That's why I asked op to dm me if he wants contacts for medical abortion.

I always believe there should always be an option to get a proper safe abortion in Malaysia. Don't care about the spiritual side of it. Better than bleeding out in the toilet and dying cuz of stigma

Sorry to read about what happened.

Vasectomy is less invasive than tube tying: men are fertile THEIR WHOLE LIVES while women are only fertile few days a month for x number of years.

It also sounds like you don't have much time left to make a decision one way or the other. If you say you cannot afford a second child, it means you cannot afford, don't let others here tell you otherwise; they dunno your financial situation, neither are they gonna help pay for it. Kids are expensive nowadays. If you want, great; if don't want, you don't have a lot of time...

The Donahue-Levitt hypothesis states that children who are unwanted or whose parents cannot support them are likelier to become criminals.... Controversial, sure, but...

LPPKN/Klinik Nur charges are not too bad, you should look into it, especially the vasectomy charges...

But at the end of the day, it's your family's (you and spouse) decision to make.

I'm saying this as someone who doesn't want kids at all, so ymmv.

Several famous individuals were unwanted children, including musicians like John Lennon and Faith Hill, and actress Nicole Kidman.

John Lennon: His parents separated when he was five, and he was raised by his aunt and uncle. 

Faith Hill: She was adopted as an infant and later became a renowned country music star. 

Nicole Kidman: She experienced an unplanned pregnancy and went on to become a celebrated actress. 

Steve Jobs: His biological parents gave him up for adoption. 

Marilyn Monroe: She spent time in foster care and experienced an unstable childhood. 

Jamie Foxx: He was raised by his grandparents after his parents divorced. 

Maya Angelou: She faced a challenging upbringing and later became a celebrated poet and author. 

Kristin Chenoweth: She was adopted as a baby and found success as a Broadway star. 

Bill Clinton: His father passed away before he was born. 

Jesse Jackson: He was born to a teenage mother and faced social stigmas. 

Edgar Allan Poe: His mother died when he was young, and he was taken in by the Allan family. 

Sheryl Crow: She had an unplanned pregnancy and later became a successful musician. 

Tom Cruise: He had a difficult childhood and experienced family instability. 

Ted Danson: He was adopted and later became a well-known actor. 

This post has been edited by hzmaz2017: Jul 31 2025, 02:18 PM

me still w8 to get the baby..

These are exceptions, not the rule.
.
Also, some of the people you named dropped here turned out to be assholes who ended up mistreating/neglecting their wife and kids, etc, so the point is moot.

Go ikat la. Later you got a 3rd den don’t make noise.

keep the baby...
after delivered, consult your doctor for pills...
the doctor will advise which pill to take base on your wife status..
this can help prevent unwanted pregnancy

Keep the baby.
Find a way to increase income.

I had similar exp like u before. Accident the 2nd. Pushed me to get out of comfort zone and find new better paying job

my youngest son was unplanned, really 1 time pancut then get anyway we planned to have 2 children, so we keep it then tutup kilang but no ikat la. i wanted to ikat but waifu said dun. coz she want daughter if got hope. for me 2 enough already... life isn't easy nowadays with inflation but gaji barely go up.

1 that i very scared already is i had to feed midnight "snack"... really feel the pinch after 2 kids and i also aging.

do i regret? despite life really not much freedom, you have to take care both, not much saving, enough to scrap by after paying all stuffs only can bring staycation or travel nearby states, you have to discipline 2 instead of 1... youngest may be a slow learner and more manja... but in the end, no regret.

Stay the course. Don't give up hope. Also, did the both of you think about putting the baby up for adoption with relatives?

Thank you, Bro.

Don't forget to record your baby's laughter. That laughter is the most genuine laugh you will ever see.

Mine 2nd unplanned too but wanted just didnt expect too fast. 1st and 2nd exactly 2 years and 2 days different.

i'm a bit confused, on one hand the gynae told you possible through surgery here And have to do it before second trimester.
on the other hand, advised we don't have medical abortion in Malaysia.

anyway, how long still before you need to make a decision? of course dont leave it last minute la. when you decide time maybe doc not free.
i do believe there is abortion service but its not exactly illegal.

I believe the doc I went to have. but you may have to ask discreetly.
its around setapak, let me know if you need so i can tell you where and you take it from there.

you are right with the concern and like another forumer say, ppl can say whatever they say about your finance. you know better.
even my previous comment dont really encourage abortion but you know best.

maybe can consider giving the baby to someone to adopt no harm

adding another cost alot of money, time, energy and attention plus in today economy very risky

Wtf cost. Dont get kids if u not planning to get two at least. Kesian the poor kid growing up alone. Then alone handle funeral of both parent. U guys never went through taking care old bed ridden ppl talk cock about cost.

Selfish ppl get kid just to unlock achievement. When u talk about only enough money n attention for 1 kid, u are choosing easy life for YOURSELF not for your kid.

A research study published in the 2025 World Happiness Report that a household size of about four members is predictive of higher happiness levels. People in these households enjoy abundant and very satisfactory relationships.

The family is where people first learn to care for and share with others, creating the foundation for broader social interactions and for wellbeing.

The family works as a reference for how people interact with others in their life.

Families are associated with close, warm, and genuine relationships that last for long stretches in people’s journey in life.

Ref : https://mentalhealthcenterkids.com/blogs/ar...ffect-happiness

there's medical abortion, but have to take the pills very early on

Are you able to demand ie. having at least a degree or professional cert etc with great amount of experience? Find a better job, that should mean a better pay.

Obviously no more vacations every year but, find anything of, equivalent. Instead of going for a vacation, considering staycation etc. Spend more time with your kids in the pool, role playing with your kids at home, briskwalking together during car free morning etc. You don't have to fork out money just to be happy.

Of course minus the day care fees, kids food etc lah. Tell you what, we spend alot on eating outside food actually. So cook at home, a simple one will do.

wow, kids dont cost money