No, that's not the meaning of compromise. It doesn't mean you have to give in, it means both sides give in. If one is always giving and the other is always demanding, that's not called compromise.

+1. Agreed. Besides, it's very unfair to the one who is on the giving side. In the end of the day, what's the meaning of the relationship, if it continues to be like that?

The word COMPROMISE is not enough. Top it up with the word RESPECT. Why? Because everyone of us have values in Life, and one MUST respect each other's values.

Anyways, Merry Christmas and a Happy new year.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 07:29 PM

Happy Christmas everyone! It's my first Christmas in 4 years without her, and it will be alright.

she always tries to this. She ask all weird question. Then one person will come out and flame her and u see how ridiculous replies u will get. U see like there is an argument but actually guess who started it?

This post has been edited by aspire2oo6: Dec 24 2009, 08:16 PM

Compromise? It takes both parties to work it out together. Is there such a thing call against the principle? I think that is quite a ridiculous question to ask anyone, isn't it? How much willing a person sacrifice towards whatever principle the person holds, it is all depends on the situation, environment and so on, it does not mean one will not do now but will never do it in the future. Furthermore, what is the point to know if how much willing a person to go to give in into a relationship? Do not tell me it is for measurement purpose, is there such a thing to be measured in relationship?

nlgoh, so how was the meet up? I think I am quite happy and also enjoy my life for now. Honestly if now ask me again if I will want to be with him again or not, I will answer straight off the face, NO! He called and we had a talk, he was surprised with my current progress at work and career but I did not bother much. He seems to pretend to forget the things he left with me on the other day, and now I just want to get rid of it because I do not want extra thigns in my room but not having the intention to meet him more often anymore!

geekster thank you! Merry Christmas to you too! I can foresee I am going to have a great 2010 for everything that I've planned out for myself. I am looking forward to carry out a better year for myself with all the goals and achievements I've set up few days ago. I noticed that when I was with him, it seems everything that I've planned were all related to him, and I was wondering how could I breath when I did not reserve any room for myself. Somewhat I think he is going to miss me due to the Christmas present that I've given to him. Anyway, I shall let him suffers a bit.

So what if she keeps on asking you to compromise, but she doesn't compromise you? How would you response? Mind to share your view?

Are you refering to me? Why would you dare not to quote my post? Dare to criticize might as well dare to admit.

Secondly, you will never see me flame those who stands "normal" and "wise" values like geekster129 has. Or is it you are too blind to differenciate? Am not beginning a flame war with you here. If you want to flame me, please do so, but not here. Thanks.

I think my views has been answered by a few members here, so probably I'm just repeating the points.

Have a great Christmas, debbieyss.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 25 2009, 03:36 AM

Nah i am not refering to you. I am refering to someone within the community.
And i use logic to show and i scare that person cant handle the truth. So cheers.

Always remember if you are too blind it doesnt apply to everyone else except only yourself.

I haven't got the idea yet.

I get what noobie means. I just want to know how would you response if she keeps on demanding and she doesn't compromise.

Maybe I'm too noob, mind to re-explain?

This post has been edited by debbieyss: Dec 25 2009, 03:38 AM

I have and got to be honest with her if her demands were too extreme. Let's just face it. You treated your GF very very good and are willing to compromise for her. What if,
one day, you have fallen sick or you need someone very badly by your side to support your broken down emotions, and your GF will turn to you and say "I'm feeling bad too.. why don't you come and sayang me instead?"



I was skimming through the word "Compromise" in UrbanDictionary.com and this is what they define:

is when both parties plan to cooperate so they both can be satisfied and have their separate needs met

E.g Usage: In order for a marriage to work you have to compromise.

This is in-line with what n00b13 mentioned about the right way couples should compromise. It's not a one-man job.

The amount of compromise that one is willing to give also shows how matured the person is when dealing with any situations in the particular relationship. It shows how you think about the consequences and how you care about people's feelings before making any decisions.

Unfortunately, debbie, what I'm saying here is still something general and what I'll roughly do. I couldn't give you a definite answer, because in the end of the day, it boils down to the type of girl you are meeting and the way of communication is totally different from one girl to another.

