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 Malaysian Racist Jokes (not religion), For mamak sharing, share here

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eXPeri3nc3
post Sep 30 2007, 05:48 PM

It's coming! 3ɔu3ıɹǝdxǝ ♥
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QUOTE(Glocker @ Sep 30 2007, 04:37 PM)
Dating Malay, Chinese, and Indian chicks.

Malay girl

1st date: You get to hold hands

2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.

3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS.

Chinese girl

1st date: You take her to a restaurant.

2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.

3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night.
[I]
Indian girl

1st date: You meet her parents.

2nd date: She meets your parents.

3rd date: Wedding night.
*
OMG WIN~*!
ah_suknat
post Oct 1 2007, 07:47 AM

whoooooooooooooop
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QUOTE(soundsyst64 @ Sep 28 2007, 11:54 AM)
This one, how ah?

I'm not lazy, I'm not greedy, I'm not drunk. So which category I'm in?  hmm.gif
*

you are AH MAH CHI BAI.


tongue.gif

Added on October 1, 2007, 8:30 am
QUOTE(ahsia80 @ Sep 29 2007, 11:47 PM)
I got one..very very old joke based on the way each race's drum beating rhythm (I think during the 70's this joke was first mentioned - my dad)

Why Chinese are mostly rich?
Ans: The rhythm of drum Chinese beat " Un Tung, Un Tung, Un tung"

Why some Indians rich and some very poor?
Ans: The rhythm of drum "Kadang - Kadang Un tung, ka dang ka dang untung"

Why are Malays poor?
Ans: Tak Un Tung, Tak Un tung....

tongue.gif hope u guys understand la.. sweat.gif
*
but if you listen carefully, it's actually chinese drum that sounds "tak un tung" when they hit side of the drum in lion dance.

well, it's just a joke anyway.

This post has been edited by ah_suknat: Oct 1 2007, 08:30 AM
xingal
post Oct 9 2007, 05:46 PM

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I remember one from my primary school days.

A Chinese, a Malay and an Indian were on a plane about to crash.
They have 4 seconds to jump out of the plane before it crashes.
They decided to count to three and jump out of the plane.
However, only the Chinese survived. Why?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


icon_rolleyes.gif
Midnight~*
post Oct 9 2007, 06:07 PM

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sry wrong place plz delete this

This post has been edited by Midnight~*: Oct 9 2007, 06:09 PM
Holyboyz
post Oct 9 2007, 06:13 PM

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This is kinda an old one but wana share it with u guys

Row your boat

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


If this one tickled your funny bone i got alot more ^^
Mgsrulz
post Oct 10 2007, 12:58 AM

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very very rude joke,so i'll spoiler tag it.(open at your own risk)
found it online,btw

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


if anyone thinks this is way too rude,let me know,i'll delete it
oUtLawMaNia
post Oct 10 2007, 01:16 AM

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4 friends, an Indonesian, a French, a Malay, and a Chinese, went hiking on a hill together. When they reached the top, the Indonesian took out a cigarette and started smoking halfway before throwing his pack of cigarettes down the hill. He said, "My country lacks of everything except of cigarettes."

Not to be outdone, the French took out an expensive bottle of fragrance, put it on, and threw the remaining down the hill. "My country lacks of everything except of fragrances."

When they both turned their heads to the Chinese, they looked in horror as the Chinese kicked his Malay friend down the hill. "My country ah, what also don't have, only have alot of Malays."
chibi_tenko
post Oct 10 2007, 09:52 AM

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QUOTE(Holyboyz @ Oct 9 2007, 06:13 PM)
This is kinda an old one but wana share it with u guys

Row your boat

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


If this one tickled your funny bone i got alot more ^^
*
ROFL, I didn't get this at first, then I re-read again, then only got the 'joke'.

It might sound offensive to some but come on la, it's a joke ma.
skincladalien
post Oct 10 2007, 10:11 AM

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this abit different version...

one night an angel was flying around. She saw a guy is counting sheep at bed: "one, two, three, four, five, six, ..."

the angel removed his left brain, and the guy counts: "one, ..., three, ..., five, ..., ..."

then angel then return his left brain and removed his right brain, the guy counts: "..., two, ..., four, ..., six, ..."

finally the angel removed both brains and the guy counts:
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


tongue.gif
imperialrealcs
post Oct 10 2007, 11:18 AM

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what is the diffrence between an indian and a bucket of shit?
dont click if u dont want to see the joke whistling.gif
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


This post has been edited by imperialrealcs: Oct 10 2007, 11:18 AM
Holyboyz
post Oct 10 2007, 12:29 PM

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Heres a few more! once more no offence


When a Malay and an Indian is in a car whos driving?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


What is Yellow out side black inside and funny!

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


2 Malay guys jump off a cliff who reaches the bottom and dies first?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


What do u do when u see a Malay with half a face?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


A Malay person on the moon is a called?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


A group or Malay people on the moon is called?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


The entire Malay population on the moon is called?

