I totally agree with when you are in love with someone, love him/her with all your heart. Put in efforts to make the relationship interesting, maintain the attractions between the two of you. Never be too comfortable, and you will start to take things for granted. You will see him/her as a companion, not a lover anymore. Be passionate to her, be romantic to her, don't be afraid and don't be stingy to tell her and show her your love.

Being too comfortable with each other, eventually it will end in both going separate ways. Always remember this!

We do not have to forget, we just have to get over it. Mine is still fresh, 1 month plus, but as you have said, time will heal everything. Wonder if it was a mistake to have loved someone so deeply.

Seriously, find a new hobby or something you have always wanted to do. Start reading books if the last book you have read is one year ago. Go out jogging everyday. Call up friends you have been neglecting. Go out with your siblings for movies.

I started learning Wing Chun after my breakup. It helps.

I have found a post below online after my breakup, and it makes me feel good to know there are people out there who will go through the same things as me. Hope it helps.

What to expect when you get dumped!

I was sure that absolutely no one in the world had ever, or would ever, experience the pain that I was feeling after my break up. Funny. On the internet, I found a virtual world full of folks who have gone through and experienced the same things and felt the same feelings that I did. That helped a lot.

So, for all you newbies who ask the questions, "Will the hurting ever stop," or "Will my ex come back," or "Why did he/she do this," this is how it typically goes down.

You two break up--doesn't matter who does it. You immediately panic and begin chasing, begging, pleading, harrassing, phoning, e-mailing, IMing, stalking (okay not all of them, just pick whichever one you did). Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months.

You lose weight. You neglect yourself, your house, your job (how many hours do we all log on this site while we are at work?). You drive your friends and family crazy talking about the break up. You cry at the drop of a dime. You can't even comprehend that your life might not again include that "special person." You begin putting them on a pedestal, forgetting all of the nagging things about them that used to drive you crazy. In your mind, they have become omnipotent, all encompasing, all everything.

You convince yourself that you are a loser who just screwed up a relationship with "the best person in the world." You KNOW without a doubt that you will never EVER love like that again. You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex (excuse me while I chuckle to myself here). You wear a sad face for the world to see (you should see my work ID taken 2 days after my breakup, it's just pitiful).

They (the ex's) remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those that do leapfrog, they appear to just "replace" you with a new model. All of the things you two used to do, they now do with someone else. Bowling, cuddling watching television, motorcycle riding, antiquing. Whatever you two did, likely they will just begin doing those things with someone new.

You hear about them and their new life. You are desperate for any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back--yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.

For those of us who do still have contact with our ex's we begin selling ourselves short. Doing stupid things like allowing them access to our bodies and then wanting to strangle them afterward when they remind us that "Sex does not imply hope."

You, in further panic mode, begin frantically searching the internet using phrases such as "break ups," "divorce stopper," whatever. You stumble upon this site, because your curious and lo and behold, you find all of us folks in various stages of this whole breakup bullsh*t.

You voraciously read the posts. You search for news of those who "got their mates back." You're on the site constantly. You'll read the books and think "Ah I can do this. I can get this person back." You begin your "no contact" and for some of us, this will get a reaction from our ex's. For the rest, no contact is and will continue to be what you'll get and receive.

Time goes by. You'll do some stupid things. You'll call your ex when you shouldn't. You'll call when you've had to much to drink. You'll call even after 50 people on this site tell you not to. You'll show up on their doorstep, hating yourself all the time. Then you'll come back to this site and ask everyone to tell you why you were so stupid as to do whatever it was you did.

Then you'll get serious about no contact. This is where you LET GO , It'll hurt, but you try to stick to it. Here's the turning point for most. For those folks who have contact with their ex's, your no contact will either bring them sniffing curiously around or they'll be somewhere high fiving their friends thanking the God's that you haven't called.

Now's the tough time. Nothing but time works. Everday the ache in your heart grows a little less. It's only nanobits that it dies down by. But everyday it will get slowly better. You'll have setbacks. You'll run into your ex accidently. You'll run into mutual friends who'll tell you something about your ex that'll have you high-tailing it home for a good cry. You'll see your ex with their new "friend." You'll receive a phone call or an e-mail from your ex who "doesn't want to be in a relationship but still wants to be friends (with benefits if you allow).

Here's another important part. You need to truly sit down and truthfully look back at the relationship and understand what you did to help with it's demise. If you miss this part, you go through all the suffering for nothing because Buddy, you'll be back here again. This site is to teach you about you. To teach you how to be a better partner, a better person. Missing that lesson is detrimental to the whole process. It's the REASON that you're going through this. God (or whatever your higher power is) needed you to learn something about YOU. Don't miss out on the lesson.

Then one day you'll smile because you didn't immediately check your answering machine when you came in. And one day you'll decide to clean the muck that has accumulated in your house. And one day you'll go outside and admit to the universe that you surrender what control you thought you had.

And one day you'll decide to date again. And one day you'll go out on your first date and it will likely be a disaster. And then you'll either force yourself to continue dating or you'll decide that you aren't ready to date but you are ready to be out amongst people again. And many of you will have some quick reconcillations with your ex's. Many of us won't. But one day, it won't matter as much. Because time will allow you to catch yourself going minutes and then hours without thinking of the ex. And you'll begin to be able to think of life possibly without that person and not dissolve into a puddle of nothingness because of the thought.