Just my 2cents point of view. Wouldn't mind getting flamed. I'm learning something new every day.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 25 2009, 03:57 AM

Noted. Thanks for your detailed explaination as well as your views.

Unfortunately, somehow we will love someone who doesn't compromise and left only us who "do the work". I'm just thinking: the reason he doesn't want to compromise is merely he isn't really into you.

So the there are 2 ways to deal with it: accept the fact and continue the relationship, or, break up.

i am not doing well...

the first few days i will weep and sleep through it.

yesterday i tried to go out and work, my mind keep on flashing back.

i cried a few times, when i reach home, i straight burst into big tears.

then i went to sleep. I am not feeling any better.

I read this post again and again and again and I thought I have moved on.

but the next few hours i am not doing so. izzit because the wound is still so fresh?

Hi toccatina, I understand how your mind is flashing back and thinking about all the sweet moments in the past. I know it's not easy to keep your mind focused when the wound is still fresh, but doesn't mean it cannot be done.



I don't know if this works for you, but this is what I did between the breakup period until I finally managed to let go and move on:

1. Distract yourself by doing things that you like;
2. Enjoy being single and be proud of it;
3. Enlarge your circle of friends and find those who share the same interests as you;
4. Find someone to talk to and someone who listens to you whenever the "flashback" occurs again.

At this period, friends and family support is very important. Like in point 4, it's better if you voice it out rather than keeping inside your heart and weep. It will take some time to work, but you are going to feel really darn good after that.

I think reading the posts wouldn't be quite sufficient. Why don't you try to participate in this thread and have a discussion with the members here and as we move on, we can give you advice.

I wish you all the best in everything and hope that you are happy always.

Since geekster is here sharing, I also post up some of my experience after the break up.

After the break up I was very down but I occupied myself with very heavy workload, and I tried to get back to my old friends who were there for me all the while until I hurt them so badly. I confessed to them about everything in my mind at that moment even I cried in front of everyone but I just could not bother much.

I spoke to him, to make myself a very clear picture and as well to ensure I do not hold anything towards him anymore. After that I took a day down to slack while I was flashing back everything ever since I was small, then I list down all my dreams since small, as well the goals I wanted to achieve in my life. After listing out everything, I started to make plan for myself. I think "myself" this word is very useful and important because it helps me to realize it is so important for me to love myself and plan things for myself first.

Since I have some goals, I just put all my energy and focus towards them and meanwhile I enjoyed the companion from my friends. I do not bother how tired it was, but I just went out with them whenever I can. I did not wait for them to call me, I went to them instead. I know there is nothing will come to us without any effort at all.

I did not depend on my family because I am not the type will share sad news with them but I told my parent that I am all fine when they got the news of the break up. After all, it was not that pain at all.

Trust me, do not try. Never ever try but please, just do it. Some times you think this might help and you just think to try it, it does not work at all. You shall leave all your thoughts behind and go for it. No matter what it is, as long as it does not harm yourself and people around you, at all cost, go for it.

How long you want to take your time to cry over for someone, is you to decide. We will still be here to share as much as we can but we can never force you to stop crying. If you want to cry, yes go ahead to cry it all out loud. I did that too, I stand in front of the mirror, told myself just today I was given a chance to cry as much as I can, let it be the next day my eyes would swallow like an egg, just cry but not anymore after that. I will only drop my tears now for the real sad people like orphans or any dead cases rise in my family or else, too happy.

In the first post of Baronic said is very true, don't think and try, just do

give and take by both parties..

that's wat will make a relationship work better.

This post has been edited by vivienne85: Dec 25 2009, 08:00 PM

Emotion is part of our life. It beats like a rhythm of different sound. Neither have you liked it or not. The beat is still "ON"

"Keep on Walking"

Hope you catch the meaning.

hey, can someone please explain "to let go of a relationship" does that mean that ever in the future there's no chance of getting back together already? or any hope left?

thanks.

if you're still holding out for the future hoping he'll come back means u havent let him go.

Letting go means accepting that its over, whatever will be will be. Dont even consider for now the future, getting back together as that will only cloud your ability to get over him. Just get over him for now. in the future, who knows, things happen.

I am still struggling from what happend 3 months ago.

looking forward to a new year though