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Serious Why some old people still single?, serious question

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TSbeeMay
post Jan 7 2021, 01:31 PM

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QUOTE(Rebecca2000 @ Jan 7 2021, 08:46 AM)
As you get older, you get more set in your ways.  It is harder to adjust to others.

Relationships take 2, and constant adjustment to each other.  When one is younger, there is more room to learn new things, and compromise with each other.

As one gets older, they may get very stubborn, and have formed lifelong habits.  It is harder to compromise.

From what I have observed, I think this is why some older people remain single - even if it is involuntary.
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hmmm yeah thats true
klch87
post Jan 7 2021, 03:13 PM

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i'm a male close to 40s and married. some of my male friends are also close to 40s but not married.

some of the things i notice about them are:
a) no confidence in finding partners, not good in socializing
b) introvert
c) may have attitude issue (hot temper)
d) too picky (always want girls up to his expectation padahal he is an average joe with ahbeng face)

i dont think face problem is the number 1 factor. that face problem can be removed easily once girls see your other qualities.
TSbeeMay
post Jan 7 2021, 04:22 PM

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QUOTE(klch87 @ Jan 7 2021, 03:13 PM)
i'm a male close to 40s and married. some of my male friends are also close to 40s but not married.

some of the things i notice about them are:
a) no confidence in finding partners, not good in socializing
b) introvert
c) may have attitude issue (hot temper)
d) too picky (always want girls up to his expectation padahal he is an average joe with ahbeng face)

i dont think face problem is the number 1 factor. that face problem can be removed easily once girls see your other qualities.
*
i also notice same problem among girls. so guys expect a lot, girls also expect a lot , thats difficult.
not sure lah but my friends put physical as 1st most important quality. Then only personality lol. If personality ok, we stay. But if faceproblem, we dont wanna know your personality lol
klch87
post Jan 7 2021, 04:28 PM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 7 2021, 04:22 PM)
i also notice same problem among girls. so guys expect a lot, girls also expect a lot , thats difficult.
not sure lah but my friends put physical as 1st most important quality. Then only personality lol. If personality ok, we stay. But if faceproblem, we dont wanna know your personality lol
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faceproblem is normal. not everyone is born hensem or beautiful.
many of my frens also get pretty/ handsome partners but they themselves are pork chops. the secret is know how to groom and dress well. confidence also important.

but i guess your frens are still young. when they get older then they realize $$$ is the most important. faceproblem is the least of problem lol.
w19
post Jan 8 2021, 01:53 AM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 2 2021, 09:17 PM)
as per title.

Sorry if this question is offensive/stupid but Im genuinely curious.

I met a lot of old people that are still single (never married) and just wonder why. their age is 40+, some i know are retired like 60+, theres one grandpa i met before too (idk his age, maybe 70+?) , i assumed he is a grandpa with grandchildren but actually hes single and never married.
I cant ask them cause they might get offended. so i ask here lol

i have 1 relative she is 40 and still looking but no luck. I personally think her personality is good, maybe physically not so attractive but ive seen uglier people and people with worse personality have husband/wife.

i dont get it, i thought theres a person for everyone?
*
Everyone have secret!
viole
post Jan 9 2021, 08:34 AM

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QUOTE(klch87 @ Jan 7 2021, 03:13 PM)
i'm a male close to 40s and married. some of my male friends are also close to 40s but not married.

some of the things i notice about them are:
a) no confidence in finding partners, not good in socializing
b) introvert
c) may have attitude issue (hot temper)
d) too picky (always want girls up to his expectation padahal he is an average joe with ahbeng face)

i dont think face problem is the number 1 factor. that face problem can be removed easily once girls see your other qualities.
*
most of my 30++ single friends (including me) are just picky.
wschoo26
post Jan 13 2021, 12:43 PM

