I've read many comments stating that there is little we can do when our spouse strays and I beg to differ. Keeping in shape reflects one's attitude as well. It shows we aren't lazy and we take care of ourselves. It doesn't only improve our physical health, it improves our mental one as well. When you bring up the issue of wealth, the natural tendency is for people to relate it directly to material wealth, or money in it's physcial form. What's more important is that wealth reflects attitude as well. It shows that a person worked hard to make something of himself, and the wealth is the reward. These words are as evil as some make it out to be, especially when one bothers to put in a little more thought. Too often, people react without thinking.

Saying things like money matters is pretty much stating the obvious. Everything matters in its own rights. It is how much weight you put into the importance of these things in regards to choosing a relationship that counts. Relationship is about love. The more attention you put on external factors(looks, money etc) the further you are away from love. Then your relationship would be for the wrong reasons.

This post has been edited by teongpeng: Oct 3 2009, 05:41 PM

yeah...so true..

there ain't no ugly ppl in this world.
only ppl who are too lazy to keep up with their appearances and their health.

Unfortunately, I've come to find that life isn't a fairy tale. Whether or not we choose to ignore that economic factors do put strain on a relationship, is up to us. Is it cheap to buy a house, raise a kid, send him to college, etc? The answer is obvious indeed. Can a couple in poverty live happily together forever? I'm not going to spend too much time looking for the answer to that one. Given the choice, I'd rather do what I can to ensure I live happily together with my spouse confortably.

Again, your comments are based on looking at external factors as what they are. When I say looks, you see a strapping young man with a smouldering gaze. I see a well groomed individual who may not be the best looking guy around but puts in care and effort to ensure he looks neat. When I say wealth, you see of a stack of money. I see a man who wants to provide the best for his family, working hard at his job. I choose to focus on the reason a person works towards these external factors, instead of envying them for having them, trying to convince myself that they were lucky, or they must be pricks. I admire the attitude.

Do I believe in love? Of course but I also accept that a relationship can be stronger when you take care of the other more superficial elements of a relationship. I find it hard to believe that given a choice between two people who are exactly alike in terms of their character, we won't even consider the superficial element like looks.

Maybe I am in a relationship for the wrong reasons, I don't ask myself that question. I act on what I think is right, rather than sit around hoping I am. I've made mistakes in the past when it came to relationships and I'm making corrections. I'm not the most successful guy around but I have new found ambition in drive, something I never had during the earlier parts of my career. I've come to realise that for my circumstance to change, I must change.

This post has been edited by Duke Red: Oct 3 2009, 05:57 PM

Mind if i answer paragraph by paragraph?
Poverty is too extreme to be used as a point in this debate. I'm against the idea of going into a relationship by selling yourself to the highest bidder. Thats all.
Funny. its not like you to assume things and put words in other ppl's mouth. You usually show good sense and composure in your replies.Apa ni?.
Im actually looking at the points you brought up above from the same perspective as you. I also agree that instead of envy we should cultivate a desire to emulate other ppl's success by finding our own calling. Generally be the best we can be blablabla.
Yes to when you say relationships can be better when we take care of the superficial aspect. But relationships must start first. superficiality comes after. Not the other way around.

Your second point however is moot since, again, its stating the obvious. money beats no money. common sense beats no common sense. better looking beats lesser looking. etc etc...
Interesting. You are cool and all, but whats the relevance in regards to this discussion?

This post has been edited by teongpeng: Oct 3 2009, 06:20 PM

I'm not disagreeing but if you can do something to give yourself and advantage, why not? I was at what was possibly the lowest point of my life some 3 years ago. I had put on a lot of weight and was in a dead end job. Looking back all I did was beat myself up for it, not doing anything to improve my predicament. My girlfriend had left me a year into that and I was unable to start a new relationship for 2 years. Why? Well it could be that I just didn't appeal to anyone. I mean, I was somewhat overweight and I had a job with no real future. The bigger reason however was that I had no confidence in myself. It wasn't that I had no money because heck, I still don't! One day I got out of bed and decided to change my life around. I started getting active with sports again, watched my diet and changed careers. I lost weight and I have much better prospects at my place of work now. I had new found confidence and started dating again. Now, I won't be surprised if people misconstrue this all to be a boast. On the contrary I'm just sharing what I went through. If it can benefit someone, good. If not, then no harm was done.

