There are 3 things in life that are certain -

Death,

Taxes,

and that if you load up Windows Media Player and the volume control is set right down to 2 or 5 out of 100, it means that the last person on there was watching porn.

Why don't African children hang up stockings for Santa Claus?

They don't believe in fat people.

good jokes here...
It took me 2 hours to finish all 16 pages..never lol'ed so hard...

A: Do u have friends ??
B: yes , i have all ten seasons . forerverarone.jpeg

As the police put the handcuffs on me, my mother said, "Dan, I've failed you as a mother."

"Mum, my name is Dave."

I was stood at the bar last night, when this girl came up beside me.
Looking her up and down, I said, "If I could rearrange the alphabet..."
"Let me guess," she said, "you'd put U and I together?"
I said, "No, I'd put U at the back of the Q."

Come on...

*facepalm* not literally a queue..
He means the girl is pretty, but there's also other girls there..
And he just wanted to reply to the 'I put U n I together' with something new..

I said, "Well when I was stood next to her at the urinal I could have sworn she had a f*cking Adams apple"

This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier,

"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the Milkman" He confided,

"What? That fat ugly f*cker I see every morning outside your house?"

"Yes" He laughed, cheering up,

"Why would Dave the milkman want to shag that?"...

My wife said, "Thank f*ck that's over and done with for another year!"

As I rolled off her.

My missus dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled "You're being charged for being good in bed..."

After 2 minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.

So I'm with this smoking hot chick the other day. She's lying there naked in front of me. Perfect tits, arse cheeks like fresh peaches. She's trying to act cool, like she's not interested in me, but it gets to the point where i just can't take it anymore.

So I whip out my c*ck and start masturbating furiously. Before I know it she's leapt up from the table, picked up her clothes and stormed out of the room.

"Oh f*cking well done!" says the guy next to me. "What are we supposed to draw now?!!"

but uh.... how the boy carry all 1000 cans over 20miles? hahhaa kesian dia

Lol... However the lady should have been a local, cos no American will say "More high". Only a local uneducated girl will say that.

"Not everyone pays."

i don't quite get it...

but not sure about the drawer fall down part if it has meaning at all

and then we're dissecting the joke.
which shows it's a bad joke.

however doing have to use the term blogwhoring...

Rocky(shouting back): Of course, whats the point of f***ing one?

A black guy goes home and tells his mom 'I've got the biggest d*ck in 3rd grade. Is it because I'm black? '
His mom replied 'No, it's coz you're 19 *'

My wife came home from work smiling from ear to ear.
She had explained to me that 2 indian gentlemen held the door open for her and bowed as she was leaving like she was some kind of royalty.
What she fails to realise, is that they see cows as sacred animals.