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Serious How to know you are ready for marriage?, Marriage

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24erss
post Aug 28 2023, 03:00 PM

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TS don't dare to reply ?

I think you really have to get your balls out and have some responsibility for your other half.

If you're not then better go cheong / tfk at home, don't come out and destroy someone's daughters' life.
-mystery-
post Aug 28 2023, 03:02 PM

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QUOTE(24erss @ Aug 28 2023, 03:00 PM)
don't come out and destroy someone's daughters' life.
*
hahaha
you mean women are your property
and they are absolutely free and unaccountable for their own behaviours?

keep patriachy for yourself man
24erss
post Aug 28 2023, 03:12 PM

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QUOTE(-mystery- @ Aug 28 2023, 03:02 PM)
hahaha
you mean women are your property
and they are absolutely free and unaccountable for their own behaviours?

keep patriachy for yourself man
*
You are same shit as TS
DSV4600
post Aug 28 2023, 03:17 PM

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QUOTE(tekkaus @ Aug 28 2023, 10:14 AM)
That's where both of you got your expectations wrong.

The moment I got together with my girlfriend (now wife), I straight away told her I want to get married once I am in a relationship with her.

She said yes. Then both of us got together and planned our future together.

I have been calling her my wife ever since we started dating.

In any relationship, always be clear and transparent about your expectations and goals.

If you merely want a companion or just want to have sex etc, let the girl know!

Otherwise, you are freaking wasting her time!
*
Nice man. Your blog also not too bad!
tekkaus
post Aug 28 2023, 04:36 PM

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QUOTE(DSV4600 @ Aug 28 2023, 03:17 PM)
Nice man. Your blog also not too bad!
*
Thank you for the support boss! thumbsup.gif
Savor_Savvy
post Aug 28 2023, 04:51 PM

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QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can

I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.

Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..

Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.

Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
*
Time to discuss this seriously with her. Let her go if you don't want to commit.
-mystery-
post Aug 28 2023, 04:55 PM

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QUOTE(24erss @ Aug 28 2023, 03:12 PM)
You are same shit as TS
*
have a valid debate
dont personal attack idiot
Tengku_Norlin
post Aug 28 2023, 05:51 PM

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Last thread you were 35, now you 33?

Benjamin Button disease?
abelyap
post Aug 28 2023, 06:34 PM

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TS want sex without commitment ni
dude, do not waste other time lo

u can get plenty of good time with friends. unless the good time u mean is sex.
Ramjade
post Aug 28 2023, 09:21 PM

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QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can

I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.

Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..

Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.

Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
*
That's why you need to know what the girl want. For me I state what I want upfront before I start any relationship. If she doesn't want so be it.

Now your situation looks like you are not ready for marriage cause you had 2 previous relationship and you said not sure. Now you are also not sure. A girl have expiry date so of course they want to get married. Yes there are women who don't want to get married usually those super independent and feminist women. So since your girl want marriage and you are not ready, better not drag the relationship. Don't waste her time.

You can date. But find a girl who doesn't want to get married or find those super young girls who are not sure about what they want. Be upfront and don't waste people time.
nihility
post Aug 29 2023, 05:59 AM

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QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can

I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.

Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..

Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.

Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
*
If you have no plan = you plan to fail on almost all aspects. Not only relationship.

If I'm the female, I'll not be happy as well. If I'm the father of the daughter, I'll ask female to be decisive because non-decisive male without any plan will not be able to lead the relationship. From your statement, you only see the thing from the your own perspective. 1 sided view is bad & will invite a lot of conflict at the longer horizon.

Getting married doesn't mean the end to the coupling activities. In fact, it is beginning of the relationship journey with the relationship being recognized legally. At least you shows commitment / assurance that you are not wasting her youth / time.

Since she have put forward the discussion on topic, then what is your next action? Are going to plan nothing? 2 failed relationship's of the past have taught you nothing at all? You will not move or progress from here unless you learn the "lesson" the world wanted you to learn in the life.

Why not be open with her. Tell her your concerns? If financially is a concern, will she be willing to compromise on smaller scale of wedding or willing to work for common goal ?. Willing to commit >>> then those running away / chicken out.

Make a plan / goal - 2~3 years, commit to buy rent house / buy house ? Will she be ok with the option? within the next 5 years target to marry ?

If all these scare the hell out of you & you are not able to put the effort into it, then better don't be in this relationship.

This post has been edited by nihility: Aug 29 2023, 07:36 AM
cfa28
post Aug 29 2023, 08:21 AM

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hi TS as a married man with kids and speaking with other married people with kids especially those who are already married or been together for 20 years or more.

do you want kids?

if the answers is No, then don't get married.

do you feel strong emotional bonds and can really click with your spouse and share many common interest

if you don't share some strong common interest after 20 years of marriage, both of you are just staying for the sake of the kids and are emotionally unhappy


it seems that you don't really have a strong emotional connection or bond with your current partner or even precious partners.

why is something you must ask yourself. you seems to be looking for something or someone that is missing in your life. could you be ghey?

just to make sure you are honest with yourself

silverhawk
post Sep 4 2023, 10:25 AM

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QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
*
The #1 critirea of a marriage is the ability to think and care about your partner, and not just yourself.

