Consider the Risks of Abortion

In your case is $$$$ vs. Baby. Obviously your chose $$$.
$$$ lost can be earn back.
Life lost can never be earn back.
Both you & your fiancee just too comfortable with your current situation that both you will be afraid to face the challenges ahead.
You're just giving yourself tons of excuse, but have you actually tried searching for a better solution?
For example, refinance your house?
Let the baby stay with your parents or in law?
Cut down on expenses?
Have you actually searched 100 rooms and all of them ban couple with baby?

You might cry a few days over a lost investment & money but, you can cry for life over a lost life.

I tot you're struggling with a 1.5k payroll, chee sin mthly expenses 5k and you tell me you cannot squeeze in a baby???? you must be joking. With your salary you can have 2 children!

ts: I think you're just emotionally unprepared, talk to either parent which you think is easier and seek thier advise, mature ppl will be able to help you better as they know you guys situation. Sometimes no matter how ugly the scene you've to be man enuf to face the hardship.

We have considered it.. And we're willing to live with that.. We are getting engaged as soon as I can meet up with her mum. If indeed my wife is unable to conceive we are going to accept it. This is not a decision I make lightly. The doctor has told us the risk, they haven't poisoned us to make this decision. In fact they initially adviced us to keep the child as we seem like a stable couple. But after confering with the family planning therapist and crunching the numbers, we would go into serious debt if any complications arise.

You see, when you go to a family planning therapist, they will give you the raw facts. Not some perfect scenario where your child comes out beautiful and grand. They make allowances for possible complication. Of course they don't assume that the child will be born with every complication in the world but they consider common ailments.

You may think we're being negative but its a cruel world we live in and we must be prepared.

About our house... It is for our future. Me and my gf came from poor families and we were raised on a bare minimum. It was rough on us all and we swore we would never put a child through the suffering we had to endure. With a place to call home, our children will never be without a home and we will be better for it.

But today is the last day for our re-consideration. If anyone is serious about helping, I eagerly await you help.

This post has been edited by ravager877: Mar 24 2009, 09:47 AM

woooh i learn so much today, thx for all the info pinkgenie

chill ...
i think they are sure that abortion is never 100% safe .....as i had said in my previous post ... abortion threatens the chances of a lady conceiving later ..
we couldnt possibly rule out the possibility that things may go beyond their expected plans .. anything may happen ..*assuming they had already calculated and they knew that their budget is almost their entire income* and when it does .. there's nobody there to help them ...

if you got nothin much to say .. juz keep it to yourself ... thanks ..

Dear TS,

I myself stay on our own with my husband. We rented a flat in Wangsa Maju, Setapak. A comfy home and it only cost ud RM450 per month.

So what do you have to say?

Life is never predictable, thats why religion is important

this thread reminds me to wear my condoms again ..

thanks ts ..

good luck on ur abortion ...

screw what other ppl thinks .. do what is best for you and her

Hmm. Thank you so much for that suggestion.. I mean no offense when I say this but a flat doesn't seem like a safe place to raise a child. It's unhygienic, tends to be over populated and heights aren't exactly safe for kids later in life when they are running around. Regardless I will try to speak with my GF on this option to see if we can accept raising a child in a flat. Thank you once again for your recommendation.

you're very paranoid or you're just giving tons of excuses to escape your own wrong doings. Many of us here are raised in kampungs or flats, and I dun see ppl dying yet. You mean you must be a millionaire then only you wanna have a child?

The earlier you have a first kid is safer, if you wait after 30 risk also start rising.

Besides that have you talk to your mother? Is she willing to help you with taking care of the baby so that the both of you can go to work? Is she can, then there's no problem living in a cheap flats rite.

And if you mom isn't able to help, then renting a flat is only temporary. Stay there for the time being and when you are financially stable again, with fatter bank savings, you can always move out to rent a better place. Tenancy agreement usually last for 1 year. After 1 year, you can move out already.

I'm no guru in fetuses but is the baby formed yet after 4 weeks?
With a heartbeat?