My point? Although I earn a decent living, I don't have much money because I had just made a career change. Takes awhile to build up some mulah worth mentioning. Suddenly I had no problems with women, not like before. What changed? It wasn't because I had money all of a sudden. It was because of the effort I put into improving myself and my situation. Therefore, I think the thread title is misleading.



Cool.



I liken it to say preparing for a 100 metre dash. You invest some time to get in shape, and you train daily to get the best possible time. Same with the game of life if you ask me. You do what you have to do to best equip yourself. I'm not suggesting that money should be the basis for a relationship, it would be foolish for me to say so. Even if it were, I'd never want it to be the basis for mine.

Here's my point. If two people who were just as nice hit on a girl, the better looking one with more money stands a better chance. It would appear as though I'm stating the obvious if I were to end there, no? Yup. Just to add, what do you think the layman would say had he witnessed that courtship? That the guy with more money, and was better looking won because he is rich and handsome. Therefore, the girl has to be superficial and money minded. No, it could not be because he is genuinely also a nice guy with plenty else to offer. Ah my point; that the thread title, "girls are money minded" is misleading and innacurate. She may have looked beyond the money and looks, and saw a guy with drive, ambition, who takes care of himself and is therefore capable of taking care of her.

agreed

u don't understand love, hence your questions~ girls who go for money have nothing to do with love, they just want money~ money is not love, love isn't much related to money~ it's only in your mind~

do I need to repeat myself? when I'm in love, my tolerance do not increase much, the moment a girl tries to change me, I'm out~ if the girl would like to ask a favour, that's fine~ love isn't only about tolerance~ the moment u tolerate beyond your normal means, u become someone else, defeating the purpose of love; to be with someone who can accept u for who u are~

your baby is a product of your creation~ the poo that comes out of her is originally because u decided to have a baby in the first place~ don't put the whole responsibility on the baby~

whats up with the queer ~~~~ sign that you have all over your posts?

not all girls are. you think guys are not money minded? puhlease.

Cut it off la...Until now still talking about this topic =P
Every person different personalities~So if you happened to have a money minded gf, just accept it

I'm not being defensive, I am being offensive.

You are defending Moorish's brain fart by giving it a more positive spin than it deserves.

You will notice that Moorish herself, along with many of the women who promote the "money minded" lifestyle, are women who are incapable of earning the same type of money they expect their men to make.

Thus, if she and the others like her truly believed in the value of health, drive and ambition, SHE WOULD BE PRACTICING WHAT SHE PREACHES.

And you know, that's not a tall order. I've met women from here who do exactly this.

When women start to feel the urge to settle down and start a family they WILL start thinking about which men would best provide for one. Moorish's thread is NOT about this.

This thread was written with the absolute neglect of other qualities important for a healthy marriage or relationship, and it encourages the mercenary attitude of trading looks, youth and sex for the highest bidder, hence the instincts of most of the men here are correct when they decry her as just another type of prostitute.

Here is the thing:

Malaysian Chinese say things like "money minded is good" because we are MENTALLY ENSLAVED and understand LITTLE ELSE.

We don't understand the value of community. The majority of us do not understand the inner workings of true power because we have been kept apart from it. We don't even understand what humanity is. In their place, we absorb and repeat simple memes and ideologies like religion or whatever hell else we read from the newspapers. We are the number one consumerist race in the world, and also the most pliable to notions of hierarchy and superiority.

Threads like these show that as a people the Chinese of Malaysia have become by and large complete idiots only able to understand the lowest common denominators of intelligence.

In place of knowledge and understanding, we absorb hearsay, superstition and shallow notions of superiority based on class and race.

We are doomed. More and more of us are descending into ghettoes not just physical but mental, and we are staying there.

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Added on October 4, 2009, 3:42 amDuke, you defend the ideals behind this thread without understanding that it's a completely different perspective from your own.

You're saying that you started getting ahead and drawing people to you just by changing your attitude.

