child is not burden, i view child as gift from god. we tried ivf for 2 years still x jadi, we plan to adopt

how bout 'no'.
It's true any loving grandparents will want to participate and this do help, but It's not the grandparents 'task' per se.
They can participate when they are willing and available, but it should not be expected to.
Congratulations.
It's a reflection of you and your partner for being lovely and caring.
Of course personality is a thing that born with, she's naturally more lovely but that is only 1 side of a human being, and human are much more complex.
Be ready to find out in other department that she's lacking and ready to help her with those, like she could be later on too soft, afraid of confrontation, lack of competitiveness, unambitious and prefer stable life. (Im not saying she is, just example and not necessarily a bad thing also if she' cruising well in life).
What i meant is people wont be perfect, don't be contended for how lovely she is now, but still strive to give her guidance in all ways of life, so she can be great and well balanced.

Happy for you.
most likely the parents are charsiew too.
Charsiew doesnt grow one day, is a bbq'ing process of continuously many many years.
I've been observing many many years, people been roasting charsiew themselves, and guess who have to face the consequences the most?

regret not having baby at old age or regret have a baby during young age?

which regret runs deeper?

Wait till you die or your other half die no one help to arrange funeral or carry funeral then you  will know

My parents and grandparents failure remind me not everyone is suitable to be parent including myself

Who the fuck cares? You're already dead.

Funeral isn't for the dead, it's for the living.

Nobody wake up from death complain about funeral not done right lmao

u see one retirement home u think all kids are char siew?

without kids, definitely u need to go retirement home if you need attentive care.
or you are rich enough, u can hire full time nurse at home.

with kids, there is 50/50 chance your kids will take care of you.
it depends on how you bring up your kids.
you just ignore the kids of course the kids wont take care of you.

Who the fuck cares? You're already dead.

Funeral isn't for the dead, it's for the living.

Nobody wake up from death complain about funeral not done right lmao

Yea. Wait till the spirits comes haunt you and bring you bad luck for the rest of your life then you will know.

yeah lol. saw it first hand many times.
Funeral is for the living, some need it to feel better about themselves.

Humans are truly confused being.

On one hand people shout, it is not OK to expect your kids to take care of  you. They have their lives to live.

On the other hand same people shout, oh look that that poor old person alone in old folks home. See I told you having kids is a waste of time.

How do u know that your kids will take care of you?

I've talked some of the senior citizen among chinese people, they are so proud telling me all of their kids are living & working overseas, while they are rotting here and depends on relatives help.

Their kids only come back once a year or no come back for a long period of time

Clearly their kids don't even care much about them. I'm sure going back to Malaysia for the currency they earn is just peanut to them.

That's not something to be proud at all.

child is not burden, i view child as gift from god. we tried ivf for 2 years still x jadi, we plan to adopt

how bout 'no'.
It's true any loving grandparents will want to participate and this do help, but It's not the grandparents 'task' per se.
They can participate when they are willing and available, but it should not be expected to.
Congratulations.
It's a reflection of you and your partner for being lovely and caring.
Of course personality is a thing that born with, she's naturally more lovely but that is only 1 side of a human being, and human are much more complex.
Be ready to find out in other department that she's lacking and ready to help her with those, like she could be later on too soft, afraid of confrontation, lack of competitiveness, unambitious and prefer stable life. (Im not saying she is, just example and not necessarily a bad thing also if she' cruising well in life).
What i meant is people wont be perfect, don't be contended for how lovely she is now, but still strive to give her guidance in all ways of life, so she can be great and well balanced.

Happy for you.
most likely the parents are charsiew too.
Charsiew doesnt grow one day, is a bbq'ing process of continuously many many years.
I've been observing many many years, people been roasting charsiew themselves, and guess who have to face the consequences the most?

Sad right? More people gather when die rather than gather during living to enjoy the moment.

The dead gives no fuck about funeral.

Correct. If the kids are charsiew, it's the parent's fault. Always, without fail, no ifs and buts.

Kids mimic their parents, you don't even realize it. One day you'll surprise pikachu how come there's a mini me in the house, lol.

Kekwa
Sounds like they are only regretting their own hardship

I've cared for enough kids and teens (big extended family, close friends with kids) and i daresay taking care of another small person is hard, but the sense of fulfilment after helping others is nice and keeps you going.
Even if you seeing it as a responsibility, just knowing you have a purpose is good enough to gets one going.

Assuming you're a well adjusted adults.

These people sounds like kids themselves.