you married a gold digger. I'm not surprised because there are many ladies like this usually among millennials or gen z.

I see many people these days during courting time, the guys splurge on the girl, buying many gifts, paying for every meal. the girl doesn't do the same. It's OK not to expect from someone whom you love BUT when you get married, you'll have lots of commitments, your house loan, car loan, health expenses, expenses for the baby, education, food, groceries, utility bills. It's a different ball game altogether. If the girl does not chip in because she carried her behaviour from the courting stage, that's not wife material. Incidentally, the prettier ones usually have this attitude.

This post has been edited by abhipraaya: May 8 2024, 02:29 PM

That's her problem then. You've done your best. In fact she didn't accept who you are. Then why still take you and complain this and that.

You've done way too much for her. She will know it's her loss one day.

That's why I say. Put aside money. It's alignment of thinking. Same level can be happy.

Many things on the surface cannot be trusted. We only see what we wish to have. Every family has its own problem.

Seek peace in everything you pursue. Be it single or married. If someone brings chaos in the relationship then it's time to ciao.

She's also another problem. Why is she a full time housewife but you're doing most of the housework.

Either or is painful. Choose your pain. I know some men who got vasectomy couldn't leave their marriage as they love their kids too much.

yes maybe i did. glad i am free from those illogical request as of now. it keeps my mind healthy.

about buying gifts and stuffs, i also realised now that each birthday i threw her a small party and got her gifts. i received none in return and usually the birthday wishes is almost on the middle of the day lol.

this last bolded part here is kind of true. but i liked her way before we physically meet and those times there are no handphones with camera etc.

yes i have accepted it now. it bring peace to me. there are other ways to enjoy life. now, i always plan the week with my son.

Maybe go marriage counseling.

kids how old? Not easy jaga kids and the house. House work is the most insane monotonous repetitive shit that will drain your soul. Everyday without skip must take cloth masuk washing machine, wait 1hour+ then hang them all. Chase after the sun, beware of rains and to collect them as soon as dry else those cloths become damp when the weather cools suddenly. On top of that got kids at home ur sink forever has some stuff waiting to be cleaned, slack a bit the whole sink will become like gunung there. Other than that u need to plan groceries, plan what to cook, keep track of kids enrichment classes, school progress and attend to their daily request.

At the same time housewife social circle also damn limited compared to your work place. They daily interact with kids. The adults around them aint normal either, cos they will be similar housewife or educators (honestly in malaysia the teacher all got very bad ppl skill).

Finally those housewife will always feel "trapped". Cos everything they do will revolve around the kids/family. Totally no time to do whatever fuck they want. You can go snake at work place, go social with kolik. They have very limited options cos need jaga kids. At night need to be like prostitute attend to ur sexual need no matter how tired. worse if u sour face her and question her "what did u do whole day?".

And remember, housewife basically got no retirement fund. No EPF. Their fate is solely on ur hands. You can divorce her when she is 50s' . if u are cruel enough u can bankrupt her through divorce proceeding just so she give up on lengthy battle to claim half ur asset. because she literally has no savings for lawyer unless u give her bonus cash in her own name occasionally. Everything she has will be solely from u. It's not the type of life u will call secure. Which also the reason why housewife non stop asking for this n that, they just want to feel appreciated but using the wrong method.

As a house husband I am starting to get depress now

But as a person who had gone through shit, I know I can survive even with 0 everything

This post has been edited by B0ss_ku: May 8 2024, 03:22 PM

Kids are 8 and 12. yes i agree housework is never easy since i do most of it including cleaning the rooms and ironing. we live with my parents so basically most of the house work is done by my mother. we only settle our own room. we do have dryer but she decided not to use it as she claim it will damaged the clothes which i dont mind. kids spend most of the time outside and transport is all well taken care of by me and my parent since they working nearby the school.

I agree work do have more time for social and i do not stop her from going out. she goes out occasionally with her friends.

yes she doesnt have EPF which is why i subscribed for i-sayang which transfer partial of my EPF to her to safeguard her future.

my problem is she will always ask me to go all out to do more side business to earn more and stop hesitating and stop planning. Just do it first but my heart keep asking what if it failed badly and affect our whole family since im the sole breadwinner.

