I don't find myself crying ... maybe you're trying to project? lolol

i guess ppl respond to dissapointments in different ways. some cry and some decide to create whiny threads.

Haha this thread really made my day.

I was once a doormat, a friggin huge one. Well, I was, I fell, it hurt a lot, but I stood up and the wound started to heal.

I'm currently studying about human relations as my hobby, trying to figure out how human relationships work.

I have noticed that I have quite a few admirers coz I've woke up from the previous mistakes.

Be nice, but not that nice. No point explaining to u guys here coz sooner or later u're gona learn it the hard way.

This post has been edited by papamia: Oct 21 2010, 02:56 AM

Good for you then. Where's your old avatar of the lonely cowboy with a bottle and gun on his hands

Honestly, my avatar changes with my current feelings.

Back then I was feeling down because the seed of hatred was planted in me, largely caused by an unappreciative friend of mine.

I felt that I was used.

But thank god there was a sem break, sem breaks are always good for you to do some self-evaluation/reading.

I changed my mindset and now I'm happy.

be nice to people, no matter towards men or women, but dont be too nice until you kena pijak kepala.

I like this article. Pinned for a few days.

Btw I think most people are missing the point, contrasting the above as posted to pure jerks.

The thing is:

Yes be romantic, but don't Over do it, there's a place and time for everything, and sometimes it just isn't appropriate. You gotta be conscious of other people's feelings. I like the part about bringing roses when you're meeting her for "a cup of coffee". Or overdoing Things on a simple first date, huge teddy bears, flowers, etc. I always advise against overdoing thing. It depends on where, when, and the situation.

Also, there is a HuGe difference between being there for your girl, and being with her because YOU need to stand next to her all the time. Most guys are
Clingy with the excuse they're doing it because they love her so much yadda yadda but really, whose needs are you fulfilling. Yours or hers?

Everything in MODERATION And place and time and circumstance.

---

Added on October 21, 2010, 3:34 pmBtw keep up with the debate. Am liking it too. But do try to do it without insinuating the other is a retard. You all know who you are....


This post has been edited by Baronic: Oct 21 2010, 03:34 PM

I posted this before but it didn't get pinned

/emo

that sure hit the spot!! hahahaha

Too bad moderation always have problems of telling exactly how much is "one inch too short", or "one inch too much" that determines whether you'll make it to the aforementoined equilibirum or not.

This post has been edited by Deadlocks: Oct 22 2010, 11:04 AM

Lol is it papamia? My bad. Just that recently a lot of people whining so I saw it appropriate to pin this for a while. Not that I'm biased towards chicks. Whistles. xD

Deadlocks, yea, well it's sorta like... Common sense? Cantonese is "Seng muk" (don't laugh I know my canto sucks"

Basically think of it from her point of view before u do something, would she be annoying, irritated, embarassed or appreciative. It depends a lot on the girl. I know some girls would be furious if she receives flowers from a guy at her work place or college for example since she likes to keep a low profile, and doesn't like to be centre of attention. So instead of being touched she'd be embarassed

What men need to realize is that there's actually a huge plague of insecurity, especially in Malaysia. Self-doubt, excuses, and laziness to live life to the fullest, laziness to make something happen.

Laziness. There is NO ABSOLUTE METHOD except for the fact that you need to actually work it out yourself. If you must be the biggest failure in the world, make sure you did YOUR VERY BEST EFFORT or else you will regret it.

Be it relationship, careers, friends, and pretty much life itself.

good move by baronic,pinning this thread up

excellent post. want to print it out and glue it to my f***ing forehead.

wow spunkberry can get this pinned up...


spunkberry plz make a thread about how to look hot for guys...=)

unfortunately, what a girl finds hot in a guy is subjective.

to me, relationships are random... everything is random shyt, some people are total douchebags and still get a girl, while some nice fellas dont. its all about chances. the only way for one to have better chances are to socialize more. pretty straight forward for me.

as for how to go for someone .. i don think i am good at that . sigh ... the girls that i like either like me for a while or completely uninterested, for girls that i am not attracted to shows interest in me ... anyway for guys out there, let me share my 2 cents. if u see a girl and u like her, GO for it. there is no shame or what. you are afraid (for some) but if u don try u will never know don wait till its too late! you may say what if u get hurt? will u rather get hurt 100 times and find the girl u like or to be hurn 0 times and be with someone you dont?

I find it rather appalling that you have to classify everything into both ends of the extreme without regard to the overall spectrum.

There has to be a distinction here. There isn't such thing as a nice guy or bad boy at all. These are pseudo-type guys that only exist in fiction. What a girl says when she means a nice guy is that he is a pathetic doormat. Yes, nice does not mean he gives to charity, takes care of orphans during his free time and treats her nice. All girls would KILL for a guy like that. When she means nice she means you are putting yourself below her and below your peers(in certain cases). Basically, you are nothing but a tool for someone else's pleasure or happiness.

Then comes the jerk who has little regard for the girl or treats the girl badly. This guy TOO is avoided by females.

So what does the female want? The short answer would be non of the extremes. See what you said in your post. The guy loves the girl and protects the girl. Yes, is that in any way contradictory to what spunkberry said? In her entire post did she in any way devaluate a guy who was protective and loving? NO.

Neither did she approve of a guy that treats the girl like a slave and sells her off. Where are you coming up with these ridiculous notions? In all the posts here I have yet to see ANYONE say that. The only person who seems to think so would be you.

Okay, you want to know the middle ground as you call it? Think of your favorite childhood hero. Bruce Lee? Wong Fei Hong? Arnold ? Slyvester Stallone? James Bond?

Did they get the girls? Yes.
Were they confident? Yes
Did they beat assholes who hurt them or their loved ones up? Yes
Did they gamble, smoke, drink? Yes. That doesn't matter.
Were they badass? Yes
But did they treat their girls badly? No
Were they begging for girls to accept them? No
Did they beat girls up? No
Did they let girls push them around and despite that still treat em like a queen? No. They put them in place orderly or called them out on their childish behavior in a stern tone.

I can go on and on but yes, basicaly you have to find the middle ground. The romantic, understanding, empathetic, sensitive side of the "nice guy" while pertaining to the exciting, outgoing, protective, confident and secure side of the "bad boy" WHILE throwing away the weepy, pathetic, 24/7 pleasing even though the girl treats him like shit side of the nice guy and the "hurting people, bullying, demeaning" side of the bad boy.

That's it.

it is not dat random, it is statistic.

I like this nugget of truth my friend once said: If all your relationships have been shitty, the thing they all have in common is probably the problem (that is, yourself).

And like it's been stated in many of the posts here, in regards to people who've resorted to extreme versions of jerks/douche canoes etc and the "nice guys" (or door mats):
no one wants a guy coated in sugar and cream, willing to fit into your whims and fancies.
no one wants a guy who's full reckless, angry, abusive, and indulged in all the vices you can think of.
(plus, statistically speaking, there'll only be 5% of the population who's like that.)

And for once, please get over your mindset of black-or-white. That kind of thinking is immature and naive.

Life comes in shades of grey.

The same way you need to be moderate in speaking up and keeping quiet, in clinging and letting go etc.

and if you're one of the kinda guys who want a girl who is total "shu nu" because she is nice, speaks 2 words a minute (due to her slow processing, not because she is quiet), who is submissive, and will cater to all your wants and desires,

respect -infinity.