my husband addict 2 drug... he promised me wil chg after our baby come out but things dosen't change.. he's jobless.... i feel like wanna divorce but i love him so much.. each time no money he'll borrow from fren or parents... til when oni wil tis stop? i'm tired.. y drug addict cant stop? can any1 teach me how 2 make him stop?

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 28 2009, 07:29 AM

Go for rehab =)

erm.. wat is rehab?

rehabilition centre is = pusat pemulihan ahlak .its very hard 2 erase that habits,as drugs always give u power and energized ur day .this is what ppl say la.

Sigh sadness, why did you marry him? Unless he's addicted to drugs only after marriage. Now that you've got the baby, it becomes even harder to leave.

Soft approach is not gonna work. I doubt he'll change. And if you're to divorce, I wonder what are your chances to re-marry, unless you're super rich, which I doubt cuz he wouldn't need to borrow money from friends.

I would suggest you use the hard approach. Report him to police and force him into rehab. At least he knows you will take action and hope with this bad experience he will change. Hopefully after a few years of sacrifice, he will change and give a better future for the baby.

If you don't do that, then I would say the next best step is to divorce him. Chances are, you might be a single mum for life, but it would be better than staying on with him. Addicted to drug will lead on to greater problems such as robbing, stealing, gambling, ah-long, wife-beating, violence, and perhaps even... suicide. Do you really want all that? And worst of all, do you really want your kid to grow up in a screwed-up environment? So I suggest you leave him. I know love will make you think 'oh it's okay to stay on', but guess what, it's NOT OK! You can survive without him.

yea when he no drug he'll keep slping... how 2 send him go in le? i try b4 throw away all his things in de end he use knife pointing on me.. tat time i was pregnant 6 mth.... really dunno how 2 make him stop... call police come catch him? but i sakit hait le..

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Added on November 7, 2009, 12:40 pmmarried cos tat time i dunno he addict so deep on drug... i dun wan da baby at 1st but he keep say promise me wont take again.. he stoped 4 few mth n go work but da ppl who work wit him oso a drug addict! i'm oni 24yr tis yr.. if divorce i dun think is late 4 another relationship... my mum said if divorce da baby gv 2 my in law's 2 take care.. my husband family is rich but bcos of he's drug addict his dad dun even care him til he marry me n hv baby my father in law oni come c da baby... really feel like dying.. now de life is worst them when i'm single...

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 7 2009, 12:40 PM

Remember, the influence.

This post has been edited by Kampung2005: Nov 7 2009, 01:01 PM

wat i can do since he's da father n i dunno how 2 make him stop..

Other than u think u still loving him, anymore reason u still wanna be with him?
U see, 'love' does not give u all power to accept someone regardless how good or bad he/she is
U can say love is blind, but we human are not blind (mostly), since u are clear with ur situation, why dont choose a right decision with a cler eye instead of blinding urself?

If u still wan to maintain, theres no other way but throw him into that duno-wat center to make him throw away his addiction.
Of course if u do it urself is quite danger, try to gather all his relative friends and urs to force him in
A drug addict is a serious addict where he himself wont wan to throw it away even if u point a gun at him
They wont consider that as saving themself but killing, so people around will be the one to save him

If he really cant be save, divoice is the only way
continue on bring harm to both of u especially to ur innocent baby
Think bout his/her future living with a drug addict father
How u gonna take care of everything with a drug addict husband?
24 is still young enough to look for another partner
Marry in the age of 25-30 is still normal and safe
Most importantly is to find a person who can really walk through the life with u

He dared point knife at you? DIVORCE!!! Also, restraining order if possible...

This is no way how a father should act...

Kellyan, does your husband know he has a problem? you can only help a person if he admits he has a problem.

This post has been edited by teongpeng: Nov 7 2009, 01:14 PM

Think of the future.

Do you want your child to live in conducive environment?

This post has been edited by Kampung2005: Nov 7 2009, 01:17 PM

Report to police.

