mushroom (tungku) farm
one day a guy was having sex with a girl in a mushroom farm in the middle of the night,
when the girl was on top of guy, she heard someone came and ran off
leaving the guy all hard and naked on the floor. he have to stay quite so that someone would not notice him.

that someone is a beautiful blind farm girl came to pluck mushroom,
so she plucked the mushrrom and said "one little tungku, two little tungku, three, three, three"..........squirt.... the guy ejaculated.

the next day the guy can't stop thinking about how good it felt last night and how soft the farmgirls hands and stuff, so he went there that night and get naked and lay on the farm again.....

and again the blind farm girl came to pluck mushroom and said "one little tungku, two little tungku, three, three, three"..........squirt again..... the guy ejaculated again.

the next day, this guy told his friends about his experience on the farm with this farm girl and how good it felt and stuff and all of his friends want to experiece it also
on that day also, this blind farmgirl told her father that something wrong with the mushroom these days and she could not plucked soem of the mushrooms. so the father stood up and said, " dont worry my child, i will settle it for you."

then the night came, the guy and all his friends lay all naked on the farm waiting for the experience of their lives......

then suddenly vrooooom........................(motor sound)
the farmgirl father lawnmovers all the mushrooms thinking that all the mushroom is already spoilt..........
(mind my english as i typed it as i recall this joke from my schooling days.......lol...hope u enjoy)

I saw my ex girlfriend walking towards me in the high street today. Not wanting to stop and chat to her, I quickly pretended that I was talking on the phone.

She walked straight up to me and said, "You're just pretending to be on the phone, aren't you?"

"Hold on a moment," I said to my pretend caller. "No, I'm not. What makes you think that I'm pretending?"

"You've got your thumb in your ear and your little finger on your lip."

Here is how you should celebrate valentine's Day. Guidelines specifically brought to you by JAKRIM

<a href="http://planetofthemonyets.blogspot.com/2012/02/garispanduan-jakrim-tatacara-menyambut.html"> http://planetofthemonyets.blogspot.com/201...-menyambut.html </a>

A woman has just done her shopping and is taking a shortcut home through the park. Suddenly a man jumps out of the bushes, opens his raincoat and exposes himself.
The woman takes a deep breath, looks down at her shopping bags, slaps her palm to her forehead and says:

"F*cking knew it! I forgot the shrimps!"

Sean's wife asked him to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday.

They haven't found his body after he gone back with a pushup bra.

any1 can explain? 

Standing on an Ikea podium from Sweden, behind bullet proof by Saint Gobain Glass from France, smiling at a 4K Sony Japanese Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser German microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in Switzerland, he patriotically said,
"Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants." While standing beside a Slovenian wife.