If no, then i'm all for abortion.
I don't think it's wrong to go for abortion if the baby is not formed yet.
Afterall, it doesn't have a life yet. If you think abortion is wrong, then perhaps u shouldn't masturbate too
either 'cos it's the same thing. Having the baby will bring more problems not just for you and ur gf, but the baby itself.
Imagine, what would he think if he found out he's an "accident" :S

Goodluck.

This post has been edited by King83: Mar 24 2009, 09:58 AM

From the looks of it, u better not have any kids at all in the future. That's what most parents have to go through no matter what and it seems you cant handle it at all. I know a couple who earn less than what u earn (~RM1800 I think, now should be around RM3000 looking at their position), and they still manage to live a good life with their children.

No matter, how u try to prevent it using condom, even knowing it's only 99% effective doesnt change the fact it still happened. And to the quote "To all you people who say 'Use a Condom'. I pray you all get what you deserve", yeah definitely will, me included. I'll probably take second job and work harder and cut off my other expenses e.g. entertainment to fulfill my obligations.

Now do you ever wonder why most people say "Get married first before sex?" Not saying or discriminate those who did it but you just have to know and accept the risk that's all. U cant bungee jump without the idea of possible death if the cord "putus".

would you have sex with her again ? that's the question

Read your story and i felt that the amount of stress you felt could be the biggest you ever felt in this lifetime of yours.

Well, i never knocked up a lady and act in a movie titled Knocked Up but i believe i might give a little say on this matter on a short note. I believe the matter is not about which path should you choose. Its either you abort or stick with the idea or image eating together with your wife and child on the table. I don't see any reason to justify which one is ethical. None of the decision made by you and your gf would or could be ethical because if you try to impress or influence the crowd with your choices or options, you will only get yourself into a blood bath or nut cracking brawl.

Each of us has our own emotional level, to a certain degree it varies from each person to another. None of us (yes even you, yourself) has the viable or visible answer as we don't really know the real you and your gf, added with the expense and salary you're carrying & providing. At the end of the day, its about your survivability and future growth, be it yourself, together with your future wife or possibly the child.

Abortion is argued to be unethical and so does not providing the right shelter and protection for the child. Africa gives an insightful message towards this matter regarding child provision. IF you are able to see yourself as a good dad in the mere future, abortion would be the wild card. Its even worse when somehow during that period of nine months, your gf might somehow cannot take the immense stress and choose to abort. That time, your migraine will be equal to cancerous diseases + effects from chemotherapy.

Which is why, it isn't easy but hey its for nine months only plus years to come bearing the child's expense. I believe you know the math. Ask any parents, the biggest pocket hole in their wallet or trousers is due to children. If you're capable and envision yourself being able to provide the child, the right care that he or she needs, go ahead. You will get credits in the future. But if you can't at the moment, though its hard for me to say this, abortion MIGHT be the way. I use to against such crime, killing innocent fetus coming into this world. But can you measure the crime of how a broken family does to a child? I've seen such situations and sadness and it blows & shred my heart hard, harder than the crime of abortion sometimes. The question is, if you can't measure the degree of crime and the affect of an action that you made, you might as well don't question how ethical you must be from them on after making a decision.

Abortion or starting a family, neither of that matters. Its the post-decision that matters. There will be regrets in taking either decision, no doubt about that, but none of the regrets are larger than running away from the responsibility which i don't see any sign from you doing that.

Good luck to you. It depends so much on your characteristics.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Mar 24 2009, 10:05 AM

How you know it's a he?

What the foetus embryo should look like now



This post has been edited by PinkGenie<3: Mar 24 2009, 10:03 AM

Dont think only 4 urself, seek ur other half opinion, if she do agree to raise the child..be responsible. It must be a mutual decision..Bring it on to discuss....God Bless You>>

Haiya..Dun care what decision TC will choose. Who u can guaranty they both will stay together whole life? Both of them only 1 year together. Everything is not stable yet and easy to break up.

He already choose abortion. We only can wish him good luck.