And in the mean time, get your brain checked.

i dun think he got problems.. he din work everyday oni play online game.. games problem? 0.o

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Added on November 7, 2009, 1:43 pmi been thinking 2 report police but really sakit hati if i send him thr... i wanted 2 make him stop b4 i made da last decission...

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Added on November 7, 2009, 1:44 pm=.= thanks 4 advice.. wil report police if really cant go on anymore

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 7 2009, 01:44 PM

if u continue to support him, u are ruining his life.

either report him, or send him to drug rehanitation centre, threathen to divorce him might help.
other wise, better divorce him than to suffer further, moreover, pls make sure u take precautions as not to be infected by him.

i got threathen him 2 divorce b4.. he called my mum n scold her cos he think is my mum asked me 2 do so... does any1 hv drug addict b4 but now stop dy? can teach me how 2 make him stop other den send him 2 police or rehab?

For your child's sake you should consider divorce. Simply because the bad nature of the father is not healthy for the child's upbringing. Remember that the decisions you make affect both your child and yourself. How would you feel if you had to go to school and teacher asked "What does your father do?". I'd gladly accept that I have no father as opposed to one who is a druggie.

ofcos i dun wan my son 2 lost father or mother n grow up in a healthy family.. i really dunno wat else i can do other den send him 2 rehab... is so desparate...

Ultimately, the choice is up to you. An irresponsible father will never be part of a healthy family, therefore unless and until your husband proves he can give up on his addiction and get a respectable job to feed the family, your child might not live the life he should be living. Take the utmost care in bringing him up, let him learn music, let him engage in sports and read books to him. These are important soft-skills and activities you should have your son take up and cultivate, because they are beneficial and are of good practice. If you can afford them that is.

Right now, just keep your son away from your husband's vices, seriously. Influence in your son's childhood is a critical stage.

This post has been edited by ZeratoS: Nov 7 2009, 02:07 PM

good god i hope this is fake....
no one can be stupid enough to stay with a jobless junkie especially with a baby, HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED TRAINSPOTTING!!! ><"

How healthy is it for your son, when the family have some form of abuses?

This post has been edited by Kampung2005: Nov 7 2009, 02:15 PM

* edited *

This post has been edited by POYOZER: Nov 7 2009, 02:50 PM

What drugs were you hooked on, and for how long? Why did you start?

Did you or did you not have a supportive environment to help you quit?

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Nov 7 2009, 02:30 PM

believe me, better leave than sorry ...

i oso dunno y... i know him from online games.. his mouth is sweet den make me fallen but i dunno tis is da things would happen.. btw wat is trainspotting?

How long have you known him before marriage?

.....

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 7 2009, 02:32 PM

Ini...

... ini betul kah, ini?

Too many incredible stories in CC nowadays. Must be college semester break for 2 inci's or jobless season again.

wil think clearly weather wat 2 do.. thx 4 advise..

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Added on November 7, 2009, 2:33 pmin game know him bout 1yr but didn't meet b4 early last yr oni meet him...



This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 7 2009, 02:48 PM

cis now i know its fake... online gaming love... pishtosh!!!

Guy’s mouth is always sweet.

Want to rehabilitate him? Teach you how. Beat him with a spoon everytime he takes drugs. Again and again and again and again and again..



Video related.

I don't know if reporting him is a good idea because he may despise you if you do, and that would be the end of things. Someone so immature is not going to grow up anytime soon.

I think leaving him (no need to divorce, just live elsewhere) is the only solution.

This post has been edited by kotmj: Nov 7 2009, 02:35 PM

You fell by his words...

Em...

=.=! v know in game den in game is a couple but not in real cos tat time i got bf. after i broken up wit my bf he come ngorat me.. den v meet up n start a real realtionship... if u dun belive i hv no choice.. tis is real..

The world are virtual now !You know someone from Online Games and married with him ? ridiculous ! Just run to another country and don't let him know !Survive yourself if you're strong !!

Video! Watch to understand.

wit spoon? 0.o?

Erm...