Right now, its just about your own enjoyment, you're not thinking of your partner. If you can't even see why a 30 year old woman doesn't want to waste her time, you're just blind and ignorant at this point.

Try to figure out what you want a relationship for. Do you just want someone to hang out with? Someone to f`k? or someone to be your life long partner to help each other through the challenges in life?
lfw
post Sep 4 2023, 02:31 PM

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1. financial ready

2. thinking and mindset maturity

3. goals and visions alignment

that are the key factors that I believe will determine are you ready for marriage life. you can list out these and evaluate your current relationship does it have all of the above and then discuss with your partner.

emotions may change but it's whether both you and partner willing to align from time to time to make the relationship works nod.gif

btw, after you get married, remember to practise self love and self care as well, nothing last forever, that's the reality of life sweat.gif
sikongma
post Sep 4 2023, 03:47 PM

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You'll know you're ready for marriage if YOU are the one chasing her to get married. The fact that you don't feel the urgency to get married meant that somewhere deep down, you feel she's not right for you.
McMatt
post Sep 11 2023, 03:22 PM

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QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can

I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.

Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..

Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.

Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
*
In simplistic terms, make it known on the first date itself that you're not into marriage yet, and don't know when that can happen. If they stick with you for a while, then it's not on you.

It is a known expectation that when one gets into a relationship at that age, it will come a point where it's to proceed to the next level. Are you concerned that if you spell it out early, you won't get a date at all? If you are, then you're being the selfish party. And it can be vice versa where a girl dates a boy with the girl not wanting to get married. But the dude is ready to tie the know just after 3-6 months.

Marriage is a normal progression. If you're intending to take the not so common route, then be upfront early into the dates. Or as some suggested, date the teens or early 20s.

No. Marrriage does not dictate happiness. But it provides assurances and some form of security.

Look, you don't want to waste time, neither do they. Just get straight to the point if dating shows there is interest early on. You don't want to be misled, neither do they.
GamersFamilia
post Sep 17 2023, 06:39 AM

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QUOTE(24erss @ Aug 28 2023, 03:00 PM)
TS don't dare to reply ?
he only read our feedback doh.gif
redza2k4
post Apr 24 2024, 06:49 PM

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Every person and relationship is different, and there's no one-size-fits-all timeline for when someone should get married. Marriage shouldn't be a pressuring topic. Relationships are about growth and exploration, both individually and as a couple. It's okay to take the time you need to figure out what you want and when you're ready for it.
I recently got married at 33 after dating my partner for 8 years. She's 33 also. We did it because we felt ready. Like this was the last piece of the puzzle.
I believe in spirituality, and before we decided to take that step, some signs indicated we were on the right path. For instance, I kept seeing rings or ring shapes everywhere, and certain numbers like 12:12 and 22:22 appeared frequently. In numerology, these numbers are associated with growth and building powerful partnerships, which resonated with us. This guide on spiritual signs that you are getting married soon covers others.

This post has been edited by redza2k4: Apr 29 2024, 07:55 PM
SUSw19
post Apr 26 2024, 11:19 AM

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QUOTE(vin6 @ Aug 28 2023, 10:03 AM)
Sorry im going to keep this short -

what you expect from a 30 year old lady? she is going to expired soon.

So to answer your question if your already having doubts that means your not ready.
*
101% agree!!!!!!!
InitialB
post Apr 26 2024, 11:21 AM

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QUOTE(GambitFire @ Aug 28 2023, 09:53 AM)
Hey all just wanna get some opinion regarding marriage or how does one know if they are ready to tie the knot..my story is below will summarise it to the best I can

I'm a 33 year old dude and I'm currently dating a 30 year old lady..we met on a dating app early last year and have been in a serious relationship for about 1 year now..last month when we are hanging out and talking, the topic of marriage came out..she asked me what is my plan and when do I want to settle down.

Now this marriage topic has been a big problem for me. Previously in my last two relationships whenever this topic comes out and my answer was I don't know, the relationship goes downhill from there. The girl will be like I'm wasting her time and you get the drift..

Now with my current relationship, I'm trying to be more tactful. So I told her I want to get married but I just don't know when like I'm not sure of the timeline. I think she was not happy with my answer and she started saying things like so why are u with me? Don't u feel we are wasting time? Bla bla bla..then she said she needs to rethink about our current relationship and giving me a cold treatment now.

Why does everything have to be about marriage for women? We had a good time together as a couple, we talked, we hangout, we are there for one another and yet that is not enough? Only marriage dictates happiness?  I have been having a hard time to address this marriage topic whenever I'm with someone..I just don't know when I will be ready so does that mean I shouldn't date anybody? Is it my fault? Just help a brother out on this? Totally lost on what to do..
*
1 year is too shallow to know....

To know a wimmin personality, at least 3-5 years....

You will regret married after 1 year.

This post has been edited by InitialB: Apr 26 2024, 11:22 AM

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