One very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Kmart With
her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through
the entrance. The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to
Kmart, nice Children you've got there. Are they twins?"

The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course
they bloody aren't!

The oldest is nine and the youngest is seven. Why the hell would you
think they're twins?...... Do you really think they look Alike, you
d*ckhead?"

"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone
would f**k you twice!"