his water

After his water arrives, Edward reaches down his pants, pulls a tampon out of his vagina and starts dipping it in the cup and says, "I'm making tea"

to understand the real "gender" of the actor

to understand the real "gender" of the actor

Thai girls supposed to be nong poys.

Why is Prince William balding ?
bcoz he's not Harry