This is not what this thread is about. This thread is about what men should HAVE, not about who or what they are, and certainly not about their future because according to this thread it does not matter..

Go back and look through Moorish's posts here. In one post she tries to defend her ideology by saying that since a poor guy could cheat on her and use her just as likely as a rich man would, she would rather be cheated on by a rich man.

Moorish is not like you. She is the typical GHETTO CHINESE.

People like her WILL evaluate your worth based only on what you have, and how USEFUL you are to her. She doesn't give two shits about who you are or what your story is.

And believe me, that's not even worth upset or outrage over. Like will find like and people like her will attract exactly who she deserves.

But I'm more concerned about the men here. We are lied to and manipulated by all quarters of society on a daily basis. I shall lift the veil to reveal the lie, by means fair or foul.

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Added on October 4, 2009, 3:55 amDo you have rich friends?

I do.

They generally fall into one of two categories for the purposes of this thread:

1. Men who want to be appreciated for WHO they are, not for how useful to others they can be. In fact these men demand this.

2. Men who, in their minds, have accepted the reality that all women are whores and nothing more than glorified prostitutes for the depths they can go to just to chase what a "rich" man can provide. This can include money, a lavish lifestyle or even just DRUGS. Bear in mind that because these men came to be where they are through extreme effort and willpower, women like these will NEVER be viewed as peers.

If you're talking about attitude and mentality alone, rich men have basic commonalities with men who are not.

It's obvious that this thread is NOT about attitude or mentality.

----------------------

In summary, you and I both know what financial freedom and security can add to a man's life. It is for these reasons that men should pursue financial freedom and security.

NOT BECAUSE "GIRLS ARE MONEY MINDED AND PROUD OF IT".

If you want a hooker you can SNAP your fingers and get one. You don't have to marry or subordinate your will and entire life to their purposes. Which is exactly what Moorish's post is all about - a warped form of "girl power" from a ghetto Chinese. She knows this, and I know as well.

This post has been edited by Dickson Poon: Oct 4 2009, 04:14 AM

Lol. Purasu zen man.

Clear sign of you do not know what love is.


you sound like you've just lost a girl to a rich dude..
cool down

Honestly...not all girls money minded lar
Don't include everyone in while it's just urself being money minded

i got friends...rich family...pretty face...marrying ordinary guys oso
start doing cleaning and cooking for the first time of their lives after married...but they are happy

each and everyone has their own happiness factor
i'm happy to get just an ordinary guy too

they're rich, so the money is no more a factor.

I wish everyone can have fairytales marriage too, but can you do it in the real world?

Rich friends? I do indeed. In fact, my closest circle of friends are all business owners, which is what spurred me to want a good career. A couple of them I would term as super rich e.g. has a few cars, owns several properties like shopping malls, and various other developments.

I agree with your points.

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Added on October 4, 2009, 3:33 pmI actually know a couple of women who think the way you do. Their ambition in life is to find a rich husband who supports them so they don't have to work another day in their life. In fact, a friend of mine recently got married to such a women. She quit her job right after they got married and I've no idea what she does daily.

From what the rest are saying it seems you equate security to material wealth alone. That's just sad if you ask me but to each his own.

This post has been edited by Duke Red: Oct 4 2009, 03:33 PM

Congratulations! You've just accepted marriage and rejected the existence true love, woohoo!

Now that's a way to live!

Pure survival in the world!

With only financial responsibilities and marriage matters in life!

With no need for true love!

Booyah!

NO LOVE NEEDED! Because if we need love, we gotta make sure love comes with what...?

Money! Of course! It's money!

Hurrah!

This post has been edited by Deadlocks: Oct 4 2009, 09:56 PM

very clear sign that you don't know what love is~ I don't know what u sound like coz I only see words in LYN forum~

lemme ask you something....since love is the aim and money is of no concern in fairytales

if I love a guy very very very much totally head over heels, but he's a bum, jobless 80% of the time,
Do you think I should marry him and struggle in the name of love?

a more practical question would be how long do you think the marriage would last after my baby is born?

This post has been edited by moorish: Oct 4 2009, 11:16 PM