cannot brain

Too much salty wet will make you slowwww....

The man remembers his son's name but refers to his daughter as the girl one...

As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this sexy blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers.

"Hey cheeky!" she said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"

"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam," I said sternly. "I don't work here."

One very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Kmart With
her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through
the entrance. The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to
Kmart, nice Children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course
they bloody aren't!

The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you
think they're twins?...... Do you really think they look Alike, you
d*ckhead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone
would f**k you twice!"

wah wah wah stevan makes a joke!

LOL

LOL...

My girlfriend called me last night.

"I'm just sitting here watching soaps, I've got my face mask on, my hair in rollers and I'm painting my nails."

She said, "I swear you're gay."

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Feb 10 2012, 09:17 AM

Marc won $500 on a radio competition this morning.

The DJ called him and said, "We are going live in a few seconds, I'm going to ask you what you're going to spend your money on and I want you to tell the listeners on air."

"Okay" Marc replied.

He said, "3...2....1..... Congratulations to Marc, our competition winner, what are you going to spend the money on?"

Marc said, "I'm going to spend it on air."

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Feb 10 2012, 09:18 AM

He must have won a competition to find the best idiot.

holy shit i can't stop LOL'ing

My mum asked, "Lee, why do you lend everyone money even though they are not your friends?"

I replied, "Because I'm Loan Lee."

Let's get one thing clear.

The internet history before the wife gets back.

Here is how you should celebrate valentine's Day. Guidelines specifically brought to you by JAKRIM

<a href="http://planetofthemonyets.blogspot.com/2012/02/garispanduan-jakrim-tatacara-menyambut.html"> http://planetofthemonyets.blogspot.com/201...-menyambut.html </a>

what dafuq did i just see?

link embed also fail...total fail

blog hurring

this one really heaven. really suits the jokes well

Really lulz... Good one

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure.

It's called a credit card.