Why you have no choice?

lol, he uses a knife pointing at you and you still love him? You must be nuts.

LOL~~
Poison him with the drugs he seemed to love and report 2 police let him rot in prison/rehab where he belongs..
Y wanna salvage a broken material/save a sinking ship..
All u can do is die with the ship lol..
Advice : LEAVE~~

i think the chicks to blame here... she knew he was a junkie, she knew what she was getting into, probably f***ed him on the first or second date judging by the timeline of events, the guys under the influence, but whats her excuse for being so stupid and careless....

its cos of people like this that abortion should not be abolished....

i say report the guy into rehab and give the baby to the in laws.

online gamers wil believe wat is said from game 2 real life...

1. Get a new hobby especially play sport (to reduce the focus on drugs)

2. Travel to oversea except to Amsterdam (the best way to open his mind)

he use knife point me den e other day he pujuk me back...

You ought know what to do ?If he continuously being like this ,you'll suffer ,not him .

his hobby is play online game.. how 2 change him? u got enuf cash 2 go travel he rather use at money 2 buy drugs le...

TS, stop wasting time on LYN. Your problem is too serious for anyone here to help you with.

Go to these people. At the very least, they can point you in the right direction.

I tell you drug addict are no difference with armed criminals. Your life now is not safe. He can anytime threathen you for money to buy drugs.

And now you already have a child.

When did you know about him being a drug addict? Being marriage or what? If you already knew he was one, but still marry to him, you are the one looking for trouble and now you should clear the mess by yourself.

thanks 4 advise..

How old is he? Most probably his mental is haven’t mature yet.

Call them. Now.

I guarantee you that no one here - not even myself - is qualified to help you with your problem. Stop reading their replies. Get proper help.

after i married wit him oni i know he addict 2 drug so deep b4 tis he say he just take 5 jai.. when he stay wit me he suddenly take a packet of ice come my home.. i terkejut dunno wat 2 say.. marry him cos i feel he's da 1 n he care bout me but after tat .........

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Added on November 7, 2009, 2:53 pmlol he's 31yrs tis yr...

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 7 2009, 02:53 PM

31 years old.

Sometimes, letting go of someone you love, is a form to love him, too.

thru up and down thru good and bad times or whatever marriage vows ppl make when they tie the knot....THIS IS THE TIME TO APPLY IT.

Screw ppl here who suggest she leaves her husband without first seeking professional advice.

Kellyan...your husband is at aweak point of his life right now....Its up to you now to save the marriage...get help!!

I knew many drug addicts who are already settle down when they reach the age of 27. Only few are still haven’t and those normally got internal problem which is really abnormal and need to seek for professional help.

Or must be your husband is just a newbie on drugs. Just started few months ago or years. Still syok syok want to try this thing and that thing. Curious is the best word.

This post has been edited by POYOZER: Nov 7 2009, 03:16 PM

Letting go doesn't mean divorce him.

Letting go mean leave him for awhile, with the baby. Guide him to change and persuade him to change. Give both a promise.

All i can say is having no father is better than having a lousy father. If u think about ur child, you cant put ur love for ur husband in front. Its the love for ur child. Every mum will do so. You will feel sakit hati if u report him to police, but if u dont, the pain in the future will be more. End up u will need to report to the police as well. If its so, y not report now rather than latter? You wanted to give him a chance to change, but isnt it obvious that he wont change after all ur effort? Do u wan to live beside a timebomb that may explode anytime? In this situation, let logic take over, not feelingS.

you can guide him while still being by his side. All you haters just know how to punish ppl and talk is cheap coz u've never been a victim.

Sometimes we need to be cruel for our own good especially to the baby and the future of the family.

And seek professional help if u may. No hesitation. The lifes is in ur hand. Work and act and dun think and think

From her hubby's situation, apparently soft approach doesn't work. To guide someone, to influence somone, has to be innovative and find a better way that works on the victim's personality.

