whats your opinion on divorce?

at what point you decide to divorce?

how do u feel for your children?

pls share coz i never met one in my circle.

No opinion…. It’s a matter between 2 adult parties.

I have a pair of classmates, both doctors from Uni who got married, had kids, and now are separated but we still have both of them over for our Uni group gatherings…

This post has been edited by hksgmy: May 7 2024, 10:23 PM

how old their children when they separated ?

Quite small still - year (primary) 4 and year 7 (around secondary 1) they are based in Australia)

I'm married and childless as a orphan long time ago since age of 9 to be honest i have no experience how the life look like if divorce

But i can tell you how the feel like when parents after divorce

I'm abandoned from my own family if you ask me how i feel i have no idea as a children i only know that a 360 degree change literally become 天生天养 other than orphanage is my temporary roof and shelter

I only know my parents divorce because of my father business and stock failed until no way to turning back probably due to greedy that all i can describe

Probably children nowadays have a better life than me compared to last Time if parents nowadays after divorce

All i can say once you have the planning tak kisah you divorce or not, keep the children or not once your heart no longer there just let it go faster faster rather than create more harm .

Well, we have a couple of people that are divorced from reality in /k….

(Edited - apparently, the original message was considered inappropriate and had insulted the sensitivities of a certain segment of the forum users) - for that, my apologies.



This post has been edited by hksgmy: May 8 2024, 09:09 AM

how u define "heart no longer there" ?

About the children, pls keeps matters between adults stay between adults.

There's no need to act any different if you love them, and your responsibilities remain the same.

Marriage might not work, but the family remains.

hello there

i got divorced last december after 6 years of marriage. we were childhood friend and i've known her since i was 11 from an online game we used to play together. i am now 32 and she is 34.

1) at the point where i see there is no change of heart from my ex-wife after i tried to fix everything for almost a year

2) we did try to hold on for our son who is now 5yo. but some things are not fixable anymore.

3) Yes there will be lots changes in our life. But we keep the things between us only. We are now co-parenting and we took turn caring for him. usually i spend the
week with him and he went to his mother on the next one.

4) Financially became unstable for me because previously we shared the bills together. So now it is 100% on me it hit me like a truck. One of the reason of my
divorce is due to my inability to earn more and provide a better living condition to my family.

5) it felt bad so bad during the early days, when i had no one to talked to. i've had sleepless nights and all. now i started accepting it and it slowly calmed me down.
currently i am staying at my friend house as he let me stay to finish the edah period. Although i am overstaying for a bit because i am fixing my old house.


My opinion: Divorce should not be a a bad thing to begin with. but we in Malaysia had always been a certain view on it. it could mean a fresh start or anything.
Sometimes, things just don't work out they way we expected it to be.

This post has been edited by EmpireAnt: May 8 2024, 08:52 AM

This.

What a beautiful, mature answer

So sorry to hear this. My cousin's wife left him for the same reason... he couldn't make enough to support her wants/needs.

my ex-wife was diagnosed with ADHD anxiety and depression and we're unable to work for almost a year.

i did not have enough time to push myself to earn as much as we did together to support my family.

during the covid time when EPF allows for withdrawal, i took all of that just to support my family's commitment and i depleted every single cent covering our expenses and some of her medication.

i believe some words now : "you will never do enough for someone, if that someone wasn't meant for you"

jus hang in there for d kids at least till they r grown up. divorce jus a recognition of ones status. especially those already financially stable. divorce is nothing.

I guess it was for the better, that it turned out the way it did.

I'm not a divorcee but have several friends who went through divorce.

Personally I think divorce is not necessarily a bad thing. Sure, at first it might feel like you've failed but for me sometimes things just don't work out for you and your ex partner. Eventually you'll see the bright side of it.

Most of my friends got divorce either their ex-husbands cheated on them, or just financially didn't provide enough for their family. But they're now much happier with their lives and a couple of them has remarried.

Recently a friend of mine told me she want a divorce and will proceed after she safely deliver her first baby. Apparently her husband changed after they got married, he had been obsessing with his ex-wife and he's barely home, he's always at his ex-wife's place with an excuse that he's spending time with his children.

What a way to start her life. Imagine delivering the baby and getting a divorce.

Correct, I have friends who have divorced and as far as I can tell a divorce isn’t the end of a happy marriage, but an end to a bad one.

One friend told me when he broke the news to his kids, they were pretty relaxed about it because many of their classmates have divorced parents too. It seems divorce is more acceptable, and ‘normal’ these days

Everyone is in different life stages i don't have proper way to explain to you

All i can say children natural instinct is very good tak kisah oku or Normal, they know what happened but they just don't understand

one thing i would say for people who plans to marry please be financially very strong.

i will even say at least be a top m40 or t20 before becoming the head of the family.

with this strong financial, you can easily lead your family and provide them with a much much better environment.

of course, you can find a decent humble partner who are okay with lower living status but that is rare. people's heart can change.

as a man, you're only loved as long as you provide.

was that an expectation from her, you or both?

men are meant to be provider of the family. I personally cannot accept if a man earns much less than me. it's not about the money per se, it's about how one's mind is aligned to improve life.

It's the rationale where if I can make my own money, why would I even need you, and men often put their self image as provider of the family, less provider of emotional needs. that is why many high ranked highly educated women end up being single.

im not even a high maintenance person, have 0 liking to branded bags etc, love roadside food, walking is my fav things to do. restaurants make me anxious as too many protocols to follow, but even if im low maintenance, it's about the alignment of mindset.

I personally don't think it's wrong for women to want a men with a roof, and a car. takkan go for a guy with only a bike. women's nature is to look after kids and to ensure the kids survive.

it's a lonely journey out there for men, but also for women.

not easy have marriage these days, both exhausted, drain of energy and money, and too much problems.

in no ways my above statement is directed to you but in general.

thanks for sharing your story.