means he gonna die liao?

yeah

Dear Dracula,
Remember that night a few years ago?
Well now you have a son.
His name is Edward

Sincerely,
Tinkerbell

waakakakakakka..like u've been experience it once

April 14th 1912:
MAN: "Women and children first please."

25 years ago:
WOMAN: "Women want sex equality"

15 years ago:
WOMAN:"Women to fight sexism"

5 years ago:
WOMAN:"Women winning on sex equality"

4 days ago:
WOMAN: "It was unbelievable, men were trying to get into the lifeboats before women"

The psychic I saw yesterday was definitely a fraud.

Either that, or she enjoys rape.

lol...

i don't get the psychic joke :|

lol.. u otak tua liao

LOL... truestory

The guy succesfully raped the psychic, meaning she not real psychic coz real psychic will know he come to rape her, or she likes to be raped lol

Under SOPA, you could get 5 years for uploading a Michael Jackson song. One year more than the doctor who killed him.

I really wanted to remarry the woman I divorced years ago, but she said I was only after my money.

My relatives used to show me their catalog of eligible partners after they heard I'm single. That's until I return the favor with a list of estate management lawyers.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Please enjoy the day with quality time going through the in-laws family album.

---

Added on January 27, 2012, 12:09 amI was so pissed off after arguing with my wife last night.

When she went to bed, I sneaked into the kitchen and tightened every jar and bottle in the cupboard.

This post has been edited by aLittleMisfit: Jan 27 2012, 12:09 AM

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world.

Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom! I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont .. .

Their first night there, she undressed as he did. There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same ............ She stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit, but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"


He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences".

damn~

Bob is unemployed and applies for a job as a janitor at Microsoft. A manager at Human Resources interviews him in detail then asks him to wipe a few floors as a test.

"OK," says the interviewer, "you're hired. Just give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the necessary documents."

Bob says that he doesn't have a computer, so obviously has no e-mail address. The Microsoft interviewer tells him that without an e-mail address he virtually doesn't exist, so the company is unable to hire him.

Disappointed and frustrated, Bob leaves the building with only 10 dollars in his pocket. He decides to go to the nearest supermarket and buy 10 pounds of tomatoes. He sells the tomatoes door-to-door and within two hours has doubled his capital. He repeats the process three times and ends up with 160 dollars.

Realising that he can make a living this way, Bob works hard from early morning to late at night. Every day, he doubles or even triples his capital. After a short time, he buys a small van, then a truck, and soon he has an entire fleet for his deliveries.

Within 5 years, Bob has established one of the largest food retail chains in the USA. He decides to think about his future and wants to get a financial plan drawn up for himself and his family. He contacts a financial consultant and they compile a pension plan. At the end of the discussion, the consultant asks Bob for his e-mail address in order to send him the corresponding documents, only to hear that Bob still does not own a computer and has no e-mail address.

"That's weird," says the consultant. "You have built up a massive retail empire and you don't even have an e-mail address. Just imagine what you would have achieved if you'd had a computer."

Bob thinks for a minute, then says: "I'd be a janitor at Microsoft."

LOL

He's getting lucky tonight