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


An Indian under the ocean

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


The entire Indian population under the ocean

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


If these offends anyone at all ill take them down on the spot
ty for reading wink.gif





This post has been edited by Holyboyz: Oct 10 2007, 12:40 PM
sqwerk2
post Oct 10 2007, 12:55 PM

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F***,i can't stop laughing.....later kena kantoi by boss....but who cares? wuahahahahhaha
dream5518
post Oct 10 2007, 01:00 PM

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I LOL-ed HARD
redeye84
post Oct 10 2007, 01:12 PM

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I got one.

A Indian,Chinese and a Malay guy walking down the street then suddenly a Car came and knock all 3 of them in 1 shot.

Soon it attracted a Crowd as there try to help the victims. While waiting for the ambulance , The Indian guy suddenly woke up and the Crowd ask what happend?

He said when they all 3 were hit they when to heaven. God told them that it wasnt really their time so with a fee of $100 they can return back to their body.

So the Crowd ask where was the Chinese and Malay guy. He said
"Last time i remember The Chinese guy was bargaining for a lowwer fee and The malay guy insist that his Goverment pay for it.

Ok here another one.

A Korean guy ask God
"God when will Korea wins the World cup"
God said
"50 years"
The Korean Guy cried because he wont live to see his country team wins
A Singaporean guy ask God
"God when will Singapore wins the world cup"
God said
"100 years"
The Singaporean guy cried because he and his son wont live to see his country team wins.
A Malaysian guy ask God
"God when will Malaysia wins the world cup"
God cried instead.

This post has been edited by redeye84: Oct 10 2007, 01:16 PM
skang_81
post Oct 10 2007, 01:15 PM

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LOL, btw, why so few jokes about chinese?

This post has been edited by skang_81: Oct 10 2007, 01:16 PM
chypher
post Oct 10 2007, 01:30 PM

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too bad lar... cos chinese are smart enough to create jokes about others...


*this is a joke*
Holyboyz
post Oct 10 2007, 02:19 PM

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Here's a Chinese one!

One day a chinese, malay, and indian guy died and went to heaven. The guardian of heavens gates said that heaven was overpopulated and he can only let a person in if they are truly and purely holy.To determined whether they are holy enuf or not they had to climb the "100 stairs of dirty jokes" where at every step an angel will appear and tell them a dirty joke,if they can climb the stairs without laughing at any of the jokes they would be able to enter heaven.

So the malay guy started first....on the 3rd step he laughed and *BOOM* was sent to hell

2nd the indian guy went......on the 40th step the laugh so loud he craped his pants *BOOM* he was sent to hell

Finally it was the Chinese guys turn....he climbed climbed and climbed without laughing at any of the jokes...amazingly he made it to the 99th step!! 1 more to go and he would make it to heaven. BUT as he was going to climb the final step he laughed out loud and *BOOM* was send to hell

The Malay and indian guy in hell was confused and ask him why did he laugh!! he was to close to getting into heaven

The chinese guy said :" i finally understood the first joke"

This post has been edited by Holyboyz: Oct 11 2007, 01:04 AM
Cheesenium
post Oct 10 2007, 05:38 PM

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QUOTE(redeye84 @ Oct 10 2007, 01:12 PM)
A Korean guy ask God
"God when will Korea wins the World cup"
God said
"50 years"
The Korean Guy cried because he wont live to see his country team wins
A Singaporean guy ask God
"God when will Singapore wins the world cup"
God said
"100 years"
The Singaporean guy cried because he and his son wont live to see his country team wins.
A Malaysian guy ask God
"God when will Malaysia wins the world cup"
God cried instead.
*
This one is damn funny.
CKC_1
post Oct 10 2007, 08:29 PM

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QUOTE(Holyboyz @ Oct 10 2007, 02:19 PM)
Here's a Chinese one!

One day a chinese, malay, and indian guy died and went to heaven. The guardian of heavens gates said that heaven was overpopulated and he can only let a person in if they are truly and purely holy.To determined whether they are holy enuf or not they had to climb the "100 stairs of dirty jokes" where at every step an angel will appear and tell them a dirty joke,if they can climb the stairs without laughing at any of the jokes they would be able to enter heaven.

So the malay guy started first....on the 3rd step he laughed and *BOOM* was sent to hell

2nd the indian guy went......on the 40th step the laugh so loud he craped his pants *BOOM* he was sent to heaven

Finally it was the Chinese guys turn....he climbed climbed and climbed without laughing at any of the jokes...amazingly he made it to the 99th step!! 1 more to go and he would make it to heaven. BUT as he was going to climb the final step he laughed out loud and *BOOM* was send to hell

The Malay and indian guy in hell was confused and ask him why did he laugh!! he was to close to getting into heaven

The chinese guy said :" i finally understood the first joke"
*
wahahaha..not bad not bad..
wawasan2020
post Oct 10 2007, 08:44 PM

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haha.yeap.but that joke is interchangeable character.so not tat creative at all

Added on October 10, 2007, 8:45 pmgot 1 here

kinda lame,

mat salleh is Guai lou(ghost)
indian is Keling cuai(ghost)
malay is Malai chu(pig)
chinese is TONG YAN(human)

only chinese is human.haha


This post has been edited by wawasan2020: Oct 10 2007, 08:45 PM
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