any1 can explain?

the husband wanna say her wife got flat breast as pancake..

hahaha I kena

It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys.

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty.

objection! Ur wrong.

The boss just asked, "Do you think you can come in on Saturday this week? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here."

"Yeah, no problem. I'll probably be late though as the public transport is bad on weekends." Answered the Gen-Y.

"Okay, when do you think you'll get here then?"

"Monday."

A guy and a girl were planning on going on a date to a new restaurant.

The girl got ready and waited for her date to come pick her up. She waited for almost an hour and realised she got stood up. So she took off all her makeup and put up her hair in a bun. She slipped into her pyjamas, made some popcorn, and watched tv.

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang, and sure enough it was the guy coming to pick her up.
He looked her up and down and said,

"Really? I'm an hour late and you're STILL not ready!?"

Three girlfriends are talking about their partners.

"Every time I stroke Frank's balls they're freezing cold," says Sandra.

"Wow, same for me," says Angie. "Every time I stroke Dave's balls they're practically frozen."

Susie says very little the whole evening, but when they all meet up a week later she's wearing large sunglasses to hide a black eye.

"What happened to you?" asks Sandra.

"I wish I knew," says Susie. "All I did was ask my Bob why his balls were as cold as Frank's and Dave's ..."

hahahahaha

A policeman pulled a man over and as he approached the window he immediately drew his gun and screamed "Where's the little girl!"

The man said, "What little girl?!"

The officer aimed his gun and yelled again, "SHOW ME THE LITTLE GIRL!"

The man now in tears, said, "I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW!"

The officer smiled and said, "...There's the little girl."

Lol trollpolice

hahahahaha troll police

I came home from the pub drunk last night and went straight to bed. As I started to get undressed I noticed a man outside rummaging around in my car.

"Oi!" I shouted from the bedroom window.

He said, "What?"

I said, "You've got 10 seconds to get the f*ck away from my car before I call the police."

He said, "You've got 5 seconds to get the f*ck out of my house before I break your legs."

My girlfriend asked to marry me today.

I understand now why it's called a leap year, as I prepare to jump off this building.

'Daddy, what's a blow job?'' Ted's Daughter asks.

Ted was Absolutely disgusted and answered, ''None of your business!''.

''Fine I'll ask mum!''. She said...

Through the laughter, Ted said, ''Haha, Go for it..She doesn't know what it is either!''.

Last night my son shouted downstairs, "Dad! My tooth has just fallen out into my drink."

"That's great, son" I said, "Put it under your pillow and see what happens."

A few seconds later he shouted, "Nothing's happened dad, now my bed is completely soaked."

I can't wait for tomorrow.

It's come to work in a bra and knickers day.

Well, that's what we've told the interns.

lolz priceless

"Are you a cup 1/2 full or 1/2 empty man?" She asks.
"An optimist sees it as 1/2 full," she says.
"A pessimist sees its a 1/2 empty," she continues.

"I'm engineer. I see it as 0.5" I answered Annoyingly!

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Vladimir Putin has brushed off allegations of electoral fraud and is now triumphantly celebrating his 2016 Presidential election victory.

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