She doesnt bother about money and buy what she deem needed. pricing was never her priority. Thats why my credit card that i borrowed her owe more than 15k and i have insisted this is her own spending she needs to own up to it. i have paid a lot in the past but enough is enough. she rather just pay the minimum amount every month and take her own sweet time to clear it.

I have pretty much sharing on this.

My parents divorced because
1) father had affair, not responsible for work always dream earn big end up owe a lot debt
2) mother was so into her own sad world and keep instruct the children (hence me and other sib when we were still very small) to scold father with whatever rude word she like to hear.

Dragged this broken marriage (at least 20yrs from the day it broken) until the day I financially independent already (means i already matang come out work earn own living). i get a lawyer, arrange go court and have them officially divorced. I'm so fed up with this stupid broken thing (father talk bad to me about mother, mother talk bad to me about father)

I love both my parents, but i hate their never-ending fight which most of the time involve the children. (love my siblings because we go through up and down together)

my comment, please divorce if things cant work out well, the longer it drag, suffer are on the children only. and yes, involve children in the fight is already very wrong at the first place. Really ruin the childhood badly.

Now here is the problem when you say it's normal because the environment generalize it (classmate also consist of divorce parents).

In future, all these kids won't take marriage oath seriously. They can just sign the paper and divorce when they deem it fit.

Which makes me conclude that most of divorce case come from broken family background. their parents divorce, to them divorce is a "norm" too.

From my POV, I will never allow my child to have any romantic relationship with broken family kids. I nurture them well, end up become broken. what's the point then?

Welcome back.

it's you to teach them marriage is a serious matter, not for you to decide who they end up marrying.

some intact families have more dark secret than those who made peace and chose divorce.

Do you mean broken family kid as in single parent?

How is having a relationship or even marrying a single parent child, gonna make your child end up become broken?

Care to share your view?

This post has been edited by jojolicia: May 8 2024, 04:27 PM

How do you know that the "friend" who divorced was from a broken family background?

oh please. You were young once, you know how it feels to fall in love right?

some even goes to extend disowned their parents but last last crawl back seek forgiveness when shit hits the fan.

Now you come tell me parents not enough educating them? I rather go preventive way.

I am happily married for 16 years and I think divorces are normal in society

One should not view it as taboo or a ‘problem’, I for one cannot understand why it should be frowned upon

This post has been edited by Lembu Goreng: May 8 2024, 04:12 PM

She just having a screwed mindset to conclude all child from broken family will tend to end up in divorce in future and will not take marriage seriously. Divorce can happen for many reasons even Roger Kwok also recently just divorced. As for Andy Hui can survive because his spouse chose to forgive based on her religion teaching.




But nowdays like what been said by some here, if the boy no money poor already will kick him away already !!

This post has been edited by Accord2018: May 8 2024, 04:24 PM

problem isn't everyone were young once. problem is you put 'death sentence' on all kids from divorced family.

mostly divorce happen because of money issue or betrayal issue punya. cannot run away much. Or at older age, no more feelings liao like Roger Kwok case.
Is it Roger kwok and Wang lee Hom from broken family? zz

want to share my story brief and short, not good in writing essay

im a divorcee and just remarried not long ago

i married young age 21, cos pregnant. ex not working. i work alone to support the family. bought low cost property and move out from in law house.
ex changed became abusive and disrespect to me after he found job. tahan 8 yrs. cannot tahan any longer. divorce
i moved out from my own house, kid follow ex and MIL. and i rent far away, changed job and start all over again. every week met my kid bring go jalan.
(after several police report) because my ex refuse to let me see my kid.

met my current husb at new place. initially planning not to have kid cos i fobia already. YOLO
We stay in as couple for 9 years, never have big arguments, no shouting, we discuss and fix issue openly, we share chores, we share bills, we share hobby.
we share everything. and just recently i decide to open my heart for a family again. we got married recently and planning to have 1 kid only. haha

as for my gal, she grow up and we are like sister now

my advice, not all divorce are bad.
no use to maintain a marriage if no love and respect for each other. it will just make the couple and kid to suffer more.