Wasting time in plan A for many years doesn't work, it will only ruin his years to come, so does to herself and the baby.

soft approach doesnt work?? soft approach? what the hell? TRY some professional approach....get counselling. Has She tried that? No? then what soft approach?

I dont think you understand the meaning of marriage vows if your suggestion is for her to leave him.

Of course I know what's meaning of marriage vows.

Professional counseling is one way, yes she hasn't tried it. But if she doesn't try it then she may have to apply other way.

30 years old. Addicted to drugs since he's in early 20s. If accompany him day and night without doing anything just plain nagging can change him, I don't think he's still a drug addict now.

actually i dunno whr 2 find 4 a professional counseling b4 tis.. but just now got some forumer gv a wesite i'll try it out.... billion of TQ 4 u all who gv opinion....

divorce la.

=.="

Easy solution.

Wat cna u do/

ever imagine one day he point the knife at your baby?
not gonna advise more. it's already 4pages of advises.. either u want to accept or not.
take care of yourself k..

I'm worried about ur baby man
these guys got no logic after taking drugs

consult u [private clinic doc...now they got medicine to make ppl not addicted to drug

Drug addiction can be removed.

But the trauma of knife?

Doesn't sound like reasoning is going to work. You need to jolt your relationship and reset it. Tell him how what he's doing is destroying your marriage. He's a bum, plain and simple. If he isn't going to change, then leave him. Go back to your parents for some time. If you and your marriage mean enough to him, he'll change and if not, you never meant that much to him anyway. He has to know what it feels like to lose You. Strong u must be to do this.

punishing is a way to teach and change a person

do u think mom/dad like to beat the children until they are so pain? but if not will they learn?

report police, send him to rehab and tell that you love him

just remind me last time of a gal that i know who reported his bf who involve in drugs. She's crying seeing her bf in lokap. She's very painful in heart, but if touching drugs, rehab is the way to go. She knew she did it right and so should you.

need weed or anythin ~ come find me ! i help him

got such medicine? can tell me more info?

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Added on November 7, 2009, 6:55 pmmy family is complicated.. mum staying wit step father since my dad pass away.. so i dun hv place 2 go.... i'll try 2 ask from da prof..

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 7 2009, 06:55 PM

Well say.

Somehow, love doesn't mean you can adopt hard approach. Throughout the progress, yes, it is painful to the victim and to you yourself, we have to see if the method works the matter.

Ask help from his parents? from ur parents?

This post has been edited by rosiereen: Nov 7 2009, 07:42 PM

Don't sell these things on internet in before I get komisen.

This post has been edited by POYOZER: Nov 7 2009, 07:45 PM

Bring him to know JESUS!!!

ONLY JESUS HEALS

Hi Kellyyan.

Do you have any relatives and close family that able to help you out of this problem? Try to talk to them. We are only be able to give you advise and opinion. The final decision is on your hand. You need to execute it.

Do you talk to your mother ? try to talk to your mother. I guess she have the responsibility to share your problem. Call her. This kind of thing can't be delayed any further.From my point of view,You seriously need to talk to your husband. If things doesn't work out. Please do the last step, report to police.

I know that you love your husband very much but this is the only way that can help him. I know right now you need help and care from friends, family to support you. Don't worry. You can share things out in here. Do you work currently ? How did you support your own self as your husband is jobless?

We all hope can help you out of this problem. God Bless.

I have met a drug addict that abuses his wife.

I know another drug addict that killed his own mum.

I am not trying to scare you here, but in order to protect yourself and the baby, stay with your parents for now.

Now i get you TS, the drug is to make him stay awake while play online game for 24hrs a day.^^ By the way, what online game is that??

If you don't want to make thing worst. Just go back to your mother house and stay there. Let him root in his father house or what ever..give him a time frame like a year from now to change.

Then only decide..

There are also non-drug addicts who abuse their wives and kill their mums.

