My comment was directed to the "ada wang ada amoi" belief. Money is an advantage, but it shouldnt be the only game a guy has to attract a girl. And yes, men also has their own scoring system and its very much more skewed to the physical. Men in general dont care about a girls finances/resources. Women care more abt resources but they also care about the physical.

I also agree on your above post when you say women need to feel "safe". This is very important for a guy to fufill. But safety on its own is too boring. A guy need also to inject some mystery, suprises and excitement as well.

Exciting but safe, is the way to attract. Bad boy and nice guy. Yin and yang.



This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Jul 23 2024, 10:56 AM

if u are rich, u attract gold diggers.
if u are presentable, u attract girls who care about fashion.
both are similar and won't last long.

how long have you used the app before you found her?

Trust me, it's 2 years+.

To achieve a balance is the best.

But hard to do.

I believe there isn't much balance we can achieve here. Here's how I look at it:

You can spend 20 hrs of your time to work and earn money say 5 figures a month and you don't have time for yourself so you end up looking old, haggard and crapped out OR
You can spend 8 hrs of your time to work and earn money say 4 figures a month and you spend the rest going gym, sleep, healthy routines etc and you will look much better than the former.

BUT

Girls will complain the FIRST guy doesn't look good while complaining SECOND guy doesn't have enough money (if she is a damn gold digger).

I'd say, finding someone who really appreciates small things you do for her is of utmost important. If you see those entitled ones or those never be satisfied by what you can give ones, should better run fast away from them.

I found mine is the most awkward place. Still ongoing and seem quite happy to date. Not sure if gonna lasts.

My point is anything anywhere is possible just gotta keep trying and not give up

Totally agree on this. I still feel it's the art of not giving up.

I have another way to be happy.

Just wanted to weigh in on this topic from another perspective, not trying to brag or anything.

I am lucky to be able to work 8hrs, earn a good amount and spend the rest of my time doing things I like. This has allowed me to be "interesting", fit, dress well. I am also tall but thats just genetics. Wouldnt consider myself the best looking guy, but decent enough.

There are studies which say in online dating (OLD), the top 10% men get 60-80% of all matches. From my experience OLD is easy, I could get 15-20 matches a week from swiping casually. I am even making it harder for myself by only going for non-asian girls (ive posted my matches previously on the forum) and the stats remain the same. So much for Asian guys not being desired eh.

For myself the negative aspect is that there are too many options, hence the need to keep wanting to explore for someone higher up the value chain. Which is pretty toxic tbh.

So far I tried sugar dating and it works for me la. Somewhat I spend less on sugar baby than my ex gf with less headache but same benefit. Companionship, intimacy, love, etc. But no jealousy, overly attached, commitment.

Not sure if I am delusional or what but im happy in my dreams for now.

Hmm, how long term will it be if this continues?

For me right now, she is no different from GF. I give my gf allowances, buy her stuff, bring her out etc. Even if after married I still need to provide for her as wife. Right now is the same without being official. No need to worry about divorce issue.

On top of that I believe all guys (above 30) will have issues with infidelity. I somewhat have the license to do so as long as I take care of hygiene and safety (for myself and others la).

My issue is the emotional attachment. Right now is still fresh and I can take off at anytime, should I invest emotions. Or just change when I get bored?

Should I take her like my gf or just subscription service?

Well, my question on this is will you be able to invest emotionally in this since you said both of you are free to find whoever else. Which means, she maybe having weird flings outside and you have your own flings so will you be able to emotionally commit to a lady who is flinging outside?

Right now our agreement is exclusive SD SB, so far im going around still. not sure about her, choosing to trust her though. Like bf gf seldom check and assume she is loyal kind

Well I agree SD SB type but if you want to invest emotionally later on, what would you perceive this matter to be? Will you want her to be your exclusive?

I was also in a SD/SB relationship previously soon after my divorce. I wasnt in the mood for any serious relationship but wanted a SYT for company and do Bf and gf things.

She was 20+ years younger than me but very mature. Our relationship was more like a FWB. We were free to date other people but not allowed to have any other SB/SD.

Our arrangement lasted more than a year, then we mutually agreed to end it, very amicably. We are still friends and keep in touch. She now has a BF of abt her age and is getting married. Im even invited for her wedding, which I will be attending with my GF.

I wish for her to be exclusive, without a doubt sometimes when she dont reply me I get edgy a little which is not healthy. But I am matured enough to control my emotions. Somewhat by replying this way I know I have unconsciously fell for her a bit


How was your experience, do you miss the time with her etc? How much were u giving her

Well, sorry to hear that but you might be at the losing end if she really isn't exclusive to you AND if you wanna start like "I wanna date you for real", she might say no.

In a way, my SB sort of rescued me from the despair of a divorce and then moving forward. So Im thankful to her and am quite fond of her. But during our time together, I knew my SB was not "the one". The chemistry wasnt fully there.

Very different from my GF, whom I met later. This one was fireworks.

As to how much..not that much. Much cheaper than my ex wife.

Newbie question… SB is? SD is?

Thank you in advance