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I am approaching my 50 and I do have a great bunch of singles , both male and females over their 40s. Late marriage or not getting marry at all seems to become a norm nowadays.
There are many reasons. Some watch too much movie and have high expectation , hoping their partner will be Tom Cruise or Angeline Joline. Some due to economy or to reach a status , spending more time on work, but as when they reach a comfortable financial status, their age already 45 or 50 . Some due to shyness, inferiority and having unpleasant physical look. Some are handsome but playboys. Some choose to chase money than chasing girl as chasing money is easier than girl. HUman is hardest to tackle. Some give up trying. Some being cheated and disappointed. Some may used to their own freedom. Some prefer not being tie down. Some have seen the trouble and havoc of marriages. Marriage is not a smooth and sweet journey, problems guaranteed to happens occasionally and this is the real acid test of the relationship. After marriage only , you see the true self of each other .
After being said, what I observed from myself is high expectation , unable to give in for the less, unwilling to tolerate . After marriage , each person trying to change each other personalities and character and thus relationship start to crack.
To love oneself is not easy but to find two persons to love each other is more difficult. How many can able to find true love? Perhaps it just "tolerated" love.
Physical attraction just start the "love fire" but to keep the fire going is the unseen aspect such as characters, tolerance , each other aim in life.
It is human instinct to look for the best . But the best comes with a heavy price tag and sacrifice. No wrong no right....Each person is entitle for their own choice of living in life.
I like this quote by Ray Croft " I love you not only for what you are , but for what I am when I am with you.". Doesn't mean you have great physical look , I will love you, I wont be your ATM...lol..you need to earn your respect and worth too....smile.gif

This post has been edited by wschoo26: Jan 13 2021, 09:04 PM
dogbert_chew
post Jan 13 2021, 05:20 PM

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"Might be just too much expectations in a relationship vs the freedom to enjoy life with a bunch of great friends."

Opinion of a single again 50+ male
Juggerballz
post Jan 17 2021, 10:08 AM

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QUOTE(klch87 @ Jan 7 2021, 04:28 PM)
faceproblem is normal. not everyone is born hensem or beautiful.
many of my frens also get pretty/ handsome partners but they themselves are pork chops. the secret is know how to groom and dress well. confidence also important.

but i guess your frens are still young. when they get older then they realize $$$ is the most important. faceproblem is the least of problem lol.
*
Unfortunately, and to be honest with myself, I'm a very handsome guy. No joke, seriously.

The reason I'm still single is that I'm too focused in earning money and in my career, I don't socialize enough.

I guess that's one big reason.

Probably meeting friends through friends?
MangO
post Jan 17 2021, 01:18 PM

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Men = I believe men do want to get married however now a days they prioritise their career (previous generation they could earn a family wage but now even taking care of your self is hard) and they enjoy their personal freedom. Also whats the main benefit to getting married? Access to s*x and children which is readily available and does not require marriage.

Women = Since entering the workforce salary is effectively halved since we have double the number of workers. Those women you see that are older and remain single are usually educated and they can't accept a man of their equal even though they want equality. They believe they have become successful career women and men will find that desirable however thats now proven the opposite. They need to broaden their horizon and look at men they traditionally would not even consider.

There are many other factors but these are the key ones that come across to mind.
nihonc610 P
post Jan 17 2021, 07:45 PM

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1. Maybe they gave up in dating after their previous relationships ended dramatically and they are so heart broken.

2. They are nice people but they are just happy being single.

3. Maybe they have serious illnesses since young and they do not want to burden others or possibly pass down the illness to their future offspring.

4. They just cannot find THE ONE. So rather than marrying a wrong person, and ended up divorced and live a depressing life, better stay single and enjoy life.
pillage2001
post Jan 18 2021, 03:37 PM

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going 40 and not married but have almost always be in a relationship.... lol
saitamabest
post Jan 18 2021, 03:40 PM

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Money tak dak
How to get married
mycolumn
post Jan 19 2021, 08:34 AM

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Many reasons.. by choice, dun want settle down, cannot find the “one”
pokchik
post Jan 19 2021, 08:36 AM

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QUOTE(beeMay @ Jan 2 2021, 09:17 PM)
i dont get it, i thought theres a person for everyone?
*
there is - look in the mirror.
AgnesB
post Jan 22 2021, 09:34 AM

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Picky
Normal look but expect a lot from other

seanlam
post Jan 24 2021, 01:19 PM

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time will tell, anyway action speak louder...grab the chance whenever it appear
A183RT0
post Jan 24 2021, 04:54 PM

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1 main reason in a word:
Money
ymc2303
post Jan 24 2021, 07:58 PM

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the older they get, the less sociable they are. well at least those around me is. not all people are created equal in terms of getting partner, married or settle down. with difference in personalities and characteristic, most people nowadays prefer to be single to attained freedom and personal space in exchange for naggy partners.
-mystery-
post Feb 16 2021, 04:17 PM

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QUOTE(ymc2303 @ Jan 24 2021, 07:58 PM)
the older they get, the less sociable they are. well at least those around me is.
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Getting comfortable (selfisolation) is not being socially confident. Thats being avoidant to reality.

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