And for most of us, sadly, life will go on without that mate. That's the truth, amigos. Don't want to dash your hopes but probably less than 3% of the people on this site get back with their mates. Sobering isn't it? But, as the site instructs, you must accept this before you can truly begin to heal or draw your ex back to you. For the lucky (maybe unlucky one's depending on how much work it will take to keep a mate that has wandered back) who get back with their ex's, many will find that the paradise they envisioned isn't reality and what they once thought was gold has a certain tarnish to it now. But they stay and try and make it work because it's comfortable or, if they are really lucky, it's meant to be.

But for most of us. Life goes on. And one day you'll find yourself having a gut busting laugh over something totally stupid and you'll think to yourself "I am getting better." And finally (thank God) you'll have sex with some new and find that a) if it wasn't good, at least you did it or b) it was so much better than with your ex you wonder why you waited so long to get back out there. And you'll know you're one the road to recovery.

I guess what I'm trying to convey here is, while each situation is unique, the characteristics of most of our situations are the same. Most of us will go through at least something that I've written here. So, when someone tells you on this site that time will help you get through it, believe them. When they tell you that "trust me, it will get better and you will stop hurting eventually," believe them. And when they give you good advice that your head understands but your heart rejects, take a moment to think before you react.

Don't beat yourself up if you do something that you wished you hadn't (calling, contacting, etc) WE ALL DID AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. And most of all remember that being happily single is an alternative. Even if society is beating it into your head that you MUST have a mate, take some time to heal before going back out there. There are plenty of good people to love, but don't go back out there broken, jaded about love, etc. Accept realty. Experience the pain. Learn the lesson. Actively try to heal. Remember the person you were when you first met your ex and get that person back.

And the universe will take care of the rest."

Don't be rash into getting a rebound guy. If you get the guy just to get over your ex, eventually you will dump the guy and put the guy in your position now. Go and do something you have always wanted to do, but never did because of tons of excuses.

Keep this in mind, you want your ex in your life, but you do not need your ex to live on. Without the ex, you will still wake up the next day, and the day after, and so on. You will survive. You only need yourself, so learn to love yourself. Now you can concentrate on loving the person who has always been there for you. Yourself.

Eventually, with time, you will realize whether you still want your ex, or you just miss the notion of having a boyfriend. Then you can make decision and take action from there.

Remember this, it is never your fault. We all tend to blame ourselves for the breakup, but when you calm down and think back, you will realize it is not. To get over it, the first thing to do is to get over feeling sorry for yourself and stand back on your feet. With or without him, you will still survive. So start doing things that you like or always wanted to try out. It is a good time to start.

Happy Christmas everyone! It's my first Christmas in 4 years without her, and it will be alright.

Just saw some of her pictures on facebook, although deleted her, but suddenly show from common friend's page. Happy to know that she's doing fine, sad at the same time knowing she's doing fine without me. Man, still miss her a lot, tho it's been 6 months, this feeling sux.

The first one is the deepest, but the next one will be better. =]

Probably that's why people say most of us don't end up with the person we love the most. I guess it is all about the timing of the person showing up in our life. The person most suitable to you might not be the person you love the most.

But some time, it is a bliss to be with someone who loves you more.

Wish her the best, she still has to sort it out herself, but it is good she has you to talk to. But I think it is wrong to have any violence in the relationship, regardless of the reasons.

Take it easy winnie and let things sort out themselves. You've been a great help and they must really appreciate it, no need to make the problem your own.

Keep smiling, you look better when you smile.

Happy Tiger New Year guys and gals, this Feb 14 I'm alone but not alone, glad two celebrations on the same day. =]

@suffa, from the day you decided to let go, you should not see her, talk to her, or even think of her. Occupy yourself with other things, no point wanting to stay as friend when you really wanted more.

One day, when you wake up and really don't care anymore, that's the time when you are ready to be friends again.

Do yourself a favor, forget about him, you have wasted enough time on that guy, it's time to get your life back. Don't go begging for a second chance, it never works out that way. Everyone who reads this thread been through what you are going through now, you are not alone. Be strong, give yourself some time, and give yourself a chance. Read the earlier posts in this thread, hopefully it can give you some inspirations to get over the toughest part. We all survive heartbreak, then we come back stronger. Best wishes to you.

Try not to answer his call. When he messaged, wait one day only reply, or don't reply at all. Stay strong and give yourself some time. You may sulk for a few weeks, it's ok to mourn for the relationship. Then, start to do some things for yourself. Try out new activities and meet new friends. Don't be afraid, there are people out there waiting to get to know you. Cheer up!

For all dumpees who were told 'I don't have the same feeling for you as before anymore', screw the dumper. The heartache will go away in a few months, then you will come back stronger, because you deserve better.

It really doesn't matter if he/she is not around anymore, you will still survive. No point hanging on, hoping he/she will change their mind, NO!! Because you will guarantee meet someone better, just give yourself some time.

I haven't talked to or seen my ex for almost one year already. Because it really doesn't matter, and i don't care anymore, after the pain heals. Take care of yourself, guys and girls, someone is waiting for you to recover and ready to meet them.

I have realized that when the partner wanted to break up, and they are not saying it because of throwing a tantrum, he/she has already made up their mind a few months before. So in fact, they have had months to think it over thoroughly. During those months, if you are unable to pick up the signals and start to have talks over it, when he/she threw you the bomb, normally it's over.

To you, it is out of the blue. To them, the decision is quite clear, all they need to do is get over the guilt, that's all.

It is always easy for the dumper, whether being a girl or a guy. The dumpee needs to stay strong, like slushie said, past the denial stage, you'll learn to accept it. Then, you will realize that, you might still want him/her, but you don't need him/her to live your life. You deserve better.