Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can

I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.

Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..

Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.

Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..

That's where both of you got your expectations wrong.

The moment I got together with my girlfriend (now wife), I straight away told her I want to get married once I am in a relationship with her.

She said yes. Then both of us got together and planned our future together.

I have been calling her my wife ever since we started dating.

In any relationship, always be clear and transparent about your expectations and goals.

If you merely want a companion or just want to have sex etc, let the girl know!

Otherwise, you are freaking wasting her time!

Well looks like you have some doubts.

A woman's dream or instinct is usually to have a family. So they want to look for a proper man to have that family with.

You on the other hand is adamant about marriage. Time for you to wake up and ask the hard question what you want ?

If you dont want marriage, dont waste her time. She is 30 years old, soon she will go into geriatric pregnancy. So time is not on her side.

What is stopping you from getting married ? Commitment issues ? Money ? Lack of freedom ?

Compared to the benefits of getting married...

Yah...lets be real, we all have heard of horror marriages. But what about the good ones.

Think about this and share with her about your marriage views. If she can accept, then its on her. If she cant, let he go and dont deny her happiness for your own selfish reasons for not wanting marriage.

Hi all sorry I've been MIA for awhile..alot of shit has been happening.. just to provide some update, me and the girl that I mentioned we eventually ended things end of Feb this year.. she invited me to meet her parents and family during CNY but I didn't attend cause I know her parents are gonna ask me about marriage and I didn't want to deal with that

My ex got furious and we had a huge argument and decided to end things..I think it ended pretty badly cause she blocked me on all social media even on WhatsApp lol..even her friends that I use to talk too kinda unfollowed me on IG as well so owh well what's done is done.

Second update, early April, one of her friends suddenly DM me on IG asking how are things and she felt bad that we broke up..so we have been talking for about two weeks now like on and off..this girl is a year older than me so she is 35.. I'm not sure what her intentions are but is it wrong for me to get to know her since she is my ex friend? Is it weird? And yes I'm still unsure about marriage also..so many dilemmas in my relationship feels like a roller coaster.

Second update, early April, one of her friends suddenly DM me on IG asking how are things and she felt bad that we broke up..so we have been talking for about two weeks now like on and off..this girl is a year older than me so she is 35.. I'm not sure what her intentions are but is it wrong for me to get to know her since she is my ex friend? Is it weird? And yes I'm still unsure about marriage also..so many dilemmas in my relationship feels like a roller coaster.

Hi all sorry I've been MIA for awhile..alot of shit has been happening.. just to provide some update, me and the girl that I mentioned we eventually ended things end of Feb this year.. she invited me to meet her parents and family during CNY but I didn't attend cause I know her parents are gonna ask me about marriage and I didn't want to deal with that

My ex got furious and we had a huge argument and decided to end things..I think it ended pretty badly cause she blocked me on all social media even on WhatsApp lol..even her friends that I use to talk too kinda unfollowed me on IG as well so owh well what's done is done.

Second update, early April, one of her friends suddenly DM me on IG asking how are things and she felt bad that we broke up..so we have been talking for about two weeks now like on and off..this girl is a year older than me so she is 35.. I'm not sure what her intentions are but is it wrong for me to get to know her since she is my ex friend? Is it weird? And yes I'm still unsure about marriage also..so many dilemmas in my relationship feels like a roller coaster.

Haaaih...TS.....time to sort your thoughts. Talking to your ex gf friend is fine. Talk aje......

As for your old age plans, you wanna be alone OR with someone.

One my my friends now age 50 regret not having anyone now. Younger days playing the field. Now rasa liao........

So you too better sort your thoughts. No point regretting later.

101% love you so much! Bro, did you have any boy please!? I have 2 daughter.

Ha! I have 2 boys and 1 daughter. 

Heh… no kids on my part, but somehow, I knew my then gf now long suffering waifu was THE ONE the minute she said yes to a meal at White Castle. And we were still in our school uniforms back then.

When you know, you know..

Haaaih...TS.....time to sort your thoughts. Talking to your ex gf friend is fine. Talk aje......

As for your old age plans, you wanna be alone OR with someone.

One my my friends now age 50 regret not having anyone now. Younger days playing the field. Now rasa liao........

So you too better sort your thoughts. No point regretting later.

But we have quite an unrepentant resident player here in this section of the forums hahaha…. He hasn’t terasa yet…

You dont derive your sense of worth of external things like money or women even a family. You just enjoy those and view it from god perspective and have an objective view of anything in life. You're not completely carried away by temptations

If he's feeling lonely, he's trapped in low paradigm for long time

I beg to differ. A healthy sense of self value has to be made up of a combination of intrinsic as well as topped up with a sprinkling of extrinsic qualities. To have only a wholly internal barometer or as you said “god perspective” is both unhealthy and unbalanced.

Megalomaniacs, dictators and narcissists… these are the characteristics of those who measure themselves with no regard for accountability.

Each individual is just playing their own character to the max
as ive covered numerous points in the previous thread

From your skewed and inaccurate perspective, yes, you’ve said that many times… perhaps in an attempt to convince yourself, most of all.

I actually found that dating in my mid 40s were much easier than when I was in my mid 20s.