This post has been edited by teongpeng: Nov 7 2009, 08:46 PM

i think your hubby is immature and has no sense of responsibility. he's already reached the age of 31 yrs and yet he's still hooked on drugs, playing online games 24/7.

what have your in-laws done to help? as you said your family is complicated, maybe you should consider talking to your in-laws about this. they definitely will not want their grandchild to grow up in such an environment.

like noob13 said, your only option is to get professional help because (and i'm not trying to rub salt into your wounds) from your responses, it's quite clear that you yourself are not even matured enough to deal with such a situation yet. and soft approach is definitely not going to help at this point. your husband needs some sense knocked into his thick skull cause i don't think he'll listen to any advice right now since he's so hooked on them drugs.

may i know if you're working? who's supporting your lifestyle currently? are you planning to depend on your in-laws since you say they're wealthy?

damn ts desperate

TS, I suggest you close this thread. As I mentioned before, no one here can give you the advice you need. Contact the Befrienders, get professional help. And good luck.

Sorry to hear that. Sometimes love can be too blind. But hey, you love your child too don't you? For the sake of the kid and yourself, kicking the habit of drug and get a job is a must. How bad things can go if it carry on, I'm sure you can imagine by listening to so many examples out there. Seeking advise from doc's or pro's is needed as mentioned by others already. Same time, what you need is plan ahead yourself. Eg, if your husband manage to change, it's great. But if not, by all means you need to plan on staying place, people who can take care of the kid while you work, etc. So at least, however it ends there's still a road out for you and the kid. As for the choices, it's really up to yourself TS. Can't give advise on such a thing that might change a persons life. Wish you luck.

it is nearly impossible to ask a drug addic to stop takin drug. there's once my
neighbour addicted to drugs and his mom bring him to temple, yes temple
where u pray, few month later, he has completely change into a different
person, stop takin drugs too.. brainwash? maybe

drug addict memang macam ini....

u shud hook up with this guy

http://forum.lowyat.net/topic/1183460

First off, never trust a drug addict.

Secondly, do you have such low esteem, that you cant even find a better guy ? This is the best you can do ?

Get a bum ass husband who takes drugs and doesnt work ?

Seriously ? SERIOUSLY ?

Leave the moron and get on with life. Your daughter is better off without knowing a dad like that.

Already have a baby girl but still doesnt know how to grow the f*** up.

Leave that piece of shit before he does something stupid while he is "high" and possibly kills his own daughter .

Oh boy... get over it. just divorce him. Do u think drug addict can be cure? Well, maybe but compare to people who go back to the some old habit is really high. Don't be like a 80's women where they love their husband so much that they rather being beat and kick by their husband. Go get yourself a lawyer. Divorce him and start a new life. You love him so much? Ko pikir cinta tu bole bagi ko makan ke? Bole bagi ko duit? C'mon. Don't be so stupid. Thousand of men out there that are waiting for you. Think about your baby. Someday, he maybe borrow money from Ah long and think what's gonna happen next. 24 years old. I think u can think wisely. If you still hope that he will change, then you will be in hell for a few years. Im sorry if my comment is too harsh but i cant stand for a stupid person like you. I saw my aunties involve in the same situation too. I just dont get it. If your men is a drug addict, it is time to take to the next level ; divorce. Im sure he will beg you to not to divorce him but get that shit out of your life. Please use your brain. LOVE LOVE LOVE? as i said. can love give u money?

kelly... to tell u the truth.. u shud discusst wit him n maybe his parent... to bring him to a place that to stop drug(agensi anitidadah) coz oni it cause of those drug n borrow munny from other's/....

I believe non of you speak from experience nor qualification

Including you don't you?

he's been thru that thats why he can speak out loud.

thank's 4 all advise.. i'll call up Befrienders today... even his parents oso scat of him cos he use parang chase his dad his dad curang... so they oso no idea...

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Added on November 9, 2009, 4:37 ambtw he's playing RAN online.. >.<

This post has been edited by kellyan: Nov 9 2009, 04:37 AM

Well, he's 31, no job, play online game...

you can introduce him to me to talk i may be able to help?

